Kids still feeling the effects of lockdowns…

[sloanedanger]

I just got caught reading a really interesting thread on Twitter started by a teacher:

“Is anyone else thinking we are starting to see the impact of 2 years of disruption and time at home, due to COVID 19, in schools? Extreme behaviours? Some pupils very emotional and struggling to regulate? Low attendance compared to normal? Winter bugs hitting hard?”

A lot of the comments say Y3 is the worst, others saying Years 7 and 8.

My DS is in Year 2 and often struggles with emotions and self regulation at school. It’s made me think, perhaps there’s a reason why linked to the pandemic. Lockdown was hard, DP and I were home with very young DC, trying to work, poor mental health, emotions high. Very little patience.

FGS. This is fucking ridiculous.

Every. Single. Time. I am beyond fucked off with threads discussing children - some who were not even school age at the time of the lockdowns - being taken over by people with an agenda.

And @Walkaround you were the one who originally called people concerned about the effects of lockdown on children ‘self pitying’ IIRC, so it is a little strange you are declaring yourself an arbiter of what is respectful language TBH.

@Runaway1 - I agree some of the positioning was completely illogical and confused and that confusion generally over the rules and the purpose of the rules exacerbated the situation. It was all a bit panicky. And closing playgrounds for months on end was awful - so defensive, by decision makers terrified of being sued at a later date and thinking it was the easiest way to protect themselves. It was extremely upsetting to have to walk past empty, neglected playgrounds. But then I think angry blame culture has a lot of responsibility for those sorts of knee jerk reactions and that leads me back to the point that I don’t think anger is a positive or helpful response, as I don’t think we learn the lessons we need to learn if we let ourselves focus on the sense of anger and blame we all feel.

It is self-pitying to focus on being angry and finding people to blame for it.

Blimey, you really don't seem able to do much other the I know you are you said you are so what am I then schtick. It's funny how the I'm just trying to heeeeeeeelp facade didn't last very long.

So let's dig down a bit more into the unequalled arrogance here, the things you've done that nobody else has. My own favourite example, though I acknowledge others may want to pick one of your others, is when you decided that people who have a view on what's useful for them as individuals that happens not to align with yours were being arrogant. That's so incredible that I think it would be entertaining to hear more about it. The rationale, the process, the complete lack of shame. Tell us, how did you come to this conclusion?

I am not angry, although I am beyond irritated with these attempts to divert the thread into silly squabbles about who said what - it’s long been a mystery to me why children were supposed to be resilient to playgrounds being shut, families being separated, friends being out of bounds, no holidays, no soft play, no theatre tickets or days out or aquarium / farm / zoo trips, but teachers are not only permitted but encouraged to still be angry about someone saying something on here two and a half years ago - but I have had to file it away under things I do not understand and never will.

If I want to be angry however I reserve that right. I’m not, as it happens - I’m sad, at some things, but for the most part it just is, it is like the Boxing Day tsunami or the Haiti earthquake, I wish fervently they did not happen but they did. I don’t blame the oceans or the plates of the earth nonetheless I recognise the loss and the sadness and the disruption to life that happened as a result.

The lockdowns are like that for me. I recognise why they happened, I still feel sadness. I feel sad for the children who missed out and they really did, for the elderly who spent years isolated, for the disabled, the mentally unwell. I understand how this impacted disproportionately upon them.

Intentionally or otherwise there is a constant attempt on these threads to close down discussion and to tell people quite brusquely that looking back is in some way harmful. I’m just going to repeat that it’s by looking back we can go forwards. I’d appreciate that being ‘allowed’

Every. Single. Time. I am beyond fucked off with threads discussing children - some who were not even school age at the time of the lockdowns - being taken over by people with an agenda.

Mmm, seems there's always something doesn't it? People who want to talk about the detrimental impact of restrictions on children are inevitably doing it wrong.

@PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior - but you accused me of arrogance. I never accused you of arrogance, I asked you how you could say I was being arrogant if your behaviour was not arrogant. You could have concluded neither of us was being arrogant, we were just stating our personal opinions, but you were aggressively and very personally trying to shut me down for expressing my opinion that angry blaming of others is not healthy.

I accused you of arrogance because of things you have done, that nobody else has. The argument you make here is that essentially anyone making any kind of value judgement, including about themselves apparently, is arrogant if it happens that their value judgement doesn't match yours. This is quite simply not the same as pointing out to a person that they are unqualified to make certain calls.

