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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Student house of freezing teenagers - heating on? No

177 replies

Uneek · 23/11/2022 21:12

My DD lives in a student rental with 5 others, with rent and bills split evenly between them. A couple of them are refusing to put the heating on. When my DD has suggested having it on with the thermostat set at a low temp, one of them said she should just put another jumper on. When DD said she would buy a plug in electric heater for her bedroom, the 'put another jumper on' student said she would not pay towards the electricity for the heater as it costs more than gas.

This has turned into a competition to see how long they can go with no heating. 'Another jumper on' student even suggested seeing if they can last until Christmas!

Has anyone else come across this issue? Suggestions on how to stop a war breaking out in this house and allow them to defrost...

OP posts:
WhistPie · 23/11/2022 23:11

We all had paraffin heaters in our rooms! No pipes to burst either - instant water heaters in the kitchen & bathroom and an electric shower which we never used & used the showers in the student swimming pool (£3 a year membership fee!)

user1471459761 · 23/11/2022 23:16

Oh for God's sake. When I was at uni there was frost on the inside of the windows in the morning. We used a coin meter gas heater for the rest of the day when we were in although allegedly the central heating was on for a bit. If she is young and healthy though, just put on some more clothes and get some more bedding. We need to be using less energy in this world!

Cantseethewindows · 23/11/2022 23:20

Suggestions on how to stop a war breaking out in this house and allow them to defrost...

Cold War 2

<I'll get my coat>

IDontWantToBeAPie · 23/11/2022 23:24

It's a cost of living crisis. Most of the UK isn't putting the heat on. Buy her a hot water bottles

She's welcome to put it on if she's willing to pay the whole gas bill. If not they've said they can't afford it. If they can't afford it she can't make them pay for it...

IDontWantToBeAPie · 23/11/2022 23:25

Also I haven't pu my the heating on and likely won't until Jan. It's been mild and when I was a student in single glazed housing we never put it on.
It's not a case of £20 here and there now it's a case of £200-500

Blossomtoes · 23/11/2022 23:28

DuesToTheDirt · 23/11/2022 21:50

Times have changed, obviously... when I was a student I no student houses that I knew of put their heating on!

Same. It was really difficult to persuade them to put the hot water on in the one I shared.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 23/11/2022 23:29

Can you imagine barely getting by as a student and then being landed with hundreds for a gas bill? Just because your daughter has you and - clearly - money doesn't mean they have a penny from their parents

I remember working 30 hours a week while studying & my housemates not earning a penny. It felt like shit telling them.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 23/11/2022 23:31

Agapornis · 23/11/2022 22:52

To the PPs being all nostalgic, is not having had central heating 40-50 years ago relevant right now? Do you feel young people should suffer/live the same way you did? Having central heating is progress, no?

Get your DD a heater for the day and an electric blanket for the night.

Mine was 2013-17

youhavenoshameonyourface · 23/11/2022 23:32

This thread reminded me of a house share from when I was 17, no CH but we had a gas fire which took a big gas bottle - we all basically lived in the one room heated by this. About 3 years on I decorated and removed a blind from a high up hall window to paint the wall and found that the window had been open by 6 inches for the entire 3 years! I always thought there was a freezing breeze in that hallway!
So, just saying, out of all of us teenagers are probably the most resilient. They need some form of heat on though. We haven't reached the apocalypse quite yet.

YukoandHiro · 23/11/2022 23:33

This is a tricky one. I went to uni two decades ago and even then, with bills relatively low, it was a point of friction between members of the house share. I have some sympathy with the person who doesn't want to fork out for someone else's room heater.
I'm a cold person and struggled a bit. I just used to put it on whenever the others were out.

PlantDoctor · 23/11/2022 23:33

This was a pretty standard autumn argument when I was a student!

Firethrice · 23/11/2022 23:34

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 23/11/2022 23:03

Staying warm: What does an unheated room do to your body? www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-63602501

The guy is wearing shorts ffs! Surely no one expects to run around their house in the winter wearing shorts. Such a load of crap that experiment annoyed the bejesus ours of me. Never mind him suggesting that different genders react to cold in different ways - can I identify as a man for the winter, will that make a difference?

Youdoyoubabe · 23/11/2022 23:40

Well I went to uni in the 90s and we didn't have central heating in the house. We did have individual gas heaters though which were lovely but you had to set your alarm for an hour before you got up to warm the room up,

Can you get her an electric bar heater or somethign like that.

Sleighbellsringiamlistening · 23/11/2022 23:44

This is very common at university.
A girl in my house used to spend so much on make up she had no money for eating and bills (no joke). She lived on cup a soup. The other 5 girls also refused to pay for heating.

I was very young at the time and my parents offered to pay the full gas/electric bill. This was not accepted. It was ridiculous.

JockTamsonsBairns · 23/11/2022 23:46

When I moved into my first flat in the early 90s, I had storage heaters that I couldn't afford to run. I got myself a Calor gas heater, which I could wheel from the bedroom to the living room - so just heating the room I was in.
I haven't seen these for a long time now. Maybe they're deemed unsafe or something?

