To want MIL to stop implying she will die!

[Irishfarmer]

My MIL is very ill with cancer right now. It has all come on very suddenly since the summer.

She says things like, I won't get new clothes I don't I know if I'll be around to wear them. Tells me things to do when we inherit the farm. She has met the solicitor to make sure will in the order (this I do agree is sensible).

But she is reacting well to chemo. But they keep her in for 6 weeks at a time. She is currently home for a few day.

I don't want her to talk about not being about, I want her to be her for another 20 years! To see my son, who she adores grow. It just all seems unfair, she was so excited about him, she has 2 other GC but not through any falling out or anything just doesn't see BIL + family as much as she sees us. She was around every 2nd day until she became sick. I send her pics/ videos every day but it's not the same.

I moved 3 hrs from home to marry DH and she is a huge support to me and I can't bare her talking about not being her

I know I am BU, she is allowed to talk how she wants and it is how she is dealing with things, even if she seems to be fine about it all.

Also I wanted to buy her a kindle so she can rent library books while in hospital but she said not to bother, she might not get much use out of it. She's 70 and seems to be responding very well so I think she should get a kindle!

You’re not reading it properly then.

OP clearly cares deeply for her MIL and is doing what she can. It’s bloody hard sitting watching someone you adore die. I did it this summer with my dad. He was much more practical than I was about it. I clung onto every bit of hope. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It haunts me thinking about it.

OP keep plodding on. Take her “your new kindle” or anything else you can think of. Let her deal with it however she needs to. Offload on here if you need to. 💐 to you.

When he was initially diagnosed with terminal cancer DH responded in the same way, he didn't buy shoes or clothes or want anything for Christmas but he did come round after time. I bought him things because I loved him and wanted him to have them, he accepted them. I think it is a very natural response to an awful situation.