For those that comfort eat or managed to stop?

[ImHavingACrisis]

I’ve had to name change because this is so embarrassing. I’m also posting here for traffic sorry.

I have two kids under the age of 2 and I’m unbelievably overweight. I’ve stepped on the scales to see I’m now 20 stone 4 pounds and I wear a size 18/20. The thing is, I’m aware of my weight. I started going to the gym three weeks ago and do a mixture of weight training and HIIT. I go three times a week and I’m as consistent as possible.

Here’s the issue. I just don’t know how to stop eating. I have a really unhealthy relationship with food and I comfort eat nearly every day. My youngest has a genetic disorder and was in NICU for 6 weeks. I can’t even tell you the amount of calories I assumed within that time. Since then I’ve been adjusting to having two kids especially one who has complex needs and has physio. I was recently diagnosed with PND and have been put on antidepressants to help with my anxiety.

I’m talking a lot but basically I need help! How, how, how do I stop eating junk food. Stressful/happy things will always occur in life so I really need a different way to deal with things. I don’t smoke, don’t drink and I don’t take drugs so food has always been my go too. Can someone please help? Does anyone have a motivational story on how they stopped eating such unhealthy food or any tips that I can use? I really need to work on my health because this can’t continue.

Start gradually. Replace sugary snacks bit by bit with something high protein/healthier. If you feel yourself caving, try eating something sweet like raisins or grapes. Don't buy the bad stuff so you won't be tempted. Drink more water. Bake some healthier snacks like muffins etc. Brush your teeth after eating (this honestly works!!). Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone cheats and tomorrow is a new day.

After a while you won't crave the bad stuff any more and you will feel amazing!!! Keep going, you got this!!!!!!

There’s an excellent book you should read: Dr Chris Fairburn - Overcoming Binge Eating (2nd edition) He’s been studying EDs since the 1970’s. The book requires you to follow steps - it will take effort and time to work through the steps, taking you (and your brain) away from the continual cycle of bingeing, dieting, feeling guilty, etc. It really does work though.

Good luck

The eating isn't the problem. It's a symptom. A reaction to the trauma you have had/are experiencing.

You need to deal with your underlying emotions (which without knowing your history could be linked to the stressful time after your baby's birth).

I highly recommend listening to Dr Chattergee's podcasts - they have genuinely changed my entire mindset around food/health/life.

No advice but I'm the same OP. Thankfully not overweight (yet) but very unfit and unhealthy which still isn't good, and lots of visceral fat. Having a completely sedentary job doesn't help either.

I have a few points that may help. Also, I just watched some of those episodes of Super Size v Super Skinny and there’s loads of advice on there that may help.

Don’t buy the food in the first place.

Meal plan and allow a couple of filling but healthy snacks between.

drink lots of water. It does help.

calorie counting. An app like Nutracheck might open your eyes to all the rubbish you’re eating and the harm it’s doing to you.

If you can afford it privately - Ozempic. It has been life changing for me, I just don’t feel the need to comfort eat anymore, and I’m over 3 stone down since June. learned about it on mumsnet and I’m so grateful to the posters who shared their experiences with it.

I managed to stop bingeing by eating for 'maximum nutrition' at each meal. So as I was preparing food I deliberately tried to put as many vitamins on the plate as possible. This meant changing what went on the plate. I didn't limit the quantity. 3 meals a day with maximum nutrition meant my cravings for shite disappeared and I lost a stone in 6 weeks by accident. I wasn't trying to lose weight.

I started channelling the emotions into anger and let it out during workouts.
Worked well

Honestly? Therapy. Healthy outlet for emotions and exploring trauma, no need to eat my feelings anymore.

Have apple slices ready and waiting in the fridge. Apple and water.

As soon as you want to snack, start filling up on apple, berries, veggies. Hopefully if you’re full on healthy snacks you won’t fill up on sweets, biscuits or anything else sugary. Make sure you’re drinking enough water too.

