lodger making my life difficult

[Landladyissues]

about a month ago I came down to find my freezer door wide open. I opened the doors to check that not too much damage had been done - I am the only person who used the freezer. My Polish lodger had helped herself to frozen black cherries and raspberries. The packets were in the bin. I had noticed that she had previously taken odd bananas and used washing tabs and conditioner but hadn't made a fuss. They were small items. She had been with me for 5 months. Anyway, her room is above the kitchen and the following morning she complained that had woken her up in the morning by noise in the kitchen. I explained why that morning I had had to check the freezer contents etc. She immediately deflected by saying that her room was too cold. The house is centrally heated and there is a radiator in her room. The room is also above an aga - but apparently the windows are too big and the laid wooden floor is cold. She has a rug!! I said that was she really telling me that the room wasn't suitable for her needs - she said yes, and followed this up with a lot of texts saying that I was keeping her in an unheated room etc. Then she asked for a reference which I gave - saying that she paid her rent and kept the room clean and tidy. She said that she wanted to give notice for 30th November - her next rent due date - but she didn't know how long it would take for her to find a room so it might take a bit longer. she told my other lodger it would take 6 months for me to get her out. I took legal advice and gave her a month notice. Since then she has been generally a nuisance - minor issues. Small scratches on the back door glass (which was newly put in) constant use of the washing machine - leaving the washing in while she goes off on her motorbike - today she rode off leaving a single item in the washing machine on 'hold' blocking it for everyone else.

I know she is just trying to needle me - and use as much of my electricity as possible - I am counting the days for her departure and have already arranged for the locks to be changed.

and I thought I'd sound off here!!!

what does her being polish have to do with the situation?

Oh no, I think I remember you posting previously, is it both lodgers leaving? Sorry to hear the situation didn't improve.

I had a lodger that was incredibly inconsiderate that I ended up asking to leave. She was nice on the day that she left as she was expecting me to give her the security deposit back (until I advised her that I'd be checking the room first and she got angry). As it happened, there was lots of damage in her room (that far exceeded her deposit). Her mum apologised for her reaction as apparently her landlord at her last place 'screwed her over', which was funny as she apparently couldn't give me a reference as she'd lived with the in-laws 😒.
Before that, I had 2 lovely lodgers who caused no dramas, so please don't lose hope, just be firm with your boundaries.

Get a British lodger next time, I'm sure they will be perfectly lovely. 🙄

She doesn’t get to behave like a twat and stay indefinitely at her convenience.

Ditto

The lodger sounds unpleasant. I'd get her out as quickly as possible OP. (And take care)

There was a thread recently in which a horrible lodger took revenge on her landlady by running the shower on hot for hours to ensure a crippling electricity bill. And whilst most condemned her there were plenty that applauded her for getting back at the wicked greedy landlady. So beware. OP

How is it relevant that the lodger is female?
Sorry, you lost me at "she".

No need to be racist
OP hasn't been nor have most decent posters

If you are trying to call out someone for being racist please get your facts right and RTFT !

HowzAboutIt · Today 09:47
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 09:24

You lost me at Polish. Cba with reading on because her nationality has bugger all to do with anything.

“How do you know that it has nothing to do with it if you are so judgey you CBA to read the post”

Subsequently read it. There is absolutely nothing in the first post that bears any relevance whatsoever to the nationality of the tenant.

Subsequently read it. There is absolutely nothing in the first post that bears any relevance whatsoever to the nationality of the tenant.

Yes exactly @MrsSkylerWhite
So please stop derailing the thread . The one you CBA at the start to read before you commented. And the one you clearly still haven't RTFT for or you'd understand why PPs are eye rolling at your uninformed posts.

To the person who asked me if both lodgers were leaving - no. The other is a chap, Bulgarian, and has been with me for 5 years. He is so brilliant I've never put his rent up! He is an internet trader and used to keep a lot of his stock in storage - which he discussed with me and I said he could use the attic and a shed in the garden. We just co-operate. My previous lodger was German - female - also with me for about 4 or 5 years - until she moved to Denmark with her job. Very straightforward - totally honest. I think my current lodger with issues has intimated a few things that I think might not be entirely honest - like she made an insurance claim that was huge against a small car shunt - and then the 'courtesy car' was provided by a now-ex boyfriend (at no cost) and she mentioned later that it hadn't been insured. These seem to be 'wins' in her opinion.

