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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that I wouldn’t put my house on the market until I find something that I want to buy?

74 replies

Justanotherdaytoday · 18/11/2022 21:59

As per title, AIBU to think that if I’m looking for a certain kind of house, that until I see that I wouldn’t try and sell mine? So, I’ve been looking on Rightmove every day for the last five months. Got really excited a couple of months back when I saw a house that I liked, had a viewing with a MIP in place, as requested, but it wasn’t the house for me. Straightforward though, lovely EA, no issues. A few days ago a house came up that I really liked the look of. It’s an absolute mess and would need completely gutting ie not at all liveable for at least a few months. Viewing yesterday and I love it. It’s the result of an estate inheritance and would take at least £40k to bring it up to a liveable standard. Huge gardens, drive, new roof but everything else is awful but has huge potential. Rang EA soon after viewing to be told they’d only let me see the property because I’d been ‘tagged onto the end of the previous viewing’. Asked for a second viewing with view to making an offer immediately after and have been told I can’t make an offer until my house is on the market! They won’t even give me an idea of how much the vendor may accept. So they basically want me to put my house on the market, sign a contract with them for this, pay the fee and then I may have any offer rejected. My house is nearly at the end of complete kitchen reno, new boiler, rads, roof etc First tine buyer size and price. I’m confident it would sell hopefully within weeks. I completely understand the uncertainty from the point of the vendor but the EA was just so rude! Put down my recent valuation by another EA, when I said that it may be too late by the time they advertised my property later next week and that the one I like may be gone was basically told too bad! I just don’t see how it’s true that I put my house on and potentially sell it for my buyer to be waiting months for me to find something I like? I’m just quite put out by their attitude, they are known for this locally though, and feel really disheartened. I’ve fallen in love with the house and just feel the EA is being completely unreasonable not even broaching an offer with the vendor so I know if it would be something they would consider. Unfortunately I’m not in a position to place my house up for the sake of it, I’m a single parent with nowhere else to live should my house go quickly. So, experiences please, is this normal?!!

OP posts:

MrsDooDaa · 19/11/2022 05:22

It's business. At the moment the market doesn't need to accommodate non serious buyers, so its a waste of EA and sellers time if you havent sold. That might change in the next few years though.

Also, to look at it another way...

When you do put your own house on the market and if you get 2 offers, one who has sold and one who does not even have their house on the market, which are you going to pick?

Robin233 · 19/11/2022 05:31

Being buying houses (including parents ) since 1979.
It's always been pointless accepting an offer from someone who has not sold their property- unless they are first time buyers.
So the drill is:
See a house you like.
Put own house on market.
Sell own house.
Put in offer on house you like.
My dh wouldn't even look at houses until we had sold.
I had to go round viewing on my own.
And as lone woman viewing on my own - no one took me seriously.
However we did lose our 'chosen' house once. It sold and we hadn't.
So took house off the market - fir a month.
Had a rethink. Put house back on market, with a different estate agent.
Revisited some of the houses previously dismissed.
Ended up buying one of those.
So glad we did.
Much better house twice over than the one we lost.

MrsToothyBitch · 19/11/2022 05:38

I know what you mean OP but if I was selling, I'd want assurances you were ready to buy as I need to cover my own ass to move - I rather need your money!

Also, for perspective, one of my friends recently had an offer accepted whilst hers is on the market but with no offers herself. Her vendor is happy to wait but she's still finding it very stressful as she doesn't want to lose her potential new place but needs to shift hers.

Thehonestbadger · 19/11/2022 05:46

We are completing on a new house next week and this was a nightmare for us. It’s such a shit process. We listed ours in august and were confident it would sell very quickly. We live in a very sought after village where only 1 or two houses may come on the market every year. There’s always loads of interest especially for large 4+Bed detached family homes and local Estate agents take waiting lists of people targeting our village.
Now we were looking at two areas to buy in, one nearby and popular the other further away and less popular. In the less popular area we were allowed to view no problem but around here we were not taken seriously until our house had sold, not just on the market SOLD

