People calling you ‘love’

[FerryYaBerryLa]

Right so I’m late 30s and I feel like this has started happening recently.

I don’t mind it from people much older, but I’ve noticed people younger in their 20s have started to do it, and to be honest it’s pissing me right off 😆

I find it oddly rude tbh. (I know that’s obviously not the intent). Haven’t fully put my finger on it, but feels like it has a patronising, gendered vibe to it.

I feel like it’s the equivalent of calling any man you meet who is 5+ years older than you ‘fella’ or something. ‘You alright fella!’ – weird.

AIBU?

the local standard address where you are and if everyone is addressed that way =YABU

just you called love while men and younger women are called by their names =YANBU

Don’t think it’s the word “love”, it’s how it’s said. Our jolly, kind postman saying “morning, love”, is not the same as a complete dick in a carpet shop announcing “I don’t think you understand, you want bleachable rather than 80/20, love”

Can't stand being called love

I like it. Lancashire lass, and yes I remember 'cock' as well but would never say that!

@FerryYaBerryLa I was just coming on here to say how I hate been called duck 🤣

They all annoy me to be honest, love, duck, hun but when they say duck, I feel like going quack quack 🐤😅

Yeah that’s the point – this is a recent thing, it wasn’t happening a couple of years ago – or at least only from older people.

Gosh I call everyone love or lovely - I'd be mortified if you replied that to me- I don't have any message except that I'm trying to be nice.

I guess I'd know never to use an endearment with you ever again ...

It's not something I take any notice of unless it's deliberately used to be patronising. I'm pretty sure most of us can understand the context. I've lived in 'my lovely' territory for years and sometimes catch myself saying it even though I'm a northerner.

I find that often when people complain about this sort of thing it's either because it was totally inappropriate and patronising (as in an office context) or they don't like the person saying it.

Haven’t RTFT but this happens to me recently at a drive-thru coffee place at motorway services. I’m 48 and the young person serving me kept calling me “my dear” 😂. I was so tempted to say that I’m not a Granny and I don’t want to be addressed that way.

I suppose I do look geriatric to a 18-year-old, for example, but I’d never have dared do this to an older person, it’s so disrespectful. 😡

It really does depend who says it and how. (I'm in Lancashire too).

It’s ‘hen’ where I am. But more for kids maybe, at least I haven’t been called hen in a very long time.

Absolutely this.

In a cheerful, friendly, way - fine.
If it's meant as condescending - not fine.

I'm Northern and I've had it all my life. Its totally normal to me, I like it and don't mind if it's someone younger or older saying it to me. I'd also like it if a man or woman at work or anywhere, gay or straight, called me beautiful etc probably because no one ever does!

People use 'love' and 'pet' quite a lot where I'm from (Belfast) and I really don't mind. It's rarely anything but well meant. If I didn't like it, I certainly wouldn't be rude to someone like one of the posters upthread. There are more pressing issues to get your knickers in a twist over.

As for me, I don't call anyone 'love' except my children - and occasionally other people's children, sometimes deliberately and sometimes by mistake out of habit!

Completely agree!

Hate it. Same goes for duck and hun. Urgh

It's hen or pet where I live

I call pretty much everyone love.

I wince and say 'love? Ouch' or 'love? Wow'. It's rude. It is sarcastic/ patronising and I make it clear the message has been received.

Calm down love.

I adore it. I think it's such a lovely way to address someone. Also love being called dear.

I'm from Yorkshire so used to getting called all sorts - love, cocker, duck, etc.

I love it!

Common as muck in Yorkshire and it wouldn't even cross my mind to be offended by it. I use it daily.

I'm female and call my male colleagues love. Maybe I'm a patronising fucker. Ah well 😁

I like ‘love’. It’s very endearing when the tone is friendly.

Where I’m from, ‘dear’ is used quite a lot. I’ve used it in the UK out of habit, although only with women (I am also a woman). I don’t think anyone has been offended, they’re more likely to smile and be cheerful in response.

I remember the first time I was called madam rather than miss - about your age. Devastating haaa