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AIBU?

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Original poster

lodger making my life difficult

173 replies

Landladyissues · 18/11/2022 11:08

about a month ago I came down to find my freezer door wide open. I opened the doors to check that not too much damage had been done - I am the only person who used the freezer. My Polish lodger had helped herself to frozen black cherries and raspberries. The packets were in the bin. I had noticed that she had previously taken odd bananas and used washing tabs and conditioner but hadn't made a fuss. They were small items. She had been with me for 5 months. Anyway, her room is above the kitchen and the following morning she complained that had woken her up in the morning by noise in the kitchen. I explained why that morning I had had to check the freezer contents etc. She immediately deflected by saying that her room was too cold. The house is centrally heated and there is a radiator in her room. The room is also above an aga - but apparently the windows are too big and the laid wooden floor is cold. She has a rug!! I said that was she really telling me that the room wasn't suitable for her needs - she said yes, and followed this up with a lot of texts saying that I was keeping her in an unheated room etc. Then she asked for a reference which I gave - saying that she paid her rent and kept the room clean and tidy. She said that she wanted to give notice for 30th November - her next rent due date - but she didn't know how long it would take for her to find a room so it might take a bit longer. she told my other lodger it would take 6 months for me to get her out. I took legal advice and gave her a month notice. Since then she has been generally a nuisance - minor issues. Small scratches on the back door glass (which was newly put in) constant use of the washing machine - leaving the washing in while she goes off on her motorbike - today she rode off leaving a single item in the washing machine on 'hold' blocking it for everyone else.

I know she is just trying to needle me - and use as much of my electricity as possible - I am counting the days for her departure and have already arranged for the locks to be changed.

and I thought I'd sound off here!!!

OP posts:
DenholmElliot11 · 18/11/2022 13:52

Just take the washing out of the machine if you want to use it.

But yeah, she's a lodger, she's being spiteful, I'd just get her to leave immediately.

Whammyyammy · 18/11/2022 13:53

48 hours notice, so long....

Dorisbonson · 18/11/2022 13:55

Landladyissues · 18/11/2022 11:08

about a month ago I came down to find my freezer door wide open. I opened the doors to check that not too much damage had been done - I am the only person who used the freezer. My Polish lodger had helped herself to frozen black cherries and raspberries. The packets were in the bin. I had noticed that she had previously taken odd bananas and used washing tabs and conditioner but hadn't made a fuss. They were small items. She had been with me for 5 months. Anyway, her room is above the kitchen and the following morning she complained that had woken her up in the morning by noise in the kitchen. I explained why that morning I had had to check the freezer contents etc. She immediately deflected by saying that her room was too cold. The house is centrally heated and there is a radiator in her room. The room is also above an aga - but apparently the windows are too big and the laid wooden floor is cold. She has a rug!! I said that was she really telling me that the room wasn't suitable for her needs - she said yes, and followed this up with a lot of texts saying that I was keeping her in an unheated room etc. Then she asked for a reference which I gave - saying that she paid her rent and kept the room clean and tidy. She said that she wanted to give notice for 30th November - her next rent due date - but she didn't know how long it would take for her to find a room so it might take a bit longer. she told my other lodger it would take 6 months for me to get her out. I took legal advice and gave her a month notice. Since then she has been generally a nuisance - minor issues. Small scratches on the back door glass (which was newly put in) constant use of the washing machine - leaving the washing in while she goes off on her motorbike - today she rode off leaving a single item in the washing machine on 'hold' blocking it for everyone else.

I know she is just trying to needle me - and use as much of my electricity as possible - I am counting the days for her departure and have already arranged for the locks to be changed.

and I thought I'd sound off here!!!

Take her stuff and throw her out.

I had a similar lodger, she gave verbal notice to quit and then stayed months as a total nuisance, she put a lock on her door and when we opened it after she left discovered all kinds of damage.

If she has destroyed your trust and is ruining your home, don't be soft, do what you need to do. At the end of the day she is doing this to herself. She had given you notice so you can move her things out on that date.

Littleladylumps · 18/11/2022 14:00

Put bleach in the washing machine drawer, let it rinse then pop it on hold again before it finishes.

antelopevalley · 18/11/2022 14:15

It is illegal to destroy property on purpose. Do not put bleach in.

