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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to let mainly 12 year olds and a single 13 year old watch dirty dancing

166 replies

Wills · 16/11/2022 19:16

Last year (around now) we moved our daughter to private school due to the lack of dealing with continuous bullying (I'm happy to give the back story but not only is it not the point of the thread, but OMG it's worth another thread so be careful what you ask for). For those who bemoan parents sending their kids to private - actually it did alright for the first 2 but failed the 2nd 2.

Needed to say that because MN is notorious for those who attack.

I've got 7 12 to 13 year olds (that's 6 girls and 1 boy) coming to my house this coming weekend to watch a film. I'd love it to be a film they've never seen before. PLEASE could I have suggestions. My daughter has seen Legally blonde, both Princess diaries, Wild child (best tween film ever! In my humble opinion)), Mean girls (not watched but am told is good and not age inappropriate), Clueless (also not watched personally but my older two girls felt it would be age appropriate for her). Others have suggested dirty dancing and said that at 12-13 the abortion bit would go over their head. Ummm no. I can't take the risk. My youngest is the only child we've sent to private. It's both wonderfully naive and a mix of (you're never going to survive unless you grow up etc). The key thing is that given that most of these kids are trying their hardest to still believe in Father Christmas despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.... What the hell do I show them that won't upset the other parents. I'm out of my league here. They've had all their children at private school from the start. Most of them are great. But the last thing I need is a controversy. Sorry - am possibly over worrying. BUT please give film suggestions!!!!

OP posts:
OOlivePenderghast · 16/11/2022 19:43

Easy A
Freaky Friday
Chalet Girls
Ten Things I Hate About You
Never Been Kissed
What a Girl Wants
13 Going on 30
17 Again
The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants
Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
Aquamarine
Bring It On
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Dumplin’

OoooohMatron · 16/11/2022 19:44

I highly recommend Cruella. Its a 12 and my 12 year old loved it. Even my 10 year old boy enjoyed it. It's on Disney plus.

Hankunamatata · 16/11/2022 19:44

Disenchanted is being released on the 18th Nov on Disney plus (cos I quite fancy it myself)

holierthanthou73 · 16/11/2022 19:44

What’s the relevance of private school?

Ramble0n · 16/11/2022 19:44

Dirty Dancing is fine. I'm not sure what school they go to has to do with it though.

Delphigirl · 16/11/2022 19:46

Princess bride. Great for mixed groups!

alexdgr8 · 16/11/2022 19:46

sister act

Coyoacan · 16/11/2022 19:46

I was well aware of abortion by the time I was twelve. I lived quite a sheltered life but it was a frequent topic on the news.

OOlivePenderghast · 16/11/2022 19:46

Out of all of the ones I listed I’d really recommend Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. A lovely friendship message but can’t remember if there are any rude bits.

itsnotdeep · 16/11/2022 19:46

I'm also slightly confused by the private school thing - are you saying Dirty Dancing would be ok for 12 year old state school girls, but not 12 year old private school girls?

I'm not sure what the status of the school has to do with it, but there you go

I'd say Enola Holmes I think.

My (state educated) dds all love the marvel films too.

Mamarsupial · 16/11/2022 19:47

Also baffled by all private school detail. Why does this matter?

Agree with PPs suggesting 10 things I hate about you.

I was that age when I first watched Forest Gump and enjoyed it.

Greece an excellent classic

(NOT American Pie, whoever suggested that one!!)

PlentyOFool · 16/11/2022 19:48

Canuckduck · 16/11/2022 19:34

Me and my sister watched Dirty Dancing every single day one summer when we were 11 & 13. For 2 months. And swam. Aaahhh the 90’s.

My girl lives Mean Girls, Pitch Perfect and Stranger Things. She’s 13 but does not go to private school!!!

You probably shouldn't have commented then Canuckduck! Wink

But mine does! (I missed the memo about all day activists though!). She is older but has seen all of the above, she was very Hmm about Johnny Castle altogether. Thought he was a sleazy chancer who was far too old for Baby. I mean, her name was Baby! This gen is very switched on lol. She loved 10 Things...