The issue is that from a buyers prospective it’s preposterous BUT from a sellers prospective it makes absolute and total sense. When we were holding open days for our house our EA would ring me with people who were after slots, we had about 20 people within an hour no joke and would tell me their situation. There were so many cash, living in rented ready to go, already sold…etc that we filled the first weekend entirely on a ‘SOLD/CASH’ only basis and we’re keeping everyone who either had their house on the market or still had to list it on a separate back up list to let them look around at a later date IF we didn’t sell it that first weekend. We sold it the first weekend, had 3 offers from people in fab ready to go situations within the first day.
I know some people who were ‘desperate’ to live in the village were really annoyed they never got to see the house, we had neighbours knocking to tell us friends of their could secure a viewing but seriously why would we bother dragging ourselves and two toddlers out for the day to let people poke around who could only make us an offer in essentially Monopoly money and it would come with a load of uncertainty and a long wait for them to sell theirs? You have to understand as a buyer it’s not just about the figure you’re willing to offer it’s about the strength of your position and how quick the sale can be completed. Even if they’d offered 100k+ over asking we weren’t going to take the risk or wait around we needed to move fast for work so we wanted someone cash and ready to go.

boonboon · 19/11/2022 06:08

When we bought our current house we didn't have our old house on the market. We did apply for a buy to let mortgage on the old house which enabled us to proceed and our offer was accepted. We then put our house on the market and it sold within a week so we didn't need to use the buy to let mortgage.

tartancushions · 19/11/2022 06:11

Where I live you can't even view a place unless your house is already on the market.

MadelineUsher · 19/11/2022 06:17

Well, they are ready to sell. They don't want to wait around until someone who hasn't even put their house on the market maybe sells it and maybe concludes the sale, before they carry on with their lives.

Lopilo · 19/11/2022 06:20

No one will accept an offer from you if your house isn’t even on the market. Even if someone was foolish enough to think about accepting, their estate agent would advise them against it. That is why the estate agent is not interested in you.

AlwaysGinPlease · 19/11/2022 06:33

We have just sold. I wouldn't even let anyone view it that didn't at the very least have theirs on the market.

Jjones8 · 19/11/2022 06:40

It’s standard to expect your house to be under offer before any offer accepted on an onwards purchase.

Christmaslover2022 · 19/11/2022 06:45

Yes, that's the normal procedure. We've done this twice now and it's been the same. When we moved 1 year ago they wouldn't let us view or make an offer until sold!

RFPO77 · 19/11/2022 06:53

They can't accept your offer until you can prove you can fund it, especially in the current market. Don't assume your house will sell quickly, we have a lovely house in a very desirable area and it still took 2 months to sell 🤷

Inapicklee · 19/11/2022 07:00

We were in a similar position - looking for a very niche property with a limited budget for that type of property.

We were able to view and offer although our vendor wouldn’t formally accept until our house was sold. We did up our offer by 5k and negotiated a grace period of 2 weeks as we were confident our house would sell. It did and our offer has been formally accepted.

However, because we are looking for a niche property, it had been on the market a while and already reduced. I’d imagine it would be different if there was a lot of interest from proceedable buyers.

tattychicken · 19/11/2022 07:08

Very normal where we are in the SE. Have bought and sold a few times over the last 25 years. Each time we accepted an offer on our place first before even viewing other properties, and would only let people view our property if they were under offer themselves and proceedable.
Once an offer is accepted, you want to crack on with surveys/searches etc. Even if you do sell in 2 weeks, why do you expect your vendor to suck up that time delay? And how can you negotiate on price if you don't know how quickly you can complete?
So yes, put yours on the market, see what happens. Hopefully you are right and it will sell soon, and the house you love will still be there. If not, you might find something else or you can take it off the market. Yes, it's stressful, but it's quite normal.

Joystir59 · 19/11/2022 07:17

When we sold our house we only allowed proceedable viewers. We were also not allowed to offer on any properties until we were sold subject to contract

CastleCrasher · 19/11/2022 07:19

Definitely normal as others have said. If the house you want to buy is going to take £40k before it's liveable in, are you not going to have to rent for a while anyway though?

mycatisannoying · 19/11/2022 07:19

YABU. It's so disheartening for sellers when someone comes along whose property isn't even on the market yet.

usernamenotaccepted · 19/11/2022 07:28

I wouldn't let anyone view my house unless they are a proceedable buyer and can demonstrate that. Anyone can do an online tour though. My estate agent has this as standard practice.