YellowTreeHouse · 18/11/2022 15:01

antelopevalley · 18/11/2022 14:15

It is illegal to destroy property on purpose. Do not put bleach in.

Whoops. Was just cleaning it and forgot 🤷‍♀️

Brigante9 · 18/11/2022 15:18

Lodgers don't have the same rights as tenants, just tell her to be gone by Monday.

OriginalUsername2 · 18/11/2022 15:25

If you tell her to be gone by Monday, she has time to do more damage. If you know she has somewhere safe to go, pack her things and put them by the door. Have someone with you to witness if you feel nervous.

Welshmonster · 19/11/2022 00:16

What country are you based in as you can get rid of her sooner.

speak to citizens advice as sounds like you have more lodgers who she is also inconveniencing.

piesforever · 19/11/2022 00:25

Annoying but don't understand what Polish has got to do with it

Shikamiri · 19/11/2022 00:29

Do you think she's behaving this way because she's Polish?

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 19/11/2022 00:36

piesforever · 19/11/2022 00:25

Annoying but don't understand what Polish has got to do with it

I would assume that’s it’s just a way to differentiate her from the other lodger/s.

Weelittleone36 · 19/11/2022 00:43

Definitely throw her out, though check with CA first to ensure you do it properly, and if possible when you do it, record it and/or have a witness

LikeTearsInRain · 19/11/2022 00:47

She sounds like a right bitch. Hope she leaves when the time comes.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 19/11/2022 00:57

She's sharing your kitchen; you only have to give "reasonable notice".
It's unreasonable for her to help herself to your food (and =theft) and/or to damage anything in your house ( =criminal damage).
If you suspect that her behaviour's likely to escalate between now and 30th November, it might be a good idea to terminate the arrangement even sooner. And refund the rent money for the last few days, after deducting the cost of the frozen fruit etc.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 19/11/2022 00:58

The Polish aspect of it is the lodger could think OP is being racist towards her because she’s Polish.

I’ve got a few Polish friends and one in particular hated using her Polish surname (now married to an English man) and her Polish first name as she thought English people and others were racist towards her. My Slovakian colleague told me she kept her English married name (now divorced) as well as her Slovakian surname because she got racist comments. Another Polish friend uses her anglicised version of her first name for same reasons.

I’ve got no idea where OP is from but no, no need to mention the lodger’s nationality unless there are cultural differences with regards to her living there, the heat being one of them.

I’d give her notice but no need to be unkind or vindictive. When I was a lodger years ago lots of my belongings were ruined by condensation (fault of owner of flat) so thereafter I had tenancy agreements.

Kitkatcatflap · 19/11/2022 01:32

As soon I read that the OP said her lodger was Polish - I wondered how many posts before we see a rush to call her a racist. Please, if the OP was racist would she really let her live in her home?

Another poster explained that due to the winter temperatures in Poland the houses are kept very warm. That is a valid reason for one of the lodger's complaints. It's the same here in northern Sweden (currently -10 tonight) houses are kept super warm. When my Swedish DH moved to UK he constantly moaned about my drafty, cold home and the temperature inside.

PaulaTrilloe · 19/11/2022 01:51

Lodger might not understand the difference of being on a licence compared to rights (and additional costs) of being a tenant.

Energy costs are lower in Poland than here too.

Fraaahnces · 19/11/2022 04:24

Document everything in return.

Stopsnowing · 19/11/2022 05:08

Rising energy and overall costs have increased the tensions of having a lodger. I am in an ongoing discussion with mine about how long to have the hearing on!

ivykaty44 · 19/11/2022 05:17

Monday morning tell her to go to the council as homeless as she can no longer stay as your lodger

change the locks

if in England there isn’t a tenancy agreement for lodgers

ivykaty44 · 19/11/2022 05:20

That is a valid reason for one of the lodger's complaints.

it was a deflection as she had been caught stealing the landladies cherry’s & food

ElmoNeedsThePotty · 19/11/2022 06:04

@Stopsnowing But hearing is free! 😂

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/11/2022 06:49

Are you coming back op?

SeasonFinale · 19/11/2022 06:56

Seriously the relevance if her being Polish is as another poster says the fact that Eastern Europeans tend to heat their houses to a ridiculous level far higher than in the UK and thus the lodger gas an unrealistic expectation regarding what heat the OP has her house.

This has been a major issue for many of those hosting Ukrainian guests.