For those that comfort eat or managed to stop?

[ImHavingACrisis]

I’ve had to name change because this is so embarrassing. I’m also posting here for traffic sorry.

I have two kids under the age of 2 and I’m unbelievably overweight. I’ve stepped on the scales to see I’m now 20 stone 4 pounds and I wear a size 18/20. The thing is, I’m aware of my weight. I started going to the gym three weeks ago and do a mixture of weight training and HIIT. I go three times a week and I’m as consistent as possible.

Here’s the issue. I just don’t know how to stop eating. I have a really unhealthy relationship with food and I comfort eat nearly every day. My youngest has a genetic disorder and was in NICU for 6 weeks. I can’t even tell you the amount of calories I assumed within that time. Since then I’ve been adjusting to having two kids especially one who has complex needs and has physio. I was recently diagnosed with PND and have been put on antidepressants to help with my anxiety.

I’m talking a lot but basically I need help! How, how, how do I stop eating junk food. Stressful/happy things will always occur in life so I really need a different way to deal with things. I don’t smoke, don’t drink and I don’t take drugs so food has always been my go too. Can someone please help? Does anyone have a motivational story on how they stopped eating such unhealthy food or any tips that I can use? I really need to work on my health because this can’t continue.

I just wanted to say thank you so much for this thread. Over the year so, I've realised I'm a constant nibbler and on here have given me hope! Well done for admitting your issue OP and reaching out.

I have found the following v helpful first steps: calorie counting app (but you must keep it up) and drinking lots of water. These helped me to feel in control and like I could make bigger changes. I'd also recommend working out what REALLY makes you eat. Stress is a surface level thing for me but I need to really unpick my relationship with food going back into childhood to find what makes me an infinite pit I think. I'm trying to list possible causes and solutions and I'll move forward from there.

You need talking therapy. You're using food to salve your feelings. You need to tell someone how you feel. Find a good trauma therapist. Tell them how you feel when you reach for food. Good luck

If you can break the association of emotions and eating you'll be halfway there.

Can you stop buying UPF - you can't eat it if it isn't there. They are really addictive and so, so bad. As they contain no real nutrition, you still feel hungry even when you should be full.

Intermittent fasting works for many. Basically delay breakfast and don't eat anything after dinner.

Most of what you eat should be plants and lean protein, plus small amounts of unrefined carbs such as lentils, quinoa, brown rice etc. Look at Mediterranean cuisine- easy and nutritious.

Portion control is key. Eating slowly helps. Start with vegetables, then the protein, and leave carbs till last.

Have some healthy snacks available, such as cantaloupe, apples, etc. Boiled eggs are very filling and yet low in calories. I keep mango slices in the fridge for those "I need something sweet and I need it now!!" moments...

Exercise really helps - not so much with weight loss but by changing mindset. Just 20-30 minutes a day is better than nothing: HIIT, weights, stretching. There are lots of workouts on YouTube, so you don't have to go to the gym every day.

I quit sugar, it was easy then,once I stopped eating sugar I stopped over eating. Now I've started Slimming World which I'm finding really easy so far,my diet was great but bit too fond of olive oil and bread so it reigns me in.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-11445839/DR-MICHAEL-MOSLEY-Im-addicted-sugary-junk-food-deal-it.htmlGod's!!!

"highly processed sugary foods, such as ice cream, chocolate, doughnuts and biscuits, should be considered addictive in the same way that tobacco is.
And that's because, like cigarettes, some foods trigger intense urges and cravings to the point where you will go on eating them even though you know this increases your risk of life-threatening diseases such as type 2 diabetes and heart disease."

Thank you so much guys, this thread has been so helpful. I’m taking everything in and will definitely have a look at my day to day diet and how it can be altered. A cookbook is a great suggestion as sometimes I can’t think of things to cook for dinner.

I personally enjoy going to the gym and find it really relaxing but I agree that I need to have a substitute in place for when I get the emotion that makes me want to eat. So instead of eating a pack of digestive biscuits, I go for a walk instead etc. It really is all about changing your mindset and that’s what I seem to be struggling with

I was diagnosed with ADHD and started taking stimulants. This dramatically reduced my impulsive eating.

Jen Unwin has some YouTube vids on Food Addiction, you may find them interesting and useful.

I was a comfort eater and did manage to stop. I went on holiday with friends and got out of the habit because there was no opportunity to do it. It was incredibly difficult but after that week I was motivated and just kept going. I just refused to give in to food. Didn't buy junk foods, didn't eat them. Stayed upstairs at night, had a bath, did my nails.

This was when I was a teenager so very different lifestyle to a mother of two, but I know it's possible because I've never gone back! It was reeeally difficult to break the habit, not going to lie, but ultimately I just refused to give in and once I'd made that rule it was very easy. And it changed my life. Now I have a healthy relationship with food.

It takes time to learn to appreciate vegetables when your taste buds are used to continuously being assaulted by UPF and other foods rich in sugar, salt and fat.

Reading the list of ingredients of some of these foods can be helpful as you'll realize how far removed from real food they are.

And just taking time to actually 'get' the taste of plants. Slowly eating a carrot, a stem of broccoli, a pear......... getting to appreciate the depth and complexity of the taste.