Ihavedogs · 19/11/2022 07:36

It’s up to the house owner as to what stipulations they but on prospective buyers. If you have a mortgage offer in principle you will be in a stronger position even if you have not yet put your property on the market. DD had two viewings of a property, made an offer before her property was put up for sale. As soon as the offer was made, she had hers on the market before the week was out and it sold on the first day. However, she had already engaged well with the local independent estate agent and was open and honest in all of her discussions. She moved into the property a couple of weeks ago.

Passanotherjaffacake · 19/11/2022 07:48

We were looking this time last year to sell our ftb type house and move to our family home. We saw the house we bought before ours was on the market but explained we were very close to getting ours on the market (like you just finishing a renovation) so we offered and they agreed a standstill where no-one else saw the house until we had ours on the market. Our old house went in ten days and then the sellers accepted our offer.

I was very upfront about our situation and told the estate agents that we would place our house with whichever agent had the house we bought from (so they would be in control of the sale and get both commissions). This worked for all the local agents and we didn’t find viewings a problem at all. the agents were happy to put us forward as serious.

This was last year though and stuff was going so quickly agents were desperate for houses to sell.

FlamingBells · 19/11/2022 07:54

Justanotherdaytoday · 18/11/2022 22:36

Thanks for everyone’s input, I could spend all night replying! I am 99.9% confident that my house would sell within a fortnight max. I know the area well and I’ve observed the market for years. I’m not an EA but understand housing situations due to my career. My vendor wouldn’t be waiting months for me to sell. I’ve had a valuation which I stated to the EA and have recently, 6 weeks ago, applied for a MIP, hopefully all things that demonstrate that I would be serious. I’m not in it to play a game but feel that this is what it could become. It’s a mess really!

You need to factor in time it takes for all the searches after an offer is accepted. If you're buying and selling at the same time, then that can take several months. So you won't be uprooting your family as soon as you've sold & remember the people in the chain do the same. So that's what takes time, my chain took 6 months to complete & then before exchange my buyer pulled out in early Sept.

Get your house valued & on the market & inform your EA that you'll accept only proceed able buyers.

Which guide to selling houses

Which guide to buying houses

Astrabees · 19/11/2022 08:26

When we found our dream house advertised we had two houses to sell, neither on the market. We managed to secure a viewing but the agent clearly viewed us as time wasters. We sold the house we lived in the very next day - our neighbour came round and offered to buy it to make her house bigger. The second house was sold by auction (inherited renovation project ) so they knew the timescale on that and were content to work around it. It is never a good idea to have hard and fast rules. When we downsize in a couple of years I suspect we will sell and move into rental, I don’t think I could cope with a long chain.

cyclamenqueen · 19/11/2022 08:56

we were the top of a longish chain and pulled out because we couldn’t find anywhere to buy. It would probably have collapsed anyway because peoples mortgage offers were about to expire, but we felt under huge pressure. There is a chronic shortage of rental property around here as well, we know people who have had to move into hotels or are moving from Airbnb to Airbnb , also we are mortgage free and had no interest in spending capital in a rising market on rent. We would have used bridging finance but the problem was not the money but the lack of supply . We had previously been let down on a house we wanted to buy because they couldn’t find anything.

I felt dreadful but there was no way I was leaving my home of 30 years for an itinerant life. The agent said that a lack of somewhere to buy was now the main reasons that chains failed , he said that the focus on ‘proceedable ‘ buyers was squewing the balance of chains and that actually many people who have sold subject to contract are no more ‘ Proceedable’ than a person not yet on the market because mortgage offers expire , surveys on any house in the chain can cause issues , people change their minds etc etc The most important factor is that the buyer is serious about buying that particular house because they will pull out all the stops to do that . He said that this is particularly a problem in the ‘forever home’ bracket because those sellers would rather stay put than risk not getting the right house so causing a shortage of supply.

There has also been a problem around here of people often ‘cash buyers’ making multiple offers on properties and seeing which chain goes faster. Of course eventually one seller will be let down .

CrazyLadie · 06/02/2023 18:05

GlasgowGal82 · 18/11/2022 22:27

Where I live in Scotland things are a bit different to most of the people who have replied. Here it is totally normal to get your house to a saleable state and then wait to put it on the market after you've had an offer accepted on the house you are going to buy. Houses here are stilling selling within a week of going on the market at most so it would be bonkers to sell your house and then start looking!

Yup, I'm in Aberdern and I bought a house at end of last year, it was less 1 week from house on market to acceptance of my offer

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