AIBU to think that I wouldn’t put my house on the market until I find something that I want to buy?

[Justanotherdaytoday]

As per title, AIBU to think that if I’m looking for a certain kind of house, that until I see that I wouldn’t try and sell mine? So, I’ve been looking on Rightmove every day for the last five months. Got really excited a couple of months back when I saw a house that I liked, had a viewing with a MIP in place, as requested, but it wasn’t the house for me. Straightforward though, lovely EA, no issues. A few days ago a house came up that I really liked the look of. It’s an absolute mess and would need completely gutting ie not at all liveable for at least a few months. Viewing yesterday and I love it. It’s the result of an estate inheritance and would take at least £40k to bring it up to a liveable standard. Huge gardens, drive, new roof but everything else is awful but has huge potential. Rang EA soon after viewing to be told they’d only let me see the property because I’d been ‘tagged onto the end of the previous viewing’. Asked for a second viewing with view to making an offer immediately after and have been told I can’t make an offer until my house is on the market! They won’t even give me an idea of how much the vendor may accept. So they basically want me to put my house on the market, sign a contract with them for this, pay the fee and then I may have any offer rejected. My house is nearly at the end of complete kitchen reno, new boiler, rads, roof etc First tine buyer size and price. I’m confident it would sell hopefully within weeks. I completely understand the uncertainty from the point of the vendor but the EA was just so rude! Put down my recent valuation by another EA, when I said that it may be too late by the time they advertised my property later next week and that the one I like may be gone was basically told too bad! I just don’t see how it’s true that I put my house on and potentially sell it for my buyer to be waiting months for me to find something I like? I’m just quite put out by their attitude, they are known for this locally though, and feel really disheartened. I’ve fallen in love with the house and just feel the EA is being completely unreasonable not even broaching an offer with the vendor so I know if it would be something they would consider. Unfortunately I’m not in a position to place my house up for the sake of it, I’m a single parent with nowhere else to live should my house go quickly. So, experiences please, is this normal?!!

Totally normal OP. We did find it a little frustrating when we house hunted 2 years ago, as like you we were under no real pressure to move and only wanted to go through the stress of moving for 'something special'. Then as soon as we listed our house we understood. So many people were 'hobby viewers' who didn't have a real intention of offering, which nearly killed me when I'd spend hours each time cleaning a house before a viewing with two young kids to manage. We learnt quickly and put a boundary in place that we didn't want people viewing ours unless they were proceedable (so not even just on the market!)

Thanks for everyone’s input, I could spend all night replying! I am 99.9% confident that my house would sell within a fortnight max. I know the area well and I’ve observed the market for years. I’m not an EA but understand housing situations due to my career. My vendor wouldn’t be waiting months for me to sell. I’ve had a valuation which I stated to the EA and have recently, 6 weeks ago, applied for a MIP, hopefully all things that demonstrate that I would be serious. I’m not in it to play a game but feel that this is what it could become. It’s a mess really!

Have they accepted your offer? I hope you come to something as it would be a real shame for you otherwise!

Wishing you luck OP.

If you miss out then you should just start playing their game. Make sure the contract is only fees on a sale and it only wastes the EAs time if it falls through. Sell and do not be pressured! Just continue looking as you are now. If you have to remarket and remarket then so be it. Well sadly wastes the buyers time also but apparently what the people want so 🤷‍♀️

I'm surprised by this too, OP.

I think it depends on area. I'm up north and I don't recognise any of this at all.

I also don't think this is the norm in Scotland. I'm not too familiar with the process up there but I believe it is infinitely better than the English system.

Not always.My nephew sold his house early July on day one and had offer accepted on new place a week later he wasn't allowed to view until he had an offer on his. Still waiting in a long chain as those at the top can't find anywhere don't know whether they had somewhere and it's fallen through. His first time buyers' mortgage offer expires in January and his in February. All paperwork is ready but Agents told him unlikely to be sorted by Christmas. Top of the chain won't move out (I wouldn't - you could end up in rented indefinitely) so everything's on hold.

It's not normal round here. In fact an EA recently told me that they are legally obliged to put forward all offers as it's the home owners choice whether to accept, not the EA. It's quite common round here for a homeowner to say something like "we accept your offer Subject to your house being under offer by X date (and they may or may not agree to keep having viewings)"

I don't like it, but it's normal.
We sold two houses to buy one when we married. The first was SSTC. The other wasn't on the market yet. We found a house we loved and put in an offer £10k over the asking price as bait because we were considered to be in a weak position. The estate agent used our offer to get a higher offer from someone else, so we missed out.

How times change, in my previous house I had no intention of moving but a lovely house caught my eye that was for sale so I made an appointment to view decided I wanted it, then instructed my agent and had accepted an offer on my house within 48 hours of it going on the market. I understand people don’t want time wasters but I do think it’s quite short sighted of agents not allowing viewings unless under offer, there must be so many people who don’t want to put their house up for sale unless they have found a house first, it never used to be normal to have to have sold before even being allowed to view, mind you in a falling market this may change.

