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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I miss lockdown

125 replies

DeniseDenis · 15/11/2022 20:59

Locktime lurker.
I know this is controversial, but I'm quite seriously, long-term ill at quite a young age and so I've basically always been in and out of lockdown.
I spend weeks and months on my own too ill to see people.
I don't blame anyone, there is no one to blame.
But plans are always cancelled. It's rubbish. I'm isolated simply because I'm too ill to go out.
When covid hit and everyone was forced indoors (and I'm not saying I'm glad people were ill or businesses failed and jobs were lost) I felt less alone. It's awful to admit but I was glad it wasn't just me for once whose life had ground to a halt.
I loved chatting to people via online quizzes and finally felt 'seen' at work.
And it's awful as I know loads of people struggled with it but I didn't because I was used to being in lockdown and already lived constantly with a huge degree of health uncertainty.
But now it already feels like these strides which were made to be more inclusive have been forgotten.
I get why, it was an unpleasant blip people want to forget about.
It's really lonely. I doubt I'm the only one who thinks this period is already being erased from people's minds and feels sad about it.

OP posts:
JamSandle · 02/03/2023 17:43

hoophoophooray · 02/03/2023 17:39

The FOMO thing though. Either you want to do things and go out and do them, or you don't want to do them and stay happily home. You don't get to tell people they can't do things because you don't want to miss out, but also don't want to leave the house?

Thats just weird and controlling.

Noone has said that.

garlictwist · 02/03/2023 17:51

I didn't really mind lockdown but I was incredibly lonely. DH's work was still allowed to be open so he was going to work every day, then they were all staying at work and having beers afterwards because there was nothing else to do/nowhere else to go so he was never in.

I was always jealous of these families sitting together working from home side by side. (Although I'm sure the reality wasn't quite as cosy...)

SunShineAllMine · 02/03/2023 17:52

Lockdown was great to have a break from the needy vampire types. I have not returned to them.

I have no FOMO, those people don't even like each other, they like drama and taking resources from others, they have no spark unless they suck life from others.

Chubbhamstercheeks · 02/03/2023 17:52

I miss it I was pregnant and even though it was devastating for some people I just felt peace and quiet simple walks no rushing

IncessantNameChanger · 02/03/2023 17:54

I hated lockdown, not so much at the time but retrospectively the damage it did to my childten.

However... I started an online zoom Group, can you try that now? I just suggested it on a hobby FB group and that was that. Enjoyed that but didn't keep it up unfortunately

Appalonia · 02/03/2023 17:55

I get it OP.I was a carer for my dad who had dementia for many years. It was hard and isolating and I felt life was passing me by. I found lockdown easier as everyone was in the same boat, at least for the first few months. A whole world of activities, community and entertainment opened up online. Now most pp have moved on, but life's the same for me. If also hoped we would create a kinder, saner world afterwards but sadly it seems like the opposite has happened. Hugs to you. X

DoubleShotEspresso · 02/03/2023 18:05

I don't really "miss" lockdown, I don't think I've ever worked so hard...
However I do miss the way it made us all stop and think for a bit about which things in life really do matter.

Things just seemed so much less complicated and I enjoyed the time we had together as a family without interruptions...

I can though completely see where your feelings must be coming from OP, could you join some more virtual groups? There are plenty still running...

Oblomov23 · 02/03/2023 18:05

I don't miss it because I missed the social side of life, so I'm glad it's getting more back to normal. Have you told your friends and colleagues how you feel?

LlynTegid · 02/03/2023 18:11

The OPs personal circumstances are different from most of us, and also was writing in November, when the darkness can dampen moods or worse. Given that I can understand why her feelings would be different from most people.

The period of Covid restrictions (in the UK we never had lockdown, ask anyone in Spain how limited their life was) is not something I miss at all. There were a few positives, and for those like me who work part of the week at home, a long term change (beneficial for me not for everyone).

megletthesecond · 02/03/2023 18:33

Another reason why lockdown was good, no IBS for 12 months. It was incredible not being in pain and uncomfortable every day for that year.

AutisticLegoLover · 02/03/2023 18:42

I hear you Flowers my ideal life involves only my nearest and dearest and lots of walks/being outdoors.

My2pence2day · 02/03/2023 18:43

I hated lockdown so much. I used to think I was resilient, and now I feel anxious. I had just had my first baby, and couldn't see anyone for 4 months I think that affected me. I also know alot of people who were negatively impacted by it, one of them my elderly father who has lost his confidence and zest for life as have many other elderly people. Another my single cousin who felt lonely and isolated. No, I don't miss it all all. It seems like a surreal time and I try not to think about it.

icelolly12 · 02/03/2023 18:46

Sounds very selfish to want to drag other people down. Misery loves company I guess.

CurlyTop1980 · 02/03/2023 19:14

I don't miss lockdown at all. My work absolutely exploded and the school wouldn't give me a key worker place so I was absolutely run ragged. 🫣

Zeroplucks202 · 02/03/2023 19:24

Covid halted a lot of business projects we had from which we have not yet recovered, my teens suffered really badly, and I feel very much for people whose elderly relations ended their days in isolation.

