Surely there's a hospital ward etiquette?

[dinoprincesses]

Dd (5) is currently in hospital after an operation. Hopefully going home later today. We were in overnight last night and I'm honestly shocked at what some people think is acceptable! Surely I'm not the only person that thinks this is unreasonable behaviour...

Woman and her hound Ds (presuming around 2ish) get put in the bed next to us and on the other side is a teenage girl (on her own as mom left early evening).

It gets to 9pm and most of the lights on the ward start going off as obviously it's a children's ward. Woman with her DS puts her telly on full volume, then gives her Ds a tablet, again on full blast. She then takes 6 video calls over the space of an hour, not bothering to turn the tv or tablet down but just shouting above it instead. This went on until 2.30am when she finally put him to bed although she kept the tv on as presumably she didn't want to go to sleep. A nurse did coke in at some point and ask her to take calls outside and keep volumes down as little one were trying to sleep but she would just wait until they had left and turn it up again.

Girl on the other side was on calls on loud speaker until about 11.30pm. Kind of understood this a bit more as she was on her own and she's probably not interested in going to bed at the same time as most of the kids on a children's ward. However she then started taking constant pictures for about 45 minutes with the flash and sound on.

Then this morning woman next to us takes another video call at 5am, loudly f'ing and blinding about her 'lay about bf who needs to cut out the wacky background so he can come and pick us up'.

I know I'm probably being a bit unreasonable because I'm tired and I understand that it's rare to be able to sleep in disturbed in hospital but surely this is just a whole new level of selfishness.

Just to add, the whole time we've been here I've kept my little ones tv at a low volume to make sure we didn't disturb anybody else, we generally keep our voices quite low (unless the nurses are giving medicine though the cannula etc which normally causes some loud crying) but generally have just tried to be courteous of others.

Young Ds not hound ds!

YANBU. Ask to speak to the charge nurse today.

We should be going home today so I don't think there is much they can do.

Also sorry for all the spelling mistakes, trying to type whilst DD is asleep on me. Hopefully people can get the gist.

Yeah ppl in hospitals are selfish. I found same when I was in. They seem to forget a curtain isn’t a wall.

Yanbu. Some people just have no regards for others.

Hope your child gets home today. I had a challenging stay in the childrens ward a few years back when the parents of 2 of the king stay children who had clearly become friends, went out and got 2 bottles of wine and pizza at 9.30 when the younger ones in the ward were sleeping, their kids were older so enjoyed the pizza while the mums got pretty drunk! I know it’s stressful having kids in hospital but there was a parents room they could at least have gone to!

The level of selfishness is unbelievable. Over the last hour she also thinks it's so cute and funny to keep letting her little darling run over to our side of the curtain and try to jump on DDs bed. Despite the fact that my Dd is in floods of tears as her cannula is hurting her. I've had to ask him quite firmly not to now as she won't say anything!

I would probably forgive the teenager but the mother should know better!

I was all ready to be eye-rolling and think YABU when I opened the thread (I am aware I need to get a life) but, bloody hell, YANBU!! That's disgusting behaviour on any ward at any time of day but another level of selfish and ignorant on a paeds ward at night. I work on the wards and would not tolerate this. If you're not home yet, please speak to someone about it. All the very best to you and your DC for a quick and happy recovery

I'd be so raging that if she ignored staff and parent (me) I would hide the remote and hide her phone charger. I would not tolerate that. Awful stuff. There should be basic manners/consideration in a multi occupied room and the rules should clearly state that. Calls on Bluetooth only with ear pods and the hospital could set the max TV volume if they wanted to.

Speak to ward manager. But they should set basic rules anyway. Applies to maternity and adult wards also.

@DaveSpondoolix I would have been exactly the same with the thread title. As I normally have a very high tolerance but this is another level.

I have seen some shocking behaviour from parents on peadiatric wards over the years with ds. I fully get they are stressed and worried but so does everyone else!

the worst we had was in a cubicle full of children with respiratory problems one mum thought it was ok to spray deodorant around and kicked off when asked by a nurse to not.

Unfortunately we spent alot of time in hospital when dc was 0-3
Was it Birmingham or Manchester by any chance as both of them are shocking for this on children's wards

Sadly when your in there alot you get used to it, I was quiet and polite and considerate and behaviour just like you described from others from early till late

Somehow I managed to zone it out

It's a disgraceful way for them to behave. You are a much better person than I am to not have flipped at them!

🌸

I remember what one of the MWs said when I asked what the postnatal ward was like, on a tour - “The population of the ward reflects the population of the area we’re in.”

The area we were in was Lewisham. I bought earplugs.

I think stress, anxiety etc can play a part, but many people are simply selfish and / or unthinking.

YANBU
How inconsiderate, I despair really 😩

A nurse did coke

Bloody hell I know the NHS is stressful but that’s a bit much

On a serious note YANBU.

I experienced this years ago in a postnatal ward, and staff aren’t much better. 4am admitting women and saying ‘Come on Debbie, HERES YOUR BED DO YOY WANT SOME TEA’. No respect at all. Women taking calls from their home countries at 3am. Toddlers coming through to my curtain when I’m half naked breastfeeding. And the worst of it is, fuck all is done about it. It does only seem to be on women and children’s ward IME, it’s almost like no one gives a shit (hmmmmm…)

That with the dog in the hospital did make me smile.

This made me laugh for the first time in a couple of days! It wouldn't surprise me, they've probably reached the end of their tether with the woman next to me too! Haha

And when I had DS and asked to leave the same evening I gave birth the bust said “You have a toddler at home, don’t you want to stay and get a bit of rest”. I actually laughed loudly and said “What rest? here?”. This was when about 22 people were in a ward of 3 women (I had no visitors at my request) and half of them were swearing and watching their phones loudly. The delusion is astounding.

Make sure they share with you OP sounds like you need it 😂

I’m now picturing a chihuahua sat up in a bed as a load of nurses snorting coke nearby 😂 ah it’s the small things isnt it

The woman's behaviour was incredibly rude and inconsiderate.

The teenager was also pretty thoughtless but to be fair to her, in an ideal world teenagers would have their own wards. No teenager wants to be 'put to bed' at 9pm at the same time as toddlers and little ones. It's probably difficult being on her own as well.