Aibu to think that 36 is still relatively young to have a child?

[Hdaniels11]

I have a Dd who's 9 and a Ds who's 6 and i'm thinking of having another baby. I'm 36 now and was amazed when i find out once you turn 34 you are classed as a geriatric mother! I always thought 25-38 was the prime time to have babies. Aibu to think you shouldn't be classed as an older mother until you are in your 40s?

He does.
DS was born when DH and I were 32. We don't live in an affluent area and we are much older than his friends parents. It's never failed to nark him.

I think it’s a normal age to have your last child when you already have a few

Definitely on the older side if it was your first

Unsure of your tone. Were you intending a cutting reply or a funny one? Please elaborate.

It's not an uncommon age to have a baby these days but biologically, 36 is not "young".

Thank you @Canthave2manycats

My DM was 36 when she had me,I was her third. This was in 1963. I can remember her telling me that nobody remarked on her age,or thought it at all unusual to have a baby at that age.

I had my fourth at 32 and considered myself Old to have a new baby. I still think I was more than old enough now I'm 46 with a 13yo. I was pregnant with my first at 21 though.

I had my first this year. I'm 36 next month. It makes me sad I will be 40 when she starts school. 50 when she's in her teens. 60 plus probably when she moves out.
I love her dearly, but I wouldn't choose to have a baby so "late"
I know it's different for everyone. And there are plenty of people who have them much later and adore it. But that's my personal opinion

I always got pregnant really easily (had four) but have been without a partner for last 12 years. I wonder if I would still get pregnant now or if id have to be careful still. I'm 46 so approaching approaching the end biologically even though I don't feel it.

Id class it young. My mum had my sister at that age and as a kid I thought it was late but naah having had pregnancies and losses etc I still think it's young. Old would be 39 and over....

No it's not young. or even average age. 35+ is within the older to have a baby age range. I had mine at 31 and 35 and said if I were going to have a 3rd it would have to be immediately because I was starting to feel the effects of being a bit older during my second pregnancy. 37 now and haven't got pregnant again (haven't been trying tbf) and actively don't want to now. I haven't got the energy for another round of milk and nappies.

All children think their parents are geriatric no matter what age they are

In London I had mine at 33 and 35. I was classed as a geriatric mother for the second one and that's pretty standard, I believe.

The only women I've ever really known who've had babies in their 40s, especially mid to late 40s, later turned out to be the child's grandmother. The child thought they had a sister who was 15-18 years older or so, and the woman they'd always known as 'mother' turned out to be the child's grandma. (And the 'sister' was the birth mother.)

On the rare occasion I see a woman in her 40s, with a toddler, and she says she's the mother, I always wonder if her school age/teen daughter had a baby and she's raising it. I don't think I have actually EVER seen a pregnant woman in her 40s. (or older!)

My first sentence should read...

'The only women I've ever really known who've ALLEGEDLY had babies in their 40s, especially mid to late' 40s...'

36 is old to have a baby and carries added risks.

It’s completely normal where I live, if not young. I had my first at 33, second at 36, and I’d say 32-38 is our “normal” for having a first child, never mind a third.

It’s more commonplace for wealthier people to know people who conceived at older ages. I know so many people who had first babies between 39-46 (me included) and most of them were natural conceptions and first month ttc babies. But it’s probably because wealth and health go hand in hand and if they don’t, then like me, you can afford to buy in help.

I don't know anyone in their forties who had a natural conception, although I know a few mothers of this age.

I know someone who did at 50. I'm sure it's not so common, though there did used to be the concept of 'change of life babies' where a woman thought she was through the menopause only to find herself pregnant.

To me, 36 isn't young to have a baby but plenty of people do it.

You were. People having their babies then aren't. They're completely normal.

I know this was aimed at but stasticially it's true if Im lucky and pass away at 84 which is the current life expectancy. My DD will be 64 almost at retirement age herself. If your mum had you at 40 you would only have been 12 when she passed away. I'm saying personally I see it as a benefit. Neithers wrong or right actually I'm wondering whether to TTC in a couple of years and I'll be 31 so a huge gap!!!

young: less than 25
normal: 25-35
older: 35+

Or according to statistics, for FIRST babies
under 23: very early
23-28: slight below average
28-33: average
34-38: slight above average
38-43: above average
43+ unusual

Obviously second and third babies usually come later because there is usually a gap. But even with a minimal gap, the OP's situation would not make her an "old mum" when the age of the average first time mother is 31.

Well, given the average age to become a mother the first time is 31, it seems your views are an outlier.

Women want to be educated, to develop careers, to have their own financial security to that they can provide for their children if bad things happen. So naturally many do not even get married let alone decide to have children until they are in their 30s. It's completely normal.