To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

And bicycle, scooter etc are the absolute definition of a big proper present. And also many people would argue something that children need

Yes! Books don’t do anything for their development anyway.

@Scrooooooooge Haha, those are two extremes aren’t they? That post was more a reaction to the ones on the thread that are just “Must! Have! Huge! Pile! Of! Things!”

But even the production of “sustainable” stuff still consumes energy and resources, and one only has to go on eBay to see how much stuff already exists, unwanted, in the world already; and there’s a certain tipping point of too much stuff for everyone, even and especially DC – little children get overwhelmed and want to stop opening presents, kids run out of room for stuff in their rooms, etc. Most of us can only actually cope with – in terms of time to use the things, space to store them – a finite amount of “stuff”.

The poem doesn’t have to be a literal prescription, but it’s a useful (albeit naffly expressed) tool to help limit buying, and remind oneself that the goal isn’t “all the things” but “an amount of things that will actually be opened, used and enjoyed”.

I never read this poem to mean you can’t actually buy other gifts or other family etc don’t also buy gifts. I mean come on, you have choices in life just do what you want and let others be different to you if they want!! It’s a simple mechanism to keep Christmas sensible particularly where kids may get lots of gifts or be quite tiny and not care about Christmas! Why do people think Christmas is bad without hundreds of gifts? It can be good with one or twenty gifts. Depends on the gift! It can also be shit irrespective of lots of things to open.

So a LEGO police station, a new bag, a Paw Patrol coat and a picture book.

Sounds good enough to me. I might add in "something to eat" too.

I liked it when mine were small,
Want, whatever toy they'd circled in the argos catalogue,
Need, a water bottle, funky lunch box etc,
Wear, fancy dress outfit ,
Read, boxset of books.
I would often buy multiple things for each category through not limit to 4.
I always put socks, undies, flashy toothbrushes, bubble bath, flannels and plasters in their stockings though 😃

Depends really. For my DC this year, it looks like:

A squishmallow
A new scooter and accessories
Pyjamas
A book I have yet to choose

The Prince and The Art of War
A stunt scooter and accessories
Pyjamas
You Don't Know What War Is (which, granted, is serious subject matter!)

I don't think they'll be unhappy with that!

It's not for me personally, I like to spoil my girls at Christmas, it's only once a year. But each to their own.

And definitely don't manage to stick to one book, for anyone.

The 'need' and 'want' categories illustrated as a Venn diagram in our household are basically a circle. The something to wear fits in there as well, and something to read is also something they want. Not joyless at all, it works well if you keep your loved ones in mind.

God I hate it. It's so faux virtuous.

I have a friend who has always done this, I think it's lovely. She doesn't stick to the 'tradition' I guess, as she doesn't just buy 4 gifts- for example she'll buy a few books not just one, or she'll buy an outfit plus nightwear, underwear, a pair of shoes. Her DD wanted Lego so she got her a few different sets.

Does it have writing on it?

From all the mumsnet threads I have read it seems 7-20 is pretty average.

1-4 although trotted out alot on here with that poem when question pretty much always break down and admit they werent counting a bunch of stuff.

Miserable if you are a child who is used to being over indulged with Xmas Eve boxes, new pjs, elf on the shelf, crazy amounts of presents etc! My DD and DS are delighted with their small gifts and are full of joy over the smallest things.

Does anyone really buy 20 proper presents? Like 20 lego set size presents?

I don't see anything wrong with it personally. As children we got a present from parents , one from santa and then a stocking. We had new pjs Christmas eve and then new clothes Christmas day. We didn't get gifts from family member and were always happy with our lot. The amount some kids get at Christmas looks so overwhelming and most my friends kids don't play with half of it for very long.

Just realised that DD wants a dressing gown (because her nursery BFF has one), she needs a dressing gown (because our house is freezing and I’m loathe to turn the heating on much), she can wear a dressing gown (because obviously), and if I find one with writing on that’s job done. If I can get it second-hand as well I will ascend to Peak Joyless Mumsnet and I assume get some sort of reward, like the recipe for the forever roast chicken.

I never subscribed as my eldest son is autistic and couldn’t care less what he wears as long as it’s soft so clothes aren’t presents in our house.

Books and clothes given freely throughout the year as outgrown / released in the case of Dogman or Wimpy Kid or similar. I wouldn’t have them wait until Christmas for a new coat or pants for example if they need them because that just strikes me as a bit silly unless there’s an underlying financial reason. Eldest also whips through books and needs topping up regularly although I do put them in his stocking.

The rhyme does sound helpful if you don’t have many ideas though, I’ve had years like that and don’t see the point in buying needlessly.

My toddlers don't "need" anything, and they're too young to "want" anything (when asked what he wanted from Santa, my son said a real banana).
I'll still get them lots of presents though! Stuff I think they'll enjoy.

Then consider that the dolly "needs" a pram and buy it for the bloody dolly.

Stop splitting hairs, it's guidelines not a hard and fast rule.

Batshit is thinking that a roomful of presents is essential to a good Christmas.

Also does anyone actually mean that they want their kids to be "spoiled"? So they're a little Veruca Salt?

Indulge, yes. I'd be pretty disappointed if my kids turned out spoiled though.

I’m not splitting hairs, as I’m not sticking to the poem. It isn’t a law, or is it? I am pointing out it is daft. Get your kids what they want. If that happens to be a second hand coat, copy ofDecline and Fall of the Roman Empire, a wooden set of vegetables and a toothbrush, all is well.

But don’t you run out of things to get them if they get lots? And what about other things to maybe do instead of have? A panto? Open air ice skating? A winter lights walk? Do you do these “Christmassy things” as well? Not as presents but just as things to do? This is what I don’t understand. My DC may only get one present from us, but we do other fun Christmas things as well to make it as joyful as we can -and some of these aren’t particularly cheap. The presents are only a small part of it.

I suppose it depends on your interpretation of it and how well you know the recipient.

Growing up we always got some things on our Santa list, clothes, at least one book and practical things like socks, pj's or bedsheets. Christmas never felt miserable.

Also some of the best gifts I have got, even as an adult, were things I needed but either didn't realise or couldn't afford.