Just for info, OP may not be a raging xenophobe, but as someone with Polish heritage, anytime anyone gratuitous mentions someone being Polish I think, "here we go again". because so often it IS xenophobic. Or ignorant. Or twatty. Or angling for people to agree.

I tend to think that most nice people do try to avoid sounding like an arsehole. So avoiding saying "Polish" when it's entirely irreverent is nice. Those of us who have had to listen to just one or two too many, "coming over 'ere'" comments would appreciate it.

Oh and I have never put just one thing n a washing machine to the best of my recollection.

HTH.

I'm Polish and I don't like OP casually mentioning the nationality of her lodger. But I feel properly offended by the brigade of posters defending it. And saying communism has something to do with this behaviour? Communism ended in 1989 and saying things like that is xenophobic.
I'm Polish, I don't waste energy, I don't steal things and I would never behave like OP's lodger. Please stop saying offensive things and calling them "cultural differences".

100%

After the update about op’s lodgers being of various nationalities, I am presuming that casually mentioning her lodger being Polish is totally natural for her. I lived abroad and learned another language. I became friendly with some of the women in my language class. A was from B country C was from D country and so forth. It wasn’t to pigeon hole anyone. It was interesting to chat to people with such diverse life experiences and they weren’t all young or unmarried. One woman had been married several years, had 4 kids and had waited until they were at nursery / school to learn the language more formerly and possibly in order to take the nationality of the country - I forget as it was a long time ago.

@MrsTerryPratchett
I understand what you’re saying. I was abroad when the mood in the country changed and during the rise of UKIP. I felt like an alien in my own country when I returned here.

Mummyoflittledragon I suspect you are correct

@Landladyissues. How are you today? Just checking to see if you are ok.. Take care.

any wet washing she leaves the machine dump it in a bin bag outside her room door. both of my DDs house share with four other people (two different house shares) and it’s considered fair game that once the load is finished you remove it if you also need the machine- it’s up to the clothing owner to hang it up to dry it won’t go stinky if it’s only in a bag for a short time

I'd also refuse to give her a reference.

@TheKitchenWitch
How is it relevant that the lodger is female?
Sorry, you lost me at "she".

Yes!! 😁

Thanks to Wauden - I am surviving but counting the days, it must be said. I have also lost half a stone, (some might say a plus) because I simply couldn't face food. And the room will stay empty for a while as I don't think I could cope with a repeat situation. The house feels negative, and I almost feels it needs to be purged. Which is doubtless me being a bit pathetic! Anyway, my biggest fear is that she simply refuses to move. I don't think this will happen - but have invited a friend to come around that afternoon/evening and another friend on the day after the leave when the locksmith is booked. After that...! I'm sure it will be fine. I did give her a written reference which said that she had been with me for about 6 months and had paid her rent by DD and on time, and kept her room clean and tidy. It was pretty basic but it was true at the time of writing. I sent it to her in a PDF which I hope means that she can't add. But of course she could retype and add. What does a reference mean? Her friends could probably write her a reference and who would know?

Hi OP
Also very sympathetic here to your situation
If you read all the weblinks, as she is an excluded occupier as you're resident landlady and you gave her reasonable notice, changing the locks when she is out the day after expiry of said notice period for eviction and packing up her belongings (with a witness or video to show it was done carefully) is considered peaceful eviction in England if this is the country you are in.

She would have no right to force entry nor to trespass after then. Ensure the other lodger or you do not give her entry after then. I would ask a friend to video interactions at the door and close it when you go to get her stuff to hand it over or even better have it ready by the door asking her to step back and you will place it outside the door.

Thanks so much for your helpful support. I am such a wuss! I hate confrontation. My kids and I don't really sort things out by rowing. And to have a verbal stab at someone is so anti my nature. The end is in sight! I hope!!!

Any dramas or updates?

Oh dear, yes, she has asked for the heating to be on overnight. In all my life I have never once lived in a house with the heating left on overnight.

Fortunately she leaves on Wednesday - and on Thursday the locks are being changed.