Some I haven't see above, Little Women, Jumanji (both of them, so could do a double feature!), the live action Dora movie is surprisingly good, 13 Going on 30 (❤️), School of Rock, and always and forever The Princess Bridge.

Sorry about the ribbing OP, I couldn't help it. Don't stress too much, it sounds like they will have a great time.

Let us know what you end up watching, and how they liked it!

Mamarsupial · 16/11/2022 19:49

Oh also: Mask of Zorro / Legend of Zorro! Entertaining and funny! And Antonio Banderas if they want somebody dishy in it 😄

Cap89 · 16/11/2022 19:49

I think Pitch Perfect would be ideal. I love loads of the films suggested here, but depending on the crowd the girls might think they are a bit dated. Plus some of the 90s teen films have some quite problematic approaches to women, sex etc. Pitch perfect is more modern and really fun.

I also think you are really overthinking the private school thing. Having attended all girls private schools from 3-18 myself, I don’t recall any parents ever having a say in the films we watched when we did sleepovers at secondary. We’d just pop to blockbusters on our own and pick something. We watched some truly terrifying shit, and our parents just let us get on with it. I don’t see why private school parents would be any more protective of their kids watching choices than parents who can’t afford to send their kids to private school?

erinaceus · 16/11/2022 19:49

If they haven't seen it, Grease is a classic.

Cool runnings is a good suggestion, one of my favourites.

Romi and Michelle's High School Reunion - I loved that at that age.

Yesterday is lovely and exceedingly wholesome, basically avoids most controversial themes.

Trudij123 · 16/11/2022 19:49

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Stood the test of time brilliantly, has an amazing soundtrack and it’s the best teenager movie I’ve seen for years ( and my seven year old loves it, even if she doesn’t get all of it !)
or - maybe rent them Mrs Harris Goes to Paris - that’s really quite lovely ( though possibly the lad wouldn’t be quite so interested !)

bellac11 · 16/11/2022 19:49

Some good 80s suggestions here, like Sister Act and Cool Runnings, what about Ghostbusters, Jumping Jack Flash?

bigbadbarry · 16/11/2022 19:50

My 12 year old loves Bill and Ted, and Bend it like Beckham.
She is at a private school but has only been there for half a term so might not be doing it properly yet.

PlentyOFool · 16/11/2022 19:50

Ahem. "activities" and "Princess Bride" obvs.

I'll get me coat

Anxiousanddramatic · 16/11/2022 19:54

@minipie
American pie? Really?

pumpkinelvis · 16/11/2022 19:54

13 going on 30
Big (bit old)
Yes day

I think dirty dancing would be fine for them btw.

TheaBrandt · 16/11/2022 19:56

We really liked (when girls that age but at state school 🙄)the newer all female Ghostbusters and Oceans 13 with Sandra Bullock. Def not Dirty dancing or Grease

Coolyule · 16/11/2022 19:57

I agree with a few above suggestions- Enola Holmes’s, mean girls, freaky Friday and pitch perfect. I don’t think you’ll just be able to select the film though. When my ten yo has friends round they just decide together because for all I know the film I’ve chosen, one of his mates might hate or have watched the day before or something

Dragonskin · 16/11/2022 19:58

how to lose a guy in 10 days
27 dresses
Made of honor
Picture Perfect
Two weeks notice
Maid in Manhattan
She’s all that
Monster in law
Devil wears prada
Sweet home alabama
My best friends wedding
Runaway bride
The proposal

Flamingogirl08 · 16/11/2022 19:58

EarringsandLipstick · 16/11/2022 19:43

Not at all. There are really problematic themes around consent, control & age differences, not to mention the abortion storyline.

I watched with my DD around that age, and I love it still, but I did interject with some commentary about the above themes, so wouldn't have shown it to a group for sure.

These themes and worse are are in lots of tv shows, abortion is frequently on the news. If a child has got to 13 years of age and not come across them then I would say they are sheltered. Or maybe I'm to open with my kids!