AIBU to think that I wouldn’t put my house on the market until I find something that I want to buy?

[Justanotherdaytoday]

As per title, AIBU to think that if I’m looking for a certain kind of house, that until I see that I wouldn’t try and sell mine? So, I’ve been looking on Rightmove every day for the last five months. Got really excited a couple of months back when I saw a house that I liked, had a viewing with a MIP in place, as requested, but it wasn’t the house for me. Straightforward though, lovely EA, no issues. A few days ago a house came up that I really liked the look of. It’s an absolute mess and would need completely gutting ie not at all liveable for at least a few months. Viewing yesterday and I love it. It’s the result of an estate inheritance and would take at least £40k to bring it up to a liveable standard. Huge gardens, drive, new roof but everything else is awful but has huge potential. Rang EA soon after viewing to be told they’d only let me see the property because I’d been ‘tagged onto the end of the previous viewing’. Asked for a second viewing with view to making an offer immediately after and have been told I can’t make an offer until my house is on the market! They won’t even give me an idea of how much the vendor may accept. So they basically want me to put my house on the market, sign a contract with them for this, pay the fee and then I may have any offer rejected. My house is nearly at the end of complete kitchen reno, new boiler, rads, roof etc First tine buyer size and price. I’m confident it would sell hopefully within weeks. I completely understand the uncertainty from the point of the vendor but the EA was just so rude! Put down my recent valuation by another EA, when I said that it may be too late by the time they advertised my property later next week and that the one I like may be gone was basically told too bad! I just don’t see how it’s true that I put my house on and potentially sell it for my buyer to be waiting months for me to find something I like? I’m just quite put out by their attitude, they are known for this locally though, and feel really disheartened. I’ve fallen in love with the house and just feel the EA is being completely unreasonable not even broaching an offer with the vendor so I know if it would be something they would consider. Unfortunately I’m not in a position to place my house up for the sake of it, I’m a single parent with nowhere else to live should my house go quickly. So, experiences please, is this normal?!!

Yes, it’s normal

YABU, houses move quickly (well, they did before Truss fucked everything up!) so EAs often say this.

That does seem to be the normal way now. You need to be a "proceedable buyer" to put offers in. But you wouldn't need to complete on your sale until you've found a house and therefore csn move into it if thst makes sense. Just because you've put your house on market and accepted doesn't mean you have to move out before you found a house. You'll get pressure put on you though.

This is how it works. You’re not considered a serious buyer unless you have someone lined up.

It’s the norm where I am that your house needs to be under offer in order to view, ie you need to be proceedable. However, the EA should put your offer forward, I think they’re obliged to by law. The vendor may not take it seriously until you’re under offer though.

If you sell quickly and can’t find something, then I’d just assume you’d pull the sale and stay put!

Yes, most EAs will not accept an offer unless your house is on the market. You don’t have to sell it through the same agent though, nor do you have to accept an offer or sell it straight away if you haven’t found somewhere to buy. You can accept an offer conditional on the buyer waiting for you to find somewhere.

Erm completely normal. You are not a serious buyer until you have sold.

I don't think you're unreasonable, but it seems to be expected in many places.

I find it unreasonable that people genuinely expect other people put their on the market on the off chance something becomes available within a year of being open to moving, or that they'll uproot their family (probably into rental) in order to sell to someone so they can buy a house that may or may not be on the market in several months time, and prices could have risen considerably in that time.

If you accept an offer on yours you don't have to move out until you've found something. You become part of the chain. Its how it works now.

Completely normal for them to expect your house to be on the market, some estate agents won’t let you view properties unless yours is listed.

But you don’t have to pay any kind of fee to have your house listed by an estate agent, and you don’t have to go with the same estate agent the house you’re offering on is with.

They only get a fee once the sale is completed.

Thank you everyone, really helpful replies. Maybe IABU. In our local area for the size house we need in a better state, I’d be looking at a price that’s unaffordable for me. With this I could do it over time, hence why I’ve not seen anything that I like in my search so far. All I want is an idea of what would be considered and if it’s in achievable then no problem but it means I wouldn’t be wasting any buyers time either…

We have just sold our house. We instructed our estate agents that all viewers needed to be proceedable as we had a timeline to stick to and we didn't want to be caught in a chain. It is how things are normally done around here now. That you didn't know that will have suggested to the EA that you're not really serious as a buyer.

Exactly my point! I can’t uproot my family into a rental etc unless I know that we have something lined up. I just don’t want to accept an offer and then make the poor buyer wait maybe a year! It’s unfair

I think house buying has changed. When we thought about buying we weren't even allowed to view some houses unless our current house was at least on the market! We only wanted to sell if we found the perfect house first so ended ho staying put

I didn’t know that no, it’s the first time I’ve ever sold and honestly I’m completely in the dark and as a single mum probably a little out of my depth!

Are you still in that house or did you eventually find somewhere?

We didn't put our house on the market and gave up. We like a lot about our house we just wanted a bit more space really but have decided we'll cope now until our remortgage is up

To be fair, it means nothing. We agreed to buy because our sellers had a house lined up but they still pulled out of that one for a different one.

Yanbu it’s stupid. Saw quite a few houses but no one would accept an offer. In the end put the house on the market. My house did sell in 3 days from having an ea round to first visit. Then became really stressful trying to find something. Thankfully my buyer waited around. For 5 months! And a property did come up that I loved.

I do love it. But I don’t think it’s what we would have gone for if we weren’t under such pressure.

They should do it the other way round. The higher up the chain you are the longer it’s likely to you will need to look. Stupid system.

I'm honestly shocked you think that you'd view a house and offer without having yours on the market or sold. Unless you're not planning to sell yours to fund the purchase, any estate agent or seller with any sense would quite rightly laugh at you for putting an offer in.

At the very least i'd expect you to have an estate agent lined up, having had valuations and negotiated rates etc. Everyone assumes their house will sell in days/weeks/minutes but it isn't always the case. Remember a seller doesnt care less about you, your plans wants or whatever. They care about cold hard cash and will go with a purchaser who can pay it ASAP. You cant offer that at all at the moment. As a buyer you're not very appealing. Sort your sale out and then look.

And your not supposed to just uproot your family. Your supposed to keep the buyers hanging and then wait for them to pull out and remarket.

So basically if you want to be proceedable and spend a year or more looking then you need to be ‘sold’ permanently wasting other people’s time. Doesn’t seem fair but it’s apparently the right way.

Generally this seems the norm however we are in a similar situation OP and are very reluctant to put ours up for sale as it's very unlikely we'll find our next house within a sensible timeframe. We are looking in specific area and we see one or two a year come on that would suit us.

Funnily enough we offered on a house this week, it's been on 2 months and vacant. The agent/vendor were very receptive and happy to give us a period to sell ours (we offered the agents the business subject to terms). They've not accepted yet however I'm hoping as time ticks we may be able to do a deal. This is around the 1M price bracket however it shows there can be flexibility but really does depend on the sellers position.

Where I live in Scotland things are a bit different to most of the people who have replied. Here it is totally normal to get your house to a saleable state and then wait to put it on the market after you've had an offer accepted on the house you are going to buy. Houses here are stilling selling within a week of going on the market at most so it would be bonkers to sell your house and then start looking!

Exactly my point! I can’t uproot my family into a rental etc unless I know that we have something lined up. I just don’t want to accept an offer and then make the poor buyer wait maybe a year! It’s unfair

Are you willing to make an offer and then make the poor seller wait for your place to be marketed and sold?

Well yes, it would speed things up certainly. Unless you live in something highly unusual it’s likely you can sell quicker than you can find somewhere.