But op, I understand how you are feeling and you shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for it. Your perspective arises from the fact that life IS pretty rubbish for those with chronic illness or disabilities. They have to fight for every bit of support they get and facilities are woeful if you want to travel, eat in a restaurant, shop in a supermarket, or do a thousand things others take for granted. And for a few short, distinct periods of time, the world came to you, instead of you being forced in to unwanted purdah by circumstances beyond your control.

Nina9870 · 02/03/2023 19:26

I really enjoyed lockdown, but I think it’s because I had a three week old when we locked down. So I gave birth when the world was normal, my husband basically had an extended paternity leave (he was working from home, he wasn’t furloughed, but there wasn’t much to do in his company at the time)
we went for walks, shared the load of a newborn, had loads of time to cook and keep the house tidy. It was great.
however, I’m now a mum of two and don’t think I’d enjoy lockdown half as much with a three year old and a baby.
I do realise we are lucky we had a nice time. I have friends who lost family members/ have long covid, and their lives have never recovered.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/03/2023 19:29

Mitchumforthewin · 02/03/2023 16:39

Absolutely not. Anyone who misses keeping people locked in their homes for months on end just so they feel better about themselves is misguided.

I'm afraid I agree with this.

In your specific situation OP I can understand how it felt easier to live more in step with people, so in your case I can see where you're coming from.

But honestly lockdown was the worst 18 months of my life and I find it exceptionally tactless and insensitive when people go on about how wonderful it was being at home with their kids growing melons and crafting. For most people it was unmitigated hell and it did a huge amount of damage to our kids.

So for those of you who just liked it because it allowed them to indulge their pastoral fantasies, a period of silence on your part would be greatly appreciated.

Cherryblossom1985 · 02/03/2023 19:31

I'm sorry to hear about your situation OP, but I don't think I'll ever be the same again.
Before Covid, I lived a pretty quiet life.
Lockdown has affected my mental health to the extent I'm on antidepressants.

I used to love going food shopping and now I hate it.
It's sucked the enjoyment out of life for me.

My DH has been stuck wfh, staring at a wall behind his computer screen for over 3 years, caught Covid three times and now has long Covid. Our DS has had to have counselling because of isolation and loneliness and it affected his GCSE results.

So in a nutshell, I don't miss lockdown and hope we never have to experience it again.

Tinybrother · 02/03/2023 19:37

I can’t participate in lots of things at the moment for various reasons but one of the things I realised during lockdowns was how much joy I get from knowing that others are out and about having fun doing things they enjoy, knowing that creative and collaborative things like concerts and exhibitions and that parties are happening, so no I don’t really understand the OP missing lockdown.

I’m an introvert but don’t feel like extroverts dominate the world or the way I live my life, I’m perfectly capable of saying no where I need to.

taxguru · 02/03/2023 19:37

YABU.

There's SO much more available online now because of Covid. Yes, things have mostly got back to "normal" for most people, but lots of the things that were started or expanded during lockdowns still remain.

My DS suffered awfully - he couldn't finish his A level course and then went to Uni in Sept 2020 to find it fundamentally closed - no "in person" teaching for the first full year (and only partial in person for the second year!), library closed, campus shops/cafes closed, his subject building was locked and in darkness for the entire year. Because he wasn't taught the final parts of his A level, he struggled with the Uni work as they were thrown straight in on the assumption that all expected topics had been taught, so he had to "teach himself" the bits he wasn't taught (no remedial help from the Uni!). They weren't allowed to "mix" on campus as the Uni went far over and above the official restrictions. He went from a confident (but shy) 18 year old to a gibbering wreck - he didn't miss the partying as that's not his scene anyway and we wouldn't have done it even if it had been allowed. It was basically stuck in his tiny room 24/7 and only really going out for a walk around the deserted campus, passing equally depressed/gloomy other students!

The only thing that kept him sane was some old local primary school friends who set up an online "quiz" night every week over the internet. It started with just a handful, but after a few months, more and more people had been "invited" to join it, and they ended up with a few dozen! It's still going today, numbers are a lot lower again, but it's been a brilliant way for them to get through the restrictions and lockdowns. That's just one example of something that only started because of lockdowns that is still there for those who need it - apparently, nowadays it's more of a chat/social group for them to keep in touch!

Dominoeffecter · 02/03/2023 19:39

I don’t miss it at all, I think yanbu to feel the way you do though.

TrixiesPillboxHat · 02/03/2023 19:41

yanbu. I feel great nostalgia for lockdown

User18695438 · 02/03/2023 19:46

I'm retired so it didn't make much difference, apart from not going on holiday. We went out as usual for long walks like we do now

Tinybrother · 02/03/2023 19:47

I can understand some people having had a nice time in lockdowns (though I believe some of the things that were enjoyed could be replicated in a non-lockdown situation), but not the requirement that other people also be locked down to give you the positive feelings.

Cupofteaaa5 · 02/03/2023 19:50

I don't miss it. I found it to be a very scary and uncertain time. Knowing I had to stay in my house to keep people from dying was terrifying. Knowing I couldn't hug my mum was terrifying. Being told to stay home, but then also having to go into work (I work in a special school) with kids who didn't understand social distancing was terrifying.

I dont think I'll ever be the same. I already suffered with anxiety before lockdowns, but I now have a severe anxiety disorder. I honestly feel like the lockdowns constituted trauma for me. Those who felt calmer and happier - how? Thousands of people were dying every day? There was a constant threat of serious illness? I don't understand it.

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