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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People calling you ‘love’

201 replies

FerryYaBerryLa · 22/11/2022 16:06

Right so I’m late 30s and I feel like this has started happening recently.

I don’t mind it from people much older, but I’ve noticed people younger in their 20s have started to do it, and to be honest it’s pissing me right off 😆

I find it oddly rude tbh. (I know that’s obviously not the intent). Haven’t fully put my finger on it, but feels like it has a patronising, gendered vibe to it.

I feel like it’s the equivalent of calling any man you meet who is 5+ years older than you ‘fella’ or something. ‘You alright fella!’ – weird.

AIBU?

OP posts:
milkysmum · 22/11/2022 18:30

I call most people love. I absolutely hate 'hun' though...

AuntieJoyce · 22/11/2022 18:30

CarefreeMe · 22/11/2022 17:43

I wince and say 'love? Ouch' or 'love? Wow'. It's rude. It is sarcastic/ patronising and I make it clear the message has been received.

Calm down love.

Grin
WednesdaysChild11 · 22/11/2022 18:30

I mean....fuck 👀

WednesdaysChild11 · 22/11/2022 18:33

I mean ...fuck 👀 @FerryYaBerryLa

Same month as a complete stranger said to me "fuck you're pretty!" So I'm old and pretty now am I 😂

StarDolphins · 22/11/2022 18:34

I like it.

I do t like him, darling or babe(s).

ginandbearit · 22/11/2022 18:36

Well for some of us those terms of endearment and warmth may be the only ones we get all day or week .. It may be formulaic but can make a difference to a lonely person , when I was going through a difficult time and very much alone the 'dears' and 'loves' from shop staff and even the McDonald's drive through people were little touches of warmth .

glamourousindierockandroll · 22/11/2022 18:38

I don't mind it as long as it's used in a friendly tone. Even your own name can sound patronising if said in a horrible way.

slowquickstep · 22/11/2022 18:48

Hen, Duck, Love, Hinnie etc are fine by me. Life is to short to get your arse in a state for being called Luv.

Original poster
FerryYaBerryLa · 22/11/2022 18:56

Piglet89 · 22/11/2022 18:19

I had cause to think about this because my dentist’s receptionist called me “darling” when I was speaking with her over the phone this afternoon. I’m quite scared of the dentist and have had a total nightmare with my teeth in last 5 years (which is still ongoing). I found it quite comforting, TBH. Maybe it depends on context.

I actually don’t mind darling at all!

OP posts:
Beachsidesunset · 22/11/2022 18:59

I live in Cornwall and love being called 'my lover' by everyone, including an elderly Indian consultant in hospital.

Original poster
FerryYaBerryLa · 22/11/2022 19:03

MerryMarigold · 22/11/2022 18:01

Ps. I'm 49 so many people are younger than me! I like it on any age but probably not a smarmy man in a suit or a super cool looking millennial I guess.

I am a millennial 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
FerryYaBerryLa · 22/11/2022 19:05

Beachsidesunset · 22/11/2022 18:59

I live in Cornwall and love being called 'my lover' by everyone, including an elderly Indian consultant in hospital.

Haha love ‘my lover’, that’s awesome

Can’t think it without hearing the accent 😄

OP posts:
ShakeYourFeathers · 22/11/2022 19:17

Very common in Cornwall my lover is also common here

JCoverdale · 22/11/2022 19:23

I love it! Love, duck, hen, hinny, or where I'm from "pet" or "pet lamb".
I went to the docs with my DH who is 6ft 6 with long hair and a beard, and receptionist said "room number 5 pet lamb". I love it. it's British culture. Probably not middle-class culture.

pompomdaisy · 22/11/2022 19:25

They say duck in Nottinghamshire not Yorkshire. Yorkshire we call everybody luv. What's the problem?

JCoverdale · 22/11/2022 19:29

I like the South Yorkshire one I hear in the pit villages "All right Cocker?"

LikeAStar1994 · 22/11/2022 19:31

FleecyBlanketPerson · 22/11/2022 16:13

That's definitely the Yorkshire way 😀
I here pal exchanged a lot.
I miss hearing people being called petal, had a great uncle that said that a lot.

Show quote history

I was called "flower" by a lovely bus driver today.

Original poster
FerryYaBerryLa · 22/11/2022 19:32

pompomdaisy · 22/11/2022 19:25

They say duck in Nottinghamshire not Yorkshire. Yorkshire we call everybody luv. What's the problem?

They say it in Yorkshire too…

OP posts:
rustcohlesmug · 22/11/2022 19:34

Onlyforcake · 22/11/2022 16:21

I wince and say 'love? Ouch' or 'love? Wow'. It's rude. It is sarcastic/ patronising and I make it clear the message has been received.

I think this is really sad. It’s a term of endearment/friendly greeting. Why be so rude?

KirstenBlest · 22/11/2022 19:41

@rustcohlesmug , I don't wish to be addressed with a term of endearment from someone I don't know.

rustcohlesmug · 22/11/2022 19:47

KirstenBlest · 22/11/2022 19:41

@rustcohlesmug , I don't wish to be addressed with a term of endearment from someone I don't know.

Oh lighten up love.

infohere · 22/11/2022 19:54

Chick - here in the West Midlands

Whatalife88 · 22/11/2022 19:57

I don't mind it!

A male colleague at work has started saying 'my love' to me which I'm a bit more meh about...like I'm not your love. Why is he saying that?🤣

SheWoreARaspberryBeret123 · 22/11/2022 19:57

I think you're a bit grumpy love.

PeloFondo · 22/11/2022 19:57

Good girl is infuriating me at work at the minute Angry it's always from men
Duck I don't mind as it's common in the area and every other word is duck, no matter who they're speaking to!