To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

A reminder for what?

Deodorant, sanitary towels and spot cream when we were teenagers 😂😂😂

DS last year for Christmas

Want - Starwars Lego set he asked for
Need - a new gaming chair (old one was falling apart)
Wear - new waterproof jacket
Read - a book that we knew he’d enjoy

from me and DH

chocolate, socks, PC game, toiletries came from Santa.

(yes, he is an adult 😆).

He certainly didn’t find it joyless! He also got a sweatshirt from DD (she has her own place and couldn’t get home for Christmas). He doesn’t get anything from anyone else at Christmas.

I don't think it's joyless or soulless, but I do find it very naff. Just give me fifty quid and be done with it.

Not in the same year, bikes will last a growing kid a few years each, while games consoles seem to go for five years between new releases. It might be an expensive "want" and an inexpensive "need". Or the other way round. I don't judge the worth of presents by their price tags, inexpensive presents can give years of fun, home made stuff too - my dad built us engine sheds and stations for our wooden railway, plus he made some fields on pieces of plywood for our farm animals, those things will last generations.

For that matter, they needn't be brand new anyway. We got a PS2 one Christmas which had been bought from our older cousins when they upgraded to an Xbox 360, we had years of fun with that. Bikes were hand-me-downs too, usually from the same branch of the family.

I don't do the poem - I used to, but now settle on 3-7 well thought out presents - this year, Lego is featuring heavily - plus a stocking - crafty bits, chocs, smellies, socks and fruit -and a Santa present that they really want but don't think I'd ever get them.

They won't get much from family, as the few people that want to get them things mostly get them something small (selection box or book picked up cheaply from the supermarket kind of level), and otherwise contribute to subscriptions and annual passes that we enjoy year round.

Both of my children enjoy getting clothes and books as presents, though. A big pile of books is a joy, and most of the year they just come from the library.

Sounds more than enough. Almost all Christmas consumerism is driven by commercial greed. It's a shame so many people cannot discern between love and greed.

A reminder to check whether there is anything in particular the DCs need / want or are reading which would be useful stocking presents. DS loves new socks and is adult size 9 now so I will probably get some of them plus deodorant and nice shower gel as his 'needs'.

He mentioned a D&D dungeon master book - does he still want it - that sort of thing.

Isn't four proper presents actually a lot/ a generous amount.

I don't mean socks and chocolate orange in the stocking stuff.

But four actual presents is quite a lot.

For people who think it's stingy what do you consider a sensible/normal/ decent amount of presents?

It's a nice idea I guess but I would just feel...bleak if my child had 4 presents at Christmas. Although there's many possibilities I guess. It could end up being a nice book, a decent pair of trainers, a laptop for school work and a bike. On the other hand it could be something a book of wordsearches, a pack of socks, a hat and a new pencil case. Dire.

Surely everyone does that anyway though? Nobody is just closing their eyes and buying stuff completely unrelated to their kid.

@Eekle annual passes is such a genius present. I really want a National trust membership and a Merlin pass but when I suggest these to in laws as a gift it’s like I’ve suggested they give the kids a mouldy apple.

Good for you OP. Some families cannot afford to buy new clothes for their kids, and books that are owned rather than libraries are a treat. Good for you that having clothes is run of the mill and joyless. Part of the poem is managing expectations for your kid. If they know that's what the system is, they won't be upset at not getting 5 big toys on Christmas day, they'll expect the one exciting thing they want, a nice book to read, and some practical things. Obviously if you can afford a pram and doll, buy that for your kid.

It's not the number, it's the 3 "I'm not wasting my money on any more toys" presents, plus one toy that I'm not on board with. Again this is for children. My DH got me Grenson boots to wear and I am certainly not complaining.

'Surely everyone does that anyway though? Nobody is just closing their eyes and buying stuff completely unrelated to their kid.'

Probably not. But now I have teenagers, their wants and needs can change rapidly so it is useful just to check in before spending money on something which will turn out to be yesterday's requirement.

I would just feel…bleak if my kids only get 1.5C warming for Christmas. Together, we can really shoot for the moon on this climate crisis thing! How about something plastic, something tat, something they don’t need, a giant pile of crap. It’s for the kids really, isn’t it? 🥰

Some families cannot afford to buy new clothes for their kids, and books that are owned rather than libraries are a treat

And feeling pressured to buy both, plus a book, plus something else really helps with that, doesn’t it?

@Blueeyedgirl21 my mum is getting us National Trust passes this year, and I'm more excited than I would be for any amount of "stuff" she'd get us with the same money.

Took years to get her to come around to this, though during Covid when she couldn't shop around for gifty tat so much she sent us book tokens, which was also amazing.

It’s about balanced gifts and helping teach kids not to be grabby and obsessive over gifts - so can’t see the issue but assume bitterness involved here which sounds much more joyless to me!!!

Well the something you need is joyless if you don’t put any thought into it. Toddler DD needs a new backpack and a new cup.

If I gifted her DH’s 40L backpack from mountain warehouse thats bigger than her - that’s a shit present.
If I buy a bog standard cup - that’s a shit present.
If I found her a backpack with her favourite character on, then it’s a lot more thoughtful. I could even look for a set that had a backpack, lunchbox and cup with her favourite character on. That’s something that she’s going to love and get a lot of use out of.

If you give shit, thoughtless presents without the poem then you’ll still give shit, thoughtless and joyless presents with it. If you put thought into buying presents then it doesn’t matter if there’s 100 presents under the tree or 4 presents.

Isn't it also about how you define need?

Eg a child might need a certain lego set to complete a set.
Or a cricket bat.

Both of those would be things they want and need.

Or maybe the PP doesn't measure success by the acquisition of material possessions.

@stuntbubbles why is it a choice between the miserable poem and the plastic tat?

Yes, I know, some people are ridiculous and go way way overboard with crap. But it is possible to have a planet friendly ish Christmas and get your child more than one thing they want!

Imminently sensible in my eyes and a formula I follow every year

God forbid Christmas not be "sensible".