As for cooking more creatively, find some vegetarian cookbooks for inspiration - look in libraries, charity shops. The protein can be cooked simply - pan-fried chicken breasts, salmon, white fish. Marinated in Asian flavours (ginger, garlic, Teriyake sauce) is simple and very nice. Lots more ideas on YouTube, or look up some Jamie Oliver recipes. Add some brown rice or quinoa and you've got a delicious and healthy meal.

Be aware that there are possible side effects with this.
Gallbladder issues being one very painful example.

Is your partner very overweight? Your children? Who does the cooking?

I’ll also send DP to the shop to get packs of sweets/chocolate/crisps etc. I’ll even eat until I feel sick and will carry on eating just because the food is there.

pretty appalling he goes op

how old are you?

aside from gym, what is your activity level like?

Google The Weight Loss Academy and Anna Wallace the creator of that academy . It is brilliant and really reset my relationship with food. I still have the urge to comfort eat but also have the skills to stop myself now. It's not really a diet plan, there are meal plans but it's more around nutrition and support
There is a really supportive Facebook group that goes alongside with it. Like her Facebook page or look for her in Instagram as she'll probably do a new reset group in January. Usually for around £20 it's so good.

The trick is to not stop eating but to replace what you are eating with better foods that have less calories and more nutrition.

Love crisps? Sugar snap peas are great. Love something sweet or salty? Popcorn is great. Need sweet and savoury? Try apple slices with peanut or almond butter. Biscuits? Dark chocolate covered mini rice cakes.

If you're like me and love chocolate, those 200 calorie or below slimming chocolate bars work wonders. They're large and dense enough to be considered a treat without all the calories. I have some by Exante I swear by and they're massive and dense but you can get cheaper ones in B&M etc.

Obviously my post doesn't address the underlying cause of the emotional eating but it does help when you're filling up on lower calorie foods while you begin to address them. They still count as a binge but you don't feel like you're back at step one, so to speak.

In these instances, it really is about reprogramming your brain so you need to gaslight yourself a bit to success.

I listened to a podcast recently where Richard Osman spoke about issues with over/comfort eating, the most useful thing that i took away was this - we all have that voice in our heads telling us we deserve a treat etc. Sometimes listen to your other voice. Every little helps and the more i do it the less out of control i feel

Look what just popped into my YouTube suggestions box - scary...:

No grand plans, just one day or even one hour at a time. The whole of the future ever can seem too big and overwhelming, but put your phone timer on for an hour or two as a small goal ie. don’t pick at things for that length of time. With time, good habits will replace bad ones, but you need to be kind to yourself and take baby steps. Someone who has not suffered the sort of problems you (and lots of other people) are suffering, might think this is silly but it does work. Small, achievable goals can do wonders. Good luck!

I just want to echo what pps said. It's not needing a diet or to work out it's needing to stop overeating. Comfort eating is a symptom of a mental health issues or trauma that you are suppressing or trying to control or self harm with food.
Once your mental health is better and any trauma is dealt with the weight should melt off because your appetite will self regulate.
Get the Christopher Fairburn book, not a cookery or diet book. It's not a diet issue, it's a mental health issue.

I’m very fat and it’s taking a long time to make changes.

The only thing dietwise that works for me is keto with no processed foods because it stops my cravings so I can make better decisions in the moment.

Exercise is great but will not do much for weight loss in reality.

Ive lost about 18lb since August and I’m 2 stone down from this time last year.

When you weigh a lot (I weigh more than you) it’s a long journey with ups and downs and focusing on long term changes and shrugging off the blips is what helps me.

Generally speaking cutting processed food as a first step will pay dividends as you’ll feel better and more satiated and not being hungry all the time helps.

Also, with keto I don’t have to count anything so don’t get obsessed.

And counting calories isn’t the long term answer. You can lose weight without counting calories; concentrating more on the type of food you eat will pay dividends. I can guarantee I probably eat way more calories currently that any diet would suggest and consistently lose weight.

The desire to comfort eat is still there but being pretty much always full helps me control.

For example I had mackerel and eggs for breakfast today and I haven’t felt hungry since so the cue that would normally send me to the chocolate hasn’t kicked in.

I've also been a comfort eater for a long time, unlike you I also used alcohol as a crutch. I've tried and failed a few times to change my ways.

However, I am currently on week 6 of cutting out booze and junk food. I've only had a couple of slip ups so far.

Honestly the only thing that has really worked for me is sheer willpower and there's no denying that is very difficult, especially if you have a 'fuck it' type attitude like I do!

Other things that work for me, just not having the food/drink in the house in the first place. Have your husband say no if you ask him to go to the shops. Weight watchers do some really nice brownie slices so you can still have a treat.

I agree with whoever said upthread to totally exclude sugar and processed food.

Exclusion wont work it will likely make it worse. Look at intuitive eating and therapy. I’m not slimmer but I have a much healthier relationship with food and I don’t restrict any food groups. I did Michael Moseley and slimming world and the rest but ultimately you probably have an eating disorder that you need support with and no ‘diet’ is going to fix that. If you loose weight without dealing with the cause you will put it back on and gain more - believe me I’ve been there! PM if you want 😊