For those that comfort eat or managed to stop?

[ImHavingACrisis]

I’ve had to name change because this is so embarrassing. I’m also posting here for traffic sorry.

I have two kids under the age of 2 and I’m unbelievably overweight. I’ve stepped on the scales to see I’m now 20 stone 4 pounds and I wear a size 18/20. The thing is, I’m aware of my weight. I started going to the gym three weeks ago and do a mixture of weight training and HIIT. I go three times a week and I’m as consistent as possible.

Here’s the issue. I just don’t know how to stop eating. I have a really unhealthy relationship with food and I comfort eat nearly every day. My youngest has a genetic disorder and was in NICU for 6 weeks. I can’t even tell you the amount of calories I assumed within that time. Since then I’ve been adjusting to having two kids especially one who has complex needs and has physio. I was recently diagnosed with PND and have been put on antidepressants to help with my anxiety.

I’m talking a lot but basically I need help! How, how, how do I stop eating junk food. Stressful/happy things will always occur in life so I really need a different way to deal with things. I don’t smoke, don’t drink and I don’t take drugs so food has always been my go too. Can someone please help? Does anyone have a motivational story on how they stopped eating such unhealthy food or any tips that I can use? I really need to work on my health because this can’t continue.

Thank you SO much for the additional comments! I’ll be sitting down and really analysing every comment to look at the suggestions. I’ll be watching all the videos suggested and give all the books a read. I agree that I do have an eating disorder and that’s what needs to be addressed. Appreciate all the helpful comments xx

Whoops name change fail!😂🤦‍♀️

i managed to stop.

I started telling myself the REAL treat would be not to have the cake/biscuit/whole loaf of bread etc. The reward is AFTER. And it’s a feeling of accomplishment. I’ll do something else nice for me non food related like paint my nails. Go out for a walk. Distract myself by jumping DH. Anything that gets me away from the food when the urge is there. And then that turning the reward round to it being that I DIDNT eat it. That worked for me.

I can identify with what @SisterAgatha said. In my case, the reward is the feeling of empowerment that comes with lifting weights. I started working out with dumbbells 2 years ago, and it has been life-changing, both in terms of being motivational and changing my physique. I now have muscles instead of bingo wings, I have a strong core and I can do push-ups, and my body is lean and strong. No way am I going to mess this up by eating cr@p food! And whole, unadulterated, healthy food actually tastes way nicer once you get away from all the addictive sugar, salt and fat.

Therapy, mindfulness, meditation, mindful eating
i struggle with this too but these methods rather than a strict diet or “just not buying it” work better for me. I binge eat to turn off the feelings in my body and make life bare-able - but actually it massively compounds the issues I’m facing.

Practice self compassion. Tune into the body, learn what it really really needs. Might sound a little nuts but look at Aryuvedic food systems, and try to eat only until satiety rather than “full”. Don’t have the view that you can never have XYZ again in your life, but when you do have XYZ see it as an indulgence. Really take your time over it, focus on it, savour it. Stop when sated with that thing.

OP, your situation sounds like it’s really tough. I don’t think binge eating is a sign of weakness. You have used it to keep you strong, now you are asking for help. This is brave, and shows resilience. It may not be a straightforward journey - give yourself grace.

good luck on your journey!

Small steps that help me are

Drink plenty of water
Get 12000 steps (walk witha podcast is really enjoyable)
Fruit tea instead of regular (don't need a biscuit with fruit tea)
Bath or paint nails in the evening as can't snack while doing that.

Thank you everyone🥰 You’ve all been so helpful

I used to binge eat because the feeling of hunger caused so much shame and grief for me that I could never bear to even begin to feel a tummy rumble.
I knew why .... I knew that it was because my mother used to starve me when I was small because she thought I was fat. I remember hunger at bedtime and the feeling of being unloved. That there was something wrong with me and I was being punished.
She told school I wasn't allowed a pudding, so everyone at my table had pudding and I had a satsuma. This was primary school so I was 6? 7?
I've seen photos btw and I wasn't fat. I was well covered and not unusual really. At my home we didn't do much and I never got much chance to use my energy up, though I had a lot.
But knowing the story didn't help me. I think I got kind of attached to it. I used it not to change rather than to change, you know? Poor me.
Well I've had lots of therapy, and it's true that "Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces", and therapy really helped. I lost weight, put some back on, lost more, put some on, but getting better over time.
What really helped recently for me was doing shamanic journeys with shamen like Cissi Williams, Sandra Ingerman and Christa McKinnon.
I did one journey where I met an animal helper who told me that I was using my stomach as a heart. She said my heart wasn't a child's heart anymore, that my woman's heart was strong, and I could use my stomach as a stomach and my heart as a heart.
I came out of that journey weeping. And smiling. I don't binge eat now. I've lost 50 pounds. I'm chunky I guess still, but I look good. I'm happy and strong.

I've been a 24. I'm a 16 now.

Noom. Alongside any other therapy and gym you do.

The course will help you unpack the food element and give ways to manage the emotional eating.

I cut out chocolate, first by only eating small amounts of expensive chocolate and luxuriating in it, and then cutting out everything but 70% dark.

When the cravings subsided I moved onto processed sugars - just the obvious things, and I put all the fresh fruit and veg at eye level in my fridge (keep the condiments in the drawers instead) so that every time I opened the fridge there were healthy items.

Once you get sugar down, your palate starts to shift and you get drawn towards other food. Try and treat food as a lovely, luxury experience rather than focusing on deprivation. I think that’s so important as will power can only take you so far.

You need to figure out the reason behind why, I would urge you to seek cognitive behavioural therapy. Best of luck!

I've been overweight all my life and also comfort eat because of childhood trauma, but always managed to stay around 10/11 stone-ish. I love chocolate, cakes, sweets, biscuits - and don't have a 'stop' button. I can eat a whole packet of biscuits with ease.

Unfortunately I've got to the age when it's life threatening, I'm 65 and have just been diagnosed with 'high cholesterol' which has scared me into action. I'm being retested in three months.

The doctor recommended the Mediterranean diet. I do feel quite full after the meals, but it is a lot of cooking. I have removed all temptation, I gave my stash away to my neighbour.

Try and find an eating plan you and your family might enjoy and can stick to.