Just a suggestion for next year, Op. Encourage your DD to find a flat which is rent inclusive of bills. DS did this, and it made a world of difference.

Crosswithlifeatm · 23/11/2022 23:47

I think getting a heater for her room secretly is dishonest as they cost a lot to run and her friends,who are trying toake their money last ,will be paying most of her bill.
Electric throws are great and very cheap to run.I have a friend who has poncho thing warmed on a battery,cheap to recharge.

antelopevalley · 23/11/2022 23:52

If she gets a heater for her room and the others find out, it could become very difficult for her to continue living there. No one likes liars.

healthadvice123 · 23/11/2022 23:55

@FeelingwearyFeeelingsmall but they don't have gas fires and calor gas so they , just radiators and yes people survived but its miserable and not fun, plus no heating at all could cause damp and mould and mould is dangeRous and not good for health

Nat6999 · 23/11/2022 23:55

A halogen heater or an oil filled radiator & a heated throw, something she can bung in her wardrobe if she isn't there. At least in halls there would be heating on. What are they doing for hot water if there is no heating? That will be costing more than if the heating was on.

healthadvice123 · 23/11/2022 23:59

@ChillyFingers yes same for my ds only a little heater in his room which is controlled by uni for times i think , which is fair enough but his not worked since day moved in , been reported as has his toilet which is constNtly running, so if on a water meter will cost them

BreadInCaptivity · 24/11/2022 00:02

@Uneek

Firstly you need your DD to look at her tenancy agreement.

Is there any clause re: utilities?

Secondly she needs to know who is the named party re: billing utilities.

This is helpful: glide.co.uk/guides/when-your-housemate-isnt-paying-bills/

In our case, the Uni acts a broker for landlords and provides maintenance for the property.

There is a set amount included in each housemates weekly rent for utilities that if they exceed they have to top up.

However, that top up is proportional so in a house of 4 (in our case) the liability would only be our child's share and the Uni would reclaim the rest from any non-payer.

In return for this contract all the housemates had to have a guarantor (and we are one for our child).

In our case we told DS to have an early convo about utility usage and they are all being sensible.

We don't want them to be cold, but neither wasteful by leaving lights on or turning the heating off and then "blasting" it when they freeze - rather a sensible temperature that's maintained is more cost efficient as is employing other simple strategies such as closing curtains/doors and sharing the oven to cook together where possible.

When I was at Uni I had the same experience as a pp with some housemates being heating refuseniks, only to find they'd very nicely kitted out their rooms with electric blankets and fan heaters. That issue was swiftly resolved.

Basically your DD shouldn't assume the jumper crowd are practicing what they preach.

Finally, it's all very well saying students should "suffer" as we all did and put up with it.

Not so great if a child has asthma for example.....

healthadvice123 · 24/11/2022 00:03

Bare in mind they at least have. £66 money on meter etc from goverment so surely can have heating on a little as half dec most if not all won't be there
Also they would be spending some on heating before price hike
Yes everything has gone up but all these saying not having my heating in at all, yet used to have it on 8 hrs a day. Just have it on a little while
Plus many landlords have it in contracts now to keep min temp to prevent damp/ mould etc

JemimaTiggywinkles · 24/11/2022 00:11

Who is being unreasonable massively depends on where you live. My heating went on for the first time this week (NW England) because I haven’t needed it until now. Even then it was because of comfort rather than actual need. Other places may have had different weather and so actually needed it.

Either way, with shared bills you are expecting your flat mates to fund your lifestyle if you want heating on and they don’t. Lots of students have no parental support and the extra cost of heating may well be something they literally can’t afford. And if they are from poorer backgrounds (like I was) they may genuinely not think it’s that cold because they’re used to lower temperatures in the house.

Cw112 · 24/11/2022 00:13

healthadvice123 · 24/11/2022 00:03

Bare in mind they at least have. £66 money on meter etc from goverment so surely can have heating on a little as half dec most if not all won't be there
Also they would be spending some on heating before price hike
Yes everything has gone up but all these saying not having my heating in at all, yet used to have it on 8 hrs a day. Just have it on a little while
Plus many landlords have it in contracts now to keep min temp to prevent damp/ mould etc

This depends where they are, this hasn't been rolled out across all of the UK yet. No support is in place where I am and no plan for when it will be.

I would be wary of going down the sneaky route. If the others are being very frugal they're probably watching the electric meter to see how much they're using as it records usage by day. They'll notice if there's a sudden jump and want to know why that is. If they can get a majority agreement in place in the first instance that would be a more harmonious route to take. Being out more and prioritising which rooms in the house are heated during the day might help.

UsingChangeofName · 24/11/2022 00:16

It's a standard point of friction in ALL house shares. The more people sharing, the less harmonious it tends to be.
It has been a point of friction in all my dcs' house shares - they being the ones watching the pennies with some others wanting the heating on throughout the 24 hours of each day, and when it got hot, they would open windows Confused
I walked into student dds' house last year and the first thing that struck me was how hot it was.

There are, of course compromises between 'no heating' and 'never wearing warmer Winter clothes'.

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