Ultimately, you being arrogant doesn't make a person who correctly identifies your arrogance as arrogant, it just means they're practicing basic comprehension.

Sharing experiences isn’t unhealthy, self pitying or necessarily angry. But if it is the latter so what

People can not join in if they find it a negative

Lmao don't be so reasonable.

😆

A lot of the trauma is the very fact that children and parents were very obviously thrown under the bus in ways they weren’t in other countries. In that second lockdown a 5 year old could not be in school, but also could not meet with a single
friend outdoors in England by law because of course they needed to be with a caregiver. This wasn’t the case in other countries, including Scotland and wasn’t the case for 4 year olds. It was utterly illogical and abhorrent and obviously so. The fact that neither government nor opposition gave a toss and we’re happy to isolate them completely is frankly horrifying.

The rule you've described that specifically isolated primary aged children was so outrageous. I convinced myself it must be an oversight and wrote to my (Tory) MP about it. After two months of procrastination, he wrote back in mid March 2021 to say that it was all OK now as the children had returned to school 😤

Mind you, when I wrote the above on a thread on here last year, a delightful poster said I sounded like an Us4Them stooge, whining on to my MP about how my child had been affected instead of taking responsibility myself for their happiness....

Who said sharing experiences is unhealthy, self-pitying or necessarily angry, though? I specifically said it is good to share experiences. Angrily attributing blame on others for them is what I said might be derailing this thread, not the sharing of negative experiences - funny how that is not considered a value judgement by those doing it.

And it’s a bit weird of specific posters to think I was saying everyone on the thread was being angry and blaming others and to go out of their way to claim they were not being at all angry and were merely sharing experiences, not trying to attribute blame for them. If my comments didn’t fit your motivations, then you didn’t need to comment back, you could have assumed they were directed at others. But instead, you protest too much.

You did.They were your words. Anyway it’s dull going on about your post. People have pointed out why it came across badly but no go with taking it on board. So moving on…

Bit of a pattern isn’t it @Walkaround - you say something and bizarrely, all of us interpret it the same way but we’re all wrong and angry, or something.

@CornishYarg there was and to an extent is a lot of parent blame around.

Not “all of us” @Blackcatinanalley…. Three of you. I am sure I could have worded some of my posts better, as with all posters on any thread ever, but I was very specific that I think sharing experiences is one thing, but straying into blaming others for all the harms done and imagining they could all have been avoided if it were not for others, then focusing on that, is another. If you disagree that the thread was more instructive and constructive before some people started getting angry and blaming others for certain behaviours (which is what caused noblegiraffe to comment on the thread in the first place, because funnily enough, she was defending herself and, if groups of people feel blamed, they tend to argue back…), then that’s your opinion. And I continue to have mine. And the more time that is wasted arguing over whether it is healthy to blame others, rather than talking about the effects suffered, the more I feel my point is being made….

Yes, yes, I’m sure we are all wrong, you are right, poor you, how awful

Nothing awful, and not a question of right or wrong, but one of opinion, except apparently in the mind of a few posters, such as yours, @Blackcatinanalley . Are you always so obsessed with people being right or wrong?

A lot of the trauma is the very fact that children and parents were very obviously thrown under the bus in ways they weren’t in other countries. In that second lockdown a 5 year old could not be in school, but also could not meet with a single
friend outdoors in England by law because of course they needed to be with a caregiver.

Absolutely this. My daughter wasn’t legally allowed to meet another child for months on end, but there was absolutely no reason this should have been the case. We have to stalk about the harms caused so we can ensure they are mitigated if, god forbid, this ever

And remember it was dark at 4/5pm during the second lockdown. You weren't allowed people in the house. By the time you'd got school finished and some of my own work done it was dark.

I remember arranging to meet a nursery pal in the park, except I'd told my LO, and it was raining, not even a light shower either. We were soaking after an hour in the rain

Not sure what happened to my post! Should read ‘talk about’, not ‘stalk about’, and last sentence should read ‘this ever happens again’.

It’s not difference of opinion it was telling people expressing feelings it was unhealthy and self pitying.I think that’s wrong. Would they go on another board and do that?

Would you like it if you were to recount your Covid experience - self pitying, unhealthy etc