I miss lockdown

[DeniseDenis]

Locktime lurker.
I know this is controversial, but I'm quite seriously, long-term ill at quite a young age and so I've basically always been in and out of lockdown.
I spend weeks and months on my own too ill to see people.
I don't blame anyone, there is no one to blame.
But plans are always cancelled. It's rubbish. I'm isolated simply because I'm too ill to go out.
When covid hit and everyone was forced indoors (and I'm not saying I'm glad people were ill or businesses failed and jobs were lost) I felt less alone. It's awful to admit but I was glad it wasn't just me for once whose life had ground to a halt.
I loved chatting to people via online quizzes and finally felt 'seen' at work.
And it's awful as I know loads of people struggled with it but I didn't because I was used to being in lockdown and already lived constantly with a huge degree of health uncertainty.
But now it already feels like these strides which were made to be more inclusive have been forgotten.
I get why, it was an unpleasant blip people want to forget about.
It's really lonely. I doubt I'm the only one who thinks this period is already being erased from people's minds and feels sad about it.

I hated lockdown but can see why for some there were positives. Me and my friends have carried on with some of the things we started during that time now though, instead of just a WhatsApp chat we have group video calls, more nights in together etc- have you spoken to your friends about it? Could you arrange some stuff?

It’s the opposite problem for me. I DO say no to stuff I don’t want to do, I’m very good at asserting my boundaries and being honest. But I’m constantly plagued by anxieties that I should be doing more or pushing myself instead of saying no, or that I don’t have enough friends. In lockdown those worries disappeared.

For some lock-down was a blessing and for some, not so much.

For me personally, lock-down was a blessing. I got to spend an extra year and half with my baby just as I was gonna put him in nursery to go back to work.

I was feeling so anxious about leaving him and I was happy and grateful to stay home and spend this extra time with him.

With that said, I wouldn't say I miss lock-down and do not wish to ever go back to such a time.

Why are so many people saying things like ‘stay home if you want to but don’t expect me to’? The OP is only a few paragraphs long and she makes it clear that she has a serious illness. She doesn’t WANT to stay home. She doesn’t have a choice. The whole point is that it took a lockdown to make society more inclusive for her.

Because she does have that option. She can do that now, and forever more if she wants to. So saying she ‘misses lockdown’ infers that she misses the whole thing, the whole of society shutting down, not just being able to stay in herself.

Me and my family loved lockdown. We had more time together as a family and more time to just do what we wanted to do. There was no pressure to see family and friends. Just a lot less pressure generally. We were just saying the other day how much we enjoyed it.

I look back on the first lockdown as possibly the last time I was truly happy. We had a lovely house with a large garden overlooking the sea, DH was furloughed from his high paying job with a really good rate, I managed to continue doing my PT job online. When I wasn't working we spent lazy summer days in the garden, listening to music and having the occasional day time cocktail as the weather was so good! Walking the dog and baking cakes.
Then DH was diagnosed with cancer during the second lockdown and it's been relentless. Didn't get his work contract renewed. We had to leave our lovely house. He's still battling it now after he relapsed quite quickly and I just can't imagine feeling as carefree as I did then. Oh and our dog died. I long for those days tbh.

I don't think she's saying she missing people being locked in their houses but the strides towards inclusivitity which were made during lockdown and already, quickly been forgotten.

Those channels can remain open, there is nothing to stop people organising online meet ups. The fact that in person options are now available doesn't stop that.

If you want them, organise them. I don't put time and effort into organising zoom stuff because I really really hate zoom. It has to come from those who want to use it, surely?

But part of the problem is you (and the many like you) saying you "really, really hate Zoom" @hoophoophooray. Given no option during lockdown, you used it. Now you don't. That makes it innately harder for people who are housebound not through choice. People want to forget lockdown, that's clear from the voices on this thread. I understand why... what if you physically couldn't? Is it ableist?

A lot of MN loved lockdown, I know I did. Reality is too depressing.

This isn't aimed at the OP. But people who don't have illnesses, if you don't want to see friends and family, don't. Why have nostalgia about a really horrible, economically destructive time?

Some of us had our lives decimated in lockdown.

obv this thread wasn’t aimed at you so not sure why you you opened it in the first place?

I didn't use it. I retreated into my own head and became depressed and suicidal. I can't read people properly on a flat screen, it feels flat and not connected to me.

Clearly people's lives were impacted horribly, with thousands dying. No one said that was great, nor that the economic impact was wonderful. It is possible to see the positives in things that were otherwise horrendous.

Fwiw, I lost my job and a very good friend due to COVID. I was in a very bad way with COVID myself at one point. I wouldn't say that aspect of it was at all nice, but I can look back on the time I spent with my loved ones, with the kids being home schooled and think that was nice.

If you had the right set of circumstances, the first lockdown was the 'life pause ' many of us didn't know we needed.

You needed to be on furlough or newly wfh with a low work demand, not have anyone close fall badly ill, and have some human connection if you wanted it.

We loved it personally, long summer days, all together as a family enjoying each others company, family walks which was a long forgotten activity. I paid off my overdraft through no socialising or fuel costs , we ate better and supported local businesses.

Basically, we were better people.

I fully acknowledge that for many people it was awful time, and indeed we found the second winter one pretty poor ( wfh busy, homeschooling difficult , not seeing loved ones at Christmas ).

I won't ever forget how that first one felt though.

Agree. Let alone all the people who died 😕

This sound idyllic. I have to say I wish I also experienced this. Lockdown as a CP Social worker was relentless and scary. Coupled with home schooling and literally having NO wHERE to use a loo when driving round trying to do home visits was riddiculous. I was super jealous of those on furlough- seeing neighbours and friend at the beach and having lovely country walks. We did nothing. Didn't even have any loo roll as work was so busy by the time we got to the super market it was like a flight of locus had decended on it!

I'm not bitter at all!

i miss the quiet roads
i drove to work and it was only me virtually

oh why has this post been resurrected?

Agreed.

I don't think the OP is saying she wants people to suffer and a lockdown to re-occur, just for people to remember that it was tough, and living with the shadow of illness is tough.
But for many people a lockdown is not a temporary situation but a permanent one - not of their own choosing. And they're forgotten about.
And these things which were in place when we were "all in it together": job opportunities, theatre shows etc have vanished already.
Maybe - and this sounds brutal - it would help for people to imagine what it would be like if tomorrow they became incredibly sick and couldn't do anything or leave the house but the UK wasn't in lockdown and WFH wasn't a realistic option and there was no option but to impose a lockdown on yourself.
But there's no other people you know in your situation or Zoom quizzes, so your freedom has been curtailed.

This is it basically:

www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/20/covid-lockdown-opening-up-world-for-people-with-disabilities

@Moonicorn i believe that’s exactly what she’s saying. She missed the society that was inclusive to her circumstances . People had more time for her

I loved it. I miss the quiet- hearing the birds really sing. I miss the no pressure to go and do anything. I work on a primary school so was on a rota like everyone else. I am lucky enough to live in an area where I could do daily country walks on those endless sunny days. I took up hobbies. I know I was lucky.