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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to let mainly 12 year olds and a single 13 year old watch dirty dancing

166 replies

Wills · 16/11/2022 19:16

Last year (around now) we moved our daughter to private school due to the lack of dealing with continuous bullying (I'm happy to give the back story but not only is it not the point of the thread, but OMG it's worth another thread so be careful what you ask for). For those who bemoan parents sending their kids to private - actually it did alright for the first 2 but failed the 2nd 2.

Needed to say that because MN is notorious for those who attack.

I've got 7 12 to 13 year olds (that's 6 girls and 1 boy) coming to my house this coming weekend to watch a film. I'd love it to be a film they've never seen before. PLEASE could I have suggestions. My daughter has seen Legally blonde, both Princess diaries, Wild child (best tween film ever! In my humble opinion)), Mean girls (not watched but am told is good and not age inappropriate), Clueless (also not watched personally but my older two girls felt it would be age appropriate for her). Others have suggested dirty dancing and said that at 12-13 the abortion bit would go over their head. Ummm no. I can't take the risk. My youngest is the only child we've sent to private. It's both wonderfully naive and a mix of (you're never going to survive unless you grow up etc). The key thing is that given that most of these kids are trying their hardest to still believe in Father Christmas despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.... What the hell do I show them that won't upset the other parents. I'm out of my league here. They've had all their children at private school from the start. Most of them are great. But the last thing I need is a controversy. Sorry - am possibly over worrying. BUT please give film suggestions!!!!

OP posts:
Bluetrews25 · 16/11/2022 20:00

If you want an older film that they will not have seen, with some dancing in it and a reasonable storyline, what about Strictly Ballroom?
Or if you fancy something really just very, very funny, I advise Airplane.
Or Life Of Brian. I loved these two at that age.

OoooohMatron · 16/11/2022 20:02

Personally I think Grease and Dirty Dancing might be a bit dated for kids these days. I loved them but DD wasn't that engaged, she prefers modern more relatable films.

mangodreams · 16/11/2022 20:02

Favourites are probably Enola Holmes 1 and 2, Pitch Perfect series, Jumanji movies, Divergent series

If you want more of a cheesy teen movie:
dd has enjoyed Moxie (lots of girl power!), To all the boys I've loved before, 13 going on 30, kissing booth and Save the last dance

VerveClique · 16/11/2022 20:04

I just can’t imagine 12 year old girls sitting still and being quiet enough to watch anything much!!

I’d have a major problem with Dirty Dancing at that age. Also Grease - which IMO is actually a film about sexualised behaviour and bullying.

TBH they’ll probably just want to take selfies and eat popcorn with Stranger Things on in the background Grin.

EarringsandLipstick · 16/11/2022 20:05

Dragonskin · 16/11/2022 19:58

how to lose a guy in 10 days
27 dresses
Made of honor
Picture Perfect
Two weeks notice
Maid in Manhattan
She’s all that
Monster in law
Devil wears prada
Sweet home alabama
My best friends wedding
Runaway bride
The proposal

The Devil Wears Prada is a great suggestion - my DD (15) loves that & has watched it over & over for years.

AlfiesGirl · 16/11/2022 20:08

Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging is my favourite teen girl film of all time!

RedHelenB · 16/11/2022 20:08

butterfliedtwo · 16/11/2022 19:29

I was 12 when I watched it but I suspect you'd get pushback from parents today.

I do see it differently now. Her dad was annoying then. Now he's right.

He wasn't right. Baby was right when she said he wanted her to do good in his way. He just jumped to conclusions amd ignored his eldest daughter until he got annoyed Baby was growing up without his permission. All the characters were flawed, that's why it's still.watchable.

WonderingWanda · 16/11/2022 20:08

Guardians of the Galaxy
Enola Holmes
iRobot
AI
The Day After Tomorrow
Top Gun
Just Go With It

All big hits with my 12 year old

Wills · 16/11/2022 20:09

OMG Such good films. Can't say thank you enough!!!!

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 16/11/2022 20:10

These themes and worse are are in lots of tv shows, abortion is frequently on the news. If a child has got to 13 years of age and not come across them then I would say they are sheltered. Or maybe I'm to open with my kids!

No, you misunderstand me. I'm very open with my DC, about sex & abortion.

It's not the content per se, it's how relationships are portrayed in the movie - it's all through an 80s lens that would be considered unacceptable today. Johnny / Baby's relationship is presented as romantic but today, we see that as inappropriate due to age & consent.

I was happy to watch it with DD but as I said, interjected to explain about my views on matters of consent etc. I wouldn't do that obviously in a mixed group of her friends!

XelaM · 16/11/2022 20:11

There's really nothing different or special about private school kids OP. They're just kids. My daughter has been privately educated since reception (she's also 12) and all her friends are just normal tweens with very ordinary families just like state schools have. There is nothing extra that's expected. Kids that age make their own entertainment and choose their own films and parents don't really get involved. 🤷‍♀️

MumofSpud · 16/11/2022 20:14

Hankunamatata · 16/11/2022 19:38

Twilight - though prob not trendy anymore

Last year I watched Twilight with my DD (16)- she rolled her eyes at the thought that I may have any clue what would entertain her....
We watched all 5 and read the books!

bigfamilygrowingupfast · 16/11/2022 20:15

Chalet girl?

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/11/2022 20:16

You’re really overthinking it. My teen dd also moved to private. The parents aren’t any more involved than the state school parents.

FKATondelayo · 16/11/2022 20:17

I think at 12/13 they should be choosing their own films - as long as they are not 18 rated what's the problem? I certainly wouldn't have wanted to watch old shite my mother would have chosen.

My 8 year old's seen Dirty Dancing. He had no idea about the abortion storyline - he just assumed Penny was poorly. He didn't like the snogging.

Cyclistmumgrandma · 16/11/2022 20:18

Fly Away Home

Glitterbaby17 · 16/11/2022 20:18

Pitch Perfect
Bring it On
St Trinians
Hunger Games

OldFan · 16/11/2022 20:19

I can't tell whether I should put YABU or YANBU @Wills , but Dirty Dancing is/was a 15 certificate. I know a lot of us watched it earlier but that doesn't make it a good idea. They give the ratings for a reason.

OldFan · 16/11/2022 20:20

I wouldn't be as worried about the abortion stuff as the sexual themes. The abortion isn't portrayed as being a barrel of laughs or anything.

ColourMeExhausted · 16/11/2022 20:20

Ha. Back in the 80s we were watching Dirty Dancing, Grease and Lost Boys at 10th birthday parties! Seem to recall the abortion bit (and the iffy relationship) going over my head and just focusing on the dancing...

Hollowgast · 16/11/2022 20:21

Of course. It's not like Patrick Swayze gets his nob out or anything. They'll be discussing much more adult themed stuff at school anyway.

Blueblell · 16/11/2022 20:21

I got in trouble with a good mum friend once for letting her son watch titanic! We are still good friends I hasten to add and it was a few years ago now but maybe it Is useful for reference! They were 11 so I may have been a bit irresponsible but they were studying titanic at the time and I thought it would be topical!

TheaBrandt · 16/11/2022 20:21

Freedom Writers was great too and The Help

forevercooking · 16/11/2022 20:21

Funny story. When I was younger I found a video of dirty dancing. My mum said I couldn't watch that it was a dirty film.

When I as 20 and at uni someone asked if I'd seen it and I said 'oh gosh no I haven't seen it my mum said it's filthy' 😂

TheaBrandt · 16/11/2022 20:23

Lots of these recommendations are very old films and (for us) didn’t really work with todays younger teens.There are lots of great more recent films mentioned I would go for one of those