lodger making my life difficult

[Landladyissues]

about a month ago I came down to find my freezer door wide open. I opened the doors to check that not too much damage had been done - I am the only person who used the freezer. My Polish lodger had helped herself to frozen black cherries and raspberries. The packets were in the bin. I had noticed that she had previously taken odd bananas and used washing tabs and conditioner but hadn't made a fuss. They were small items. She had been with me for 5 months. Anyway, her room is above the kitchen and the following morning she complained that had woken her up in the morning by noise in the kitchen. I explained why that morning I had had to check the freezer contents etc. She immediately deflected by saying that her room was too cold. The house is centrally heated and there is a radiator in her room. The room is also above an aga - but apparently the windows are too big and the laid wooden floor is cold. She has a rug!! I said that was she really telling me that the room wasn't suitable for her needs - she said yes, and followed this up with a lot of texts saying that I was keeping her in an unheated room etc. Then she asked for a reference which I gave - saying that she paid her rent and kept the room clean and tidy. She said that she wanted to give notice for 30th November - her next rent due date - but she didn't know how long it would take for her to find a room so it might take a bit longer. she told my other lodger it would take 6 months for me to get her out. I took legal advice and gave her a month notice. Since then she has been generally a nuisance - minor issues. Small scratches on the back door glass (which was newly put in) constant use of the washing machine - leaving the washing in while she goes off on her motorbike - today she rode off leaving a single item in the washing machine on 'hold' blocking it for everyone else.

I know she is just trying to needle me - and use as much of my electricity as possible - I am counting the days for her departure and have already arranged for the locks to be changed.

and I thought I'd sound off here!!!

Hope all goes well Wednesday.. At least your Christmas will be under less stressful conditions...

Actually in my mum’s house and my house (hers is a large Victorian house, mine is a smaller Victorian cottage) very very occasionally eg when it’s snowed unexpectedly the heating has gone on overnight but usually it’s just past midnight and comes on at 5am. I recently got an electric blanket though so will use that instead. I can’t sleep or wake up if it’s really really cold.

@Landladyissues just checking in and hoping that you are safe. Good luck for Wednesday. You will feel like as though a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders after!

As you will have guessed, I have had lodgers too, and one challenging one.

Do not feel unduly bullied into overnight heating. Most people don't use it.

I would definitely say no to heating on overnight. How does she think people managed in the days before central heating. Ridiculous request.

@Landladyissues
You mention the house needing to be “ Purged”
White Sage is used to “psychically cleanse” a house of bad vibes-
Burn some White Sage in the rooms that feel polluted by bad vibes- And open the windows to chase out the bad energy

It does help from what people say.
Once all her stuff is gone, and you have White Saged the place, it will feel a lot better.
Best of luck for Weds !

Overnight heating in this weather? Not likely. It’s hardly minus 10. I hope she has been ok otherwise.

Has she now grasped she must move out? And have you briefed your other tenant she is prohibited from entering the property after this date even as a guest?

I'd just give her room a good clean. No need for mystic woo.

Has she gone OP? X

Fingers crossed 🤞 for you today op

I hope she went quietly today, OP.

Hi, and thanks to all the contributions that really helped me through this. She went! It took her all day. She said, magnanimously, on departure, that she wouldn't be sending me a bill for the fire she had to buy to keep her room warm. I didn't respond by saying that I wouldn't be sending her a bill for the missing food. Anyone who has read this knows I am not confrontational. The radiator in her room WAS working but she said that I had done something to make it work that day. And the 'broken' window was a 1 mm gap in the seal between one window and another. She left the front door wide open throughout. Maybe that's why the central heating was on all day - it is controlled by thermostat.

Last night I felt a real sense of peace. My house was quiet. It was like a force of negative energy had left. OK - too much imagination.

Again - what a brilliant way to share my troubles!

X

By the way, the 1 mm gap wasn't the entire window - it was the bottom 10 cm. and there was no draft that I could feel from the outside.

Phew!!

Good riddance. Well done. Locks changed?

Last night I felt a real sense of peace. My house was quiet. It was like a force of negative energy had left. OK - too much imagination.

I had to give a lidger notice & was very fair in giving him 4 weeks, he also left the door open and trod mud up and down the stairs when he left. Which summed up why I’d given him notice. The peace in the house afterwards was delicious 😋 and yes a negative energy had departed.

he will have taken that negative energy with him and have the same issues over again with different people - thankfully he left just 23 days before lockdown

your lidger will unfortunately take her problems with her and have difficulty wherever she is with others

I am so glad she has actually gone. Once you get the locks changed today you will be totally free of her. Such a shame she caused you so much grief, but now it's over for you. Have a good Christmas 🍾🍷

Yes, mud trodden down a bit as she stomped up and down stairs - not too much. But yes, locks changed this morning. And I had a wonderful day including the news that my god-daughter gave birth to a baby girl at 3 minutes past midnight - December 1st - 7 pounds 1 ounce! Such a positive news.

That's lovely news, OP. (I've been following but not commented before now.) I hope that you can now start to enter the Christmas season with a sense of joy and peace.

That's brilliant - and about the new baby. Enjoy the space in your home again.

Good news all round. You must be relieved. I hope you’ll have a chance to had a baby snuggle soon.

It sounds like she's done this before and probably knows her "rights" better than you do. Bring any paperwork you have to a solicitor and get rid of her legally. If you rent out again check references and take a large security deposit. Make sure you have an air tight agreement.

She's a lodger not a tenant and frankly her behaviour is dreadful.
She has far less protection than a tenant so I'd bag her shit up, leave it in the front garden and tell her to eff off when she returns.