Good luck, it will be worth it. You are the only one responsible for what goes into your mouth, but you can do this.

So I think it depends on why you are binge eating...usually there is an emotional tie. So some people eat when they need a distraction, some eat when they feel sad or upset, some eat when they feel lonely or stressed. There's almost always an underlying connection to some sort of trauma and it's about addressing that.

For me as a child my mum never ever let me eat sugary things, so when I started earning pocket money the first thing I bought was chocolate everyday after school, I'd sneak it home and eat it in my room without anyone knowing because my mum had made me feel like eating sweet things was naughty and forbidden so this continued into an unhealthy relationship with food.

I find that putting together little portioned treat bags (calorie controlled) to enjoy at the end of the day when kids are in bed helps. So you have something to look forward, like a reward at end of day.
Snacking on healthy foods during day and don't skip meals which almost certainly always end up with a binge.

Yes this. Plus try and go cold
turkey on your major binge foods - mine were sugar and flour or yours might be some combination of sugar/white flour/ fat. After
the initial 10 days you will be better able to not act out on food and start working on what is driving the comfort eating.

Be totally strict about what you buy and never buy biscuits, choc, cake etc. If offered stuff, always refuse.

Hi I’m very similar and the only thing that works for me is meal prepping. I do my cooking for a week on a Sunday and then portion it out. It doesn’t have to be the same as what the kids are having, but knowing my meals were done and ready to eat made a massive difference. I still slip into the odd bit of comfort eating but it’s much more manageable and have managed to lose 3.5stone. I do exercise now but that came later in my journey. I highly recommend the pinch of nom recipe books as I just pick two things from there each week and that does me.

I'd recommend Overeaters Anonymous . It helped me.
Good luck.

Dont try to be perfect!!
You're going through a very stressful time so yes you want to lose weight but don't be too hard on yourself.
I actually found that dieting, calorie counting made me binge more due to the restrictive aspect and i would always tell myself... I'll start tomorrow. Then I'd mess up and binge again.
So take the pressure of yourself, have 3 good meals and 2 snacks. Also it really helped me to have an almost safety snack in the evening that I could have if I wanted as I'd often binge when i felt like there was nothing else to eat. I also foun
d i eat uncontrollable when i was tired - not easy on your circumstances but get as mych sleep as you can.
Good luck xxx

I love eating in the evening and so when I want to lose weight I skip breakfast or have it later, have a later lunch, have a later dinner and then physically remove myself from the binge zone, which for me is usually the tv and lounge. I go in the bath usually. So I have tea around 8/830pm and then bath until it's too late to est again. I might promise myself a bowl of cereal after the bath in the first few days. That's all I got. One change is a big change.

And when I go a full day without junk I find the second day easier and by day 3 it's not even hard anymore, it's just getting that first day under your belt.

And I cant imagine the stress you have been under, sorry to hear that X

Thank you for all the comments, each post has been so helpful.

I did consider having therapy but then I convinced myself that I don’t really have a binge eating disorder even though I know full well that I do. I think I’ll do the right think and speak to my GP on Monday to see where I can go from here. Unfortunately I can’t afford private therapy so I’ll see if CBT is an option as I’ve had that in the past to help with a traumatic birth.

Meal planning sounds like a great idea. I think when I don’t know what to eat for the day, my immediate thought is to order junk food. I’ll also send DP to the shop to get packs of sweets/chocolate/crisps etc. I’ll even eat until I feel sick and will carry on eating just because the food is there. I’ve tried to stop buying certain foods so they’re not in the house but I need to get DP on board so he doesn’t go to the shop for me either.

When I used to workout a few years ago, I used to calorie count when I was doing a calorie deficit and that really helped. I won’t do that this time round as I think it’ll just stress me out and I’ll put more pressure on myself. However, I do agree that I need to have specific healthier foods that I can snack on.

I’ll definitely try the books that have been recommended and will give a listen to the podcast. Thank you guys

Highly recommend EMDR therapy, worked for me. I had childhood trauma that led to me eating too much and being overweight. EMDR cleared that up, and I have a very different relationship with food now. Much more normal.