It's not even being on the market. You should have an offer in principle. Otherwise you don't have the money and may not even get the money which is a colossal waste of everyone's time.

19 years ago, I accepted an offer before I started seriously looking. 20 years ago, mine was on the market before I looked.

It's always been this way.

Why would anyone accept an offer from you when you don't have the money to buy what they're selling?

I think you are wasting everyone's time if you are not prepared to put your house on the market.

You can't just expect the seller to wait for you forever.

No one is going to take your offer seriously in the current market.

seems to be an issue with the English system of chains. Your offer to buy should be that and that alone and binding - whether you cover that at the time by processed of sale or a bridging loan is your problem but either way you are legally obliged to settle up. Your own sale is a problem for you and of no concern to anyone else.

When it comes to getting a viewing how are they going to verify anything you tell them or don't tell them about yourself? Tell them what they need to hear to let you view - lie to them.

We didn’t have viewers unless they were fully proceedable. I’m wasn’t cleaning up for Joe Bloggs to nosey round my house! I definitely wouldn’t accept an offer from a non- proceedable buyer in this financial climate, I’d be asking for proof of a very current mortgage in principle! A lot has changed in this past 6 weeks!

I did exactly what you are suggesting. Like you, the house was in the same area and I knew the market really well. I was waiting for years for the right house to come up and when it did, I called the agent and said I really want this house, if you help me get it, you can sell mine as well. If you are ready to go on the market, it is in the agent’s interest to get 2 sales instead of one. We were only 2 weeks behind the vendors. We did a day of viewings and accepted an offer a week later.
Our buyers did the same as us, they weren’t on the market either but we knew it would sell on viewing day. The agent got 3 sales out of it instead of 1 and kept the chain together.
If you are confident your house will sell quickly and you have your AIP ready then not having sold it already can be an advantage if there is a shortage.
My friend did it the same way round as me after selling hers then having to pull out because she couldn’t find anywhere to buy.
Offer the agent your house to sell and see what they say. Unless the vendors are adamant or have other offers then they should go for it. Good luck

After experiencing the property market in a country that doesn’t do the whole chain thing, when we sold in the UK we wouldn’t allow viewings to anyone with a chain at all. (When we were buying we found the fact we didn’t have a chain was a big advantage and made our offer much more attractive, so it wasn’t just us.)

My house is newly for sale and I've already told the EA I don't want anyone viewing unless they are on market with theirs or cash buyers. Too many time wasters out there and nosey bastards ( not that I'm saying you are ) but I've been stung before. Standard procedure where I am.

Yeah don't try and sell a 7yr old retirement apartment. They all want the shiny new ones full of hope and delusional old people laughing in armchairs like in the pictures. Get real. They're fleecing you. Buy my parents super bargain apartment. Please. Buy it.

Er…..run that past me again.

Also Scotland and this is what we did. Like you, we only wanted to sell for the right house so waited until we had an offer accepted. Our house sold within a week of being on the market and we were in the new house within three months.

It didn't used to be that way but for the few years it seems to be required to be "proceedable" even to view in many cases, but certainly to offer.

We managed to do it without having our house on the market first last year but in quite unusual circumstances. We had already tried the sell first and then find something route, but couldn't find a suitable property so the chain collapsed. That meant we had photos and epc already done. But the key really was that we could have bought without selling if we needed to and got an in principle agreement to demonstrate that. In the end, our old house sold in a few days, as we expected it to.

I don’t think yabu but that is how it is done now. I had to have had an offer accepted on my house to see others. That was in lockdown so I thought it was a way of reducing risk. In the end I had to pull out of the sale because I genuinely could not find anything suitable.

Where we are looking to move to the properties are only (or were?) On the market for a number of days. If you want to buy one you need to generally be a cash buyer.

We have our London flat for sale, plan to sell, have cash in the bank and rent in the area we want to buy, then pounce when the right property comes along.

Friends in Surrey sold about 6 months ago and they told the estate agent to only show cash buyers around as they didn't want any chains or messing about.

My friend got an EA in to value her flat, sort photos etc so that when she found the house she wanted, they just had to hit the button to go live on her flat sale, which saved alot of time. It all worked out ok.
Scotland again though - the English system seems unnecessarily stressful to me but maybe being ready to go with your own sale would help show you are a serious buyer?

You have to put your house on the market if you want to be taken seriously by any house owner. For all they know, you could be a time waster or your own property could take 6 months to sell.
Once you have a buyer, you will be in a good position when making offers but at the moment you aren’t.

This is what has happened to us. We last moved six years ago, and I encountered just one EA who wouldn’t let us view before we had an offer. While we had an offer accepted on our current place before our old house was put on the market. Now this palaver is the norm and we just can’t be bothered. Obviously works for people who need to move or are looking for something that is plentiful, but I imagine lots of houses aren’t being sold at all because of it. I’m picky and there’s a huge chance the timing won’t line up.