To think this is the embodiment of miserable fuckers

[Scrooooooooge]

Something they want

something they need

something to wear

something to read

I mean - how bloody joyless is that bloody thing?

You… don’t have to stick to the poem? Consider it joyless all you want, ignore it, literally no one is stopping you!

You can get some things they'd really like in the need or read categories though. If they have favourite characters or animals or something then getting some new pj's or a book about there favourite things isn't necessarily boring. You can make even those categories presents more interesting to them.

I know, I am just offering my unwanted opinion on it as it has permeated the Christmas board on here!

I have never known anyone in real life as sanctimonious about Christmas as that twee little poem is.

She wants a doll
The doll needs a pram
The doll could also have some nice outfits to wear

Then whatever she'll read. Book, comic, annual, text heavy video game (eg Pokemon), something with instructions like Lego, a board game with rules to learn. Lots of scope there.

In my stocking I also got something to eat and something smelly (like bubble bath). I blloody loved it, and didn't know there was a formula until I was grown up.

Well thats massively privilaged... your lucky to have family, many do not.

Not miserable at all. The world is drowning in stuff we don’t need. Everyone should be grateful for any gift

So glue the doll to the pram and then it’s one present. (Or just get both and call it a doll and pram set.)

No kid should have to be grateful that you clothed them and provided the things they NEED, those are responsabilities you signed on for when having kids and to not do that is abuse/neglect.
Something they need, to wear, to read, would typically be something they'd love, rather than the basic version you'd buy if it wasn't a present. Clothes may often be second hand, books from the library otherwise.

Oh the horror of only 4 gifts! Fuck me, some of the posters here seem to be completely lacking (a) awareness we’re in a cost of living crisis and (b) any imagination whatsoever.

Those are such flexible categories, you could get awesome gifts in each category for any budget.

I’m going to use it for my son as I find the choice and volume of things for our children that we’re flooded with by marketing quite overwhelming and the categories will help me focus my gift buying to get something thoughtful without being overwhelmed.

Plus he certainly doesn’t need umpteen presents as much as he needs 4 really thought about things.

Or just get both and call it two presents and forgo the something she needs …

A. It isn't compulsory. No one cares if you don't do it.

B. If you don't have wider family and these are the only four presents your kid will get, don't do it unless they'd like them.

C. If you can afford it, stockings can be completely separate to tree presents. We're broadly following the poem (plus sweets and chocolate) for stockings. We're also doing a tree present each so the stocking presents are a bit of a balance of fun stuff and upgraded day to day necessities.

I think it's a reasonable little thing to go by if you are inclined to spending like a maniac at Christmas for things your children don't want or need and will never get played with and inevitably end up in landfill or the charity shop or on a FB site "unwanted gift".

I can think of many other things to better represent miserable fuckery, including 90% of active conversations on Mumsnet right at this very minute.

I’m not sure this is a gotcha as it makes no sense.

OP could consider the pram and dolly as a single gift. Or buy the pram and suggest a dolly to relatives as a good gift. Or buy both, ignore the poem, and do what she wants. I’m simply reporting that at the time of buying my kid a toy pram, which she asked for, I didn’t also buy her a dolly. She’s had no shortage of fun. She strapped a potato in there once, inside a sock. (This isn’t a “in my day children swept chimneys and played with potatoes and were content” thing. She’s got a dolly now. She’ll still take a potato for a stroll, though.)

In my family Granny would buy the doll pram, Grandad the doll, Aunty the doll high chair, other Grandparents a doll crib, uncle 1 would buy a whole heap of doll accessories and a tin of chocolates and uncle 2 would buy a random noisy plastic thing because that’s what he does every year, friends would buy her assorted other stuff and I’d be left having no idea what to get her. But she’d get more than one present, even though only one would come from her parents. And she’d be delighted.

Fairly bloody obviously though families differ - if she only got presents from her parents we’d buy her more!

This. Zero imagination.

Although from this thread I’ve learned that people don’t actually use it to limit the number of gifts, or how much money they spend. Or if they do, it’s because they know that ‘family and friends’ will bulk out the four anyway. So it’s performative.

@PoTayToes80 both my kids will have two presents from me plus a stocking.

Neither would want to open a present to find clothes or books to be honest.

Privileged compared to some, yes. I'd say you'd be privileged if you could buy more than four presents on your own too.

I’ve never heard of that poem/saying before. I don’t think it’s joyless or miserable, though. I quite like it. Something to eat, read and need are also likely to be something you want as well.

Hands up who remembers getting a tube of toothpaste in their Christmas Stocking, just to fill it up 😂

I think of it as a reminder rather than performative.

@Scrooooooooge I do buy little cheapy books when I see them and think they’re cute or nice, or colouring / sticker books (normally in B&M bargains or elsewhere!) but no I wouldn’t go to Waterstones and drop £50 on kids books just because my kids wanted them , they love reading but we can’t afford that. Some people might be able to, great. Also it’s storing them all! We use a library, it’s a much better way of accessing all the books you want. Then birthdays, Christmas and ‘treats’ for doing well at school or being good or whatever, can be a special trip for a book or two at the book shop, usually with a coffee and cake. Even if you’re a millionaire surely the special - ness and fun is taken out of anything if you can just go and buy it whenever the child wants. And you end up with Verucca Salt types surely.

No, never, but we always got a new toothbrush.