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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

15 year restraining order

37 replies

thisisasurvivor · 18/11/2022 14:12

Hello all

Long story short

Years of hell

Attacked my aunt and I

Fled with two small kids

Criminal case and got a 15 year restraining order for myself only

What May this mean re child contact please if anyone is aware??

OP posts:
mamabear715 · 20/11/2022 13:49

I've no experience of restraining orders, @thisisasurvivor , but I wish you & your DC peace for the rest of your lives.. hoping someone can help. Hugs..

thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 13:49

Thanks so much

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Whiskeypowers · 20/11/2022 14:31

Was he on trial for what he did tomyoj and this was the outcome as a result for the verdict.
a restraining order to protect you doesn’t automatically prevent him from having contact with any children you share. Sadly.
depending on the circumstances a family court will take more notice or less depending on whether handovers can be done with a third person safely and he can cooperate fully with any conditions.
im assuming you are currently not amenable to contact and it’s being contested through family court with LA / CAFCASS involvement?

Whiskeypowers · 20/11/2022 14:33

thisisasurvivor · 19/11/2022 08:19

Thank yoh all

He has managed to get away with a lot

I just hope the RO will be viewed badly against all he did to the kids

But who knows

It's a system designed by men for the benefit of men

Has he been sentenced for any offences or is he effectively a free man with a restraining order in relation to you?
how come social services are still not involved i’m a bit confused

thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 15:09

Social services are involved

They have been for some time now

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Untitledsquatboulder · 20/11/2022 15:34

thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 13:43

For all the views on here from those who got restraining orders

Did it keep you safe?

Yes, he breached it a couple of times and was sent to prison. Finally he got the message/ lost interest.

thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 15:43

Wow my fck

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thisisasurvivor · 20/11/2022 17:29

They don't give two shits

And they get away with it all

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thisisasurvivor · 22/11/2022 22:44

Anyone else got experience of this?

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Yabado · 24/11/2022 08:07

@thisisasurvivor
my neighbour has a restraining order until further notice -
This means it can only be changed if he or myself or my DH apply to the courts to change it .So basically forever 😂

Initially he was banned from coming within 200 meters of my streeet ( where he lived for two years ) this was part of his prison sentence and a no contact RO

The original RO was a no contact order which was great while he couldn’t enter the street

But he was planning on returning to his council house ( which he was allowed to leave empty for two years ) that’s a whole other story .

However 2 months before his sentence ended I emailed the judge clerk to ask for a variation of the RO to include distance of 100 meters .

The judge was great - we got a hearing a week before he could return and the RO was changed to include 100 meters distance of myself or the street .

This meant he can never return to his council house
( he got evicted eventually )
However his fear of going to back to prison was greater than breaking the RO so it’s kept us safe ( he spent 4 months on remand )

But some people won’t give a fuck and will break the order

ideally you want both no contact and some form of distance in the order as no contact can be very hard to define and easy to manipulate.

But not allowed to come within say 100 meters is clear and much harder to manipulate.

LakieLady · 24/11/2022 08:22

If there's good evidence of him harming the kids, I'd expect any contact he was allowed would have to be supervised and at a contact centre. That's what's happened in similar cases with families I've supported.

thisisasurvivor · 24/11/2022 08:29

Why should contact even be allowed he hurt them

Attacked my aunt

Tried to kill me

Tried to kill 2 exs

What does he get ??

Very little

No custody
I'm sick of men getting off

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