CBT could be an option but eating disorder services are so stretched you likely won’t meet the threshold and primary care psychology services wouldn’t directly work on binge eating as they only work with common mental health problems (depression and anxiety disorders) but if you think your current binge eating is a way to cope with your mood or stress they might help you think about triggers for binge eating and try to help you identify healthier coping behaviours but they won’t go in depth into the eating. There’s an Overcoming Binge Eating workbook by Christopher Fairborn that’s basically what you’d have in CBT but you work through it independently. Patients I’ve worked with that haven’t met the threshold for eating disorder services have found it helpful in the past.

Personally the only thing that helps me is Myfitness pal app, tracking my food otherwise I just unconsciously snack and snack and snack. Using the all helps make me more accountable and I scan the snack before I eat it which often deters me when I see how much sugar or calories it has. I wouldn’t recommend it for someone who has a tendency to restrict food though as can become addictive.

I am a stress eater, I've tackled it successfully many times but it always comes back. Just being aware of it is useful, I know the food doesn't make the cause of the stress go away, I'm sure it's similar for you.

I'd say do what you can to tackle the feelings that make you eat, therapy would be helpful here.

Recognise that food doesn't change anything then make a conscious effort to do something else when the feeling strikes - go for a walk, call a friend, brush your teeth, dance to the radio, jump on a rebounder, etc.

Replace the comfort food with something better, even just swapping crisps for toast or a Mars bar for decent chocolate would help. I started doing this, finally managed to get onto apples instead of chocolate digestives.

Do you enjoy the exercise, or at least feel a sense of achievement afterwards? It sounds a bit like punishing yourself to me, but I hate formal exercise. Walking or swimming are probably better for mental health if you're not enjoying it.

I have never been more than a few stone overweight but what works for me is very strict rules. Either low carb or fasting, but eating plenty of calories on either. I find I can lose half a stone in under a month which gives me the motivation to keep going. Calorie restriction would send me the opposite way.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you can be kind to yourself.

I’ve never heard of EDMR therapy so I’ll have a little read into it, thank you so much. I also have childhood trauma which led me to overeat etc so I’m really glad to hear that it worked for you! So happy to hear you have a different relationship with food now as I just couldn’t imagine that

I really found the Brain over Binge podcasts helpful. I listened to them over the course of a year and went back to them again and again. That was the first helpful step to not bingeing. I still over eat when I am sad, but not to the point of being sick.

I also have therapy - I rarely talk about food. But a place for my emotions and learning how to hold them and not numb myself with food has been critical.

I’ve since listened to the book ‘How not to Diet’ and there are lots of podcasts by the author and videos at nutritionfacts.org. I have found this helpful because I’m not longer thinking about my food in a ‘I’m not allowed / this is bad’ mindset but in a ‘what’s the most nutritious thing j can put in my mouth right now’. You could use your exercise regime as inspiration I.e. what’s the best things you can eat to fuel your body for exercise?

I also try to avoid having chocolate and crisps in the house etc as I will eat it all! But I will have cake with friends etc.

I haven’t nailed it. Currently trying to get my weight down after four months of depression saw me eating constantly. I made lots of good choices during that time, but ultimately ate more than I burned.

my final recommendation is compassion. I’ve done a lot of seeking compassion for myself and the choices I make and you should too. You’ve been through a rough time and you’ve been making decisions the best you know how. Now’s the time to try to change what you know.

p.s dieting doesn’t work for me. Or rather is does and then I spiral out and put all the weight back on. It’s taken a loooong time to feel able to delete the calorie app. I was in a perpetual cycle of fastidiously checking what I ate, breaking and eating all the kitkats, hating myself and know that dieting wasn’t the sustained way forward but then hating myself so much that I would try it again. Compassion, health at every size, intuitive eating and the how not diet resources have been helpful in informing this shift in me.