Would you rather watch a film or talk to your child?

[Member786488]

My dh really pissed me off.

I was chatting with dd 16, who was actually downstairs for once, and we were asked to stop talking so he could finish watching his film.

My thinking is - she’s rarely engaging with us, just quietly pause the fucking film and join in.

He’s thinking - I’ve watched most of this, can’t you both just shut up until it’s done.

I’m right aren’t I?

Please understand that whilst all opinions are interesting, I’ll find those who parent teens more relevant.

nbu - talking is more important

abu - I should have let him watch the film

So you were in the room , talking over the TV? That's really rude IMO.

Yabu.

I have and have had teens and I make him right.

I do get it though, they often spend a lot of time in their rooms so it's nice if/when they come down to chat.

But if he's watching something on TV and doesn't want to stop and join in, that's totally his prerogative and there's nothing wrong with that.

Just go talk somewhere else? If I were watching a film, I wouldn’t pause it because you wanted to have a natter. You seem to think he should stop doing something he’s enjoying because your DD had deigned to grace you both with her company? I think you’re being rude, tbh.

You're being unreasonable. She came down during the film (from what I'm reading?) And you've started a conversation. You could move it into the kitchen.

And also it's important for your DD to understand the world doesn't stop because she's decided to come out of her room.

Different of course if she had a problem she needed to talk to you both about there and then.

No. Talking more important, every time.

YANBU.

Personally I would like to teach my DC that it is rude to expect others to pause a film and talk to them should they enter the room.

Unless an emergency of course.

Don't be silly, it's still very rude.

No-one asked what's more important.

And if the OP thinks talking is important then she can take the convo to the room where someone isn't in the middle of watching a film.

Yes, exactly, she’s actually choosing to chat to us! Some bloody film he’s seen before doesn’t take precedence over that, it’s a very rare occurrence.
Going elsewhere won’t happen - once the spell is broken she’ll be off upstairs.
he knows that.

It's important that teams learn that the world doesn't revolve around them, unless you want them to become entitled adults.

*teens

So, as soon as DD graces you with her presence, all normal business pauses? She must be interacted with as, when and where she chooses lest she bolt like a skittish mare?

That’s a really odd attitude, OP. I’m with your DH on this one.

Good Lord is your DD the messiah or something?

I'm surprised you didn't decorate the lounge with bunting and lay on a cream tea 🙄

If this is real, all this hero worship of your daughter is very very bad for her.

Just chill out and if she doesn't want to talk to you in another room then the conversation wasn't that important to her.

I find it interesting people think it’s rude to talk over the TV/Film.
I find it rude to tell people not to talk in the shared living space, unless everyone has agreed to watch the film. In our house we will be quiet if we are all having a Film night/ all watching a specific programme together, but otherwise if just one person is wanting quiet to watch something they have to go to another room (eg bedroom or spare room) rather than expect everyone else to be quiet.

I can imagine this is the type of thing that varies a lot between family though. What’s normal for one isn’t for another.

OP literally asked what's more important. If my kids, or anyone in my family want to talk then that takes precident over TV. Every time.

You quoted a PP though, not the OP.

Good Lord is your DD the messiah or something?

🤣🤣🤣

but otherwise if just one person is wanting quiet to watch something they have to go to another room (eg bedroom or spare room) rather than expect everyone else to be quiet.

We've only got one TV in the house and it's in the lounge.

If someone was watching a film and others wanted to talk, they'd either do it quietly or move to another room.

Am a parent of teens. Ours wouldn’t expect to talk over a film their dad was actively watching.

What did she want to chat about? Why is it such a rare occurrence she gets the ‘visitor’ treatment?

You said nobody asked whats more important. The OP did.

Parent of 2 teens, YA absolutely NBU. No boring film is better than an unexpected chat with a teen

Soon your DH will be moaning your teen never wants to talk to him, I wonder why?

Best piece of advice I ever got from MN in nearly 20 years was, listen to your kids telling you the little stuff, if you don't they'll never tell you the big stuff.

If someone was watching a film and others wanted to talk, they'd either do it quietly or move to another room.

Is this not just standard polite behaviour? I’d always assumed it was.