Should I change my sons name to please my MIL?

[97DS]

Ever since we found out baby was going to be a boy DH and I have had his name chosen. MIL has made subtle digs throughout pregnancy at how she’s not a fan of the name, and if we’ve considered anything else. I just dodge the question and ignore it because I don’t have the energy to argue with her. She can be very opinionated and very stubborn.
baby is now a week old, and not officially registered yet but we have announced his full name to friends/family/social media.
MIL has gone out of her way at every opportunity to make a comment on his name. Even after a traumatic birth which landed me in theatre with major haemorrhaging, her first text to DH was asking what baby’s name is going to be.

She’s been talking to family behind our back saying how disappointed she is, as well as pulling DH aside to privately ask if we would change the name. MIL is purposely avoiding saying his name, and has opted to calling him Jnr instead… That’s just the issue with his 1st name. Keep reading…

she also has a massive issue with his middle name too. DH has 2 middle names (X & Y) and when we chose baby’s name, we decided to use middle name Y so it followed the family tree as a tribute to the dads (Y runs quite far back in the male side of the family tree) and also, Y is my fathers middle name too so it seemed very sentimental to us all.
We’ve had a lot of compliments on his name from DH’s side of the family because we chose middle name Y. But MIL has kicked off BIG TIME. Pulling out crocodile tears and directly asking DH to change the middle name to something that tributes MIL’s family instead.
However, there’s only 2 male names to pick from if we were to consider it, and both names are awful, I genuinely don’t like them, and they don’t even go with baby boys 1st name, and would make the surname seem like a mouthful if you were to say it out loud.
My argument is, it’s not her baby so it’s not her business what his name is. She had the opportunity 30 years ago to tribute her family and that’s why DH’s middle name is X. But baby’s name isn’t meant to be a tribute to her family, it’s a tribute to DH’s family, as well as my own.

Yes we could just keep the peace and add a 2nd middle name that she wants, but I don’t want that. As his mother, I should be the one who has final say and I don’t want him to have 2 middle names, and I certainly don’t want to change his name under the pressure and influence of MIL. DH has agreed with me throughout pregnancy what his name is, but now MIL is getting into his head and playing a guilt card, DH is now having 2nd thoughts because he doesn’t like to upset MIL. I know it’s not what he wants either but his MIL is so good at minipulating everything to get her own way. She puts words into DH’s mouth and convinces him they’re his own. So now DH and I argue over this.
what’s your thoughts? AIBU to stick my guns and keep my sons name how it is, or should I reason with MIL, and change the name just to keep her happy?

@JFDIYOLO... I like that idea.

However, rather than giving her an original copy, take the original and photocopy it - ensuring to cover up the official seal. Goodness knows WHAT someone might do with an official birth certificate... I'd never want anyone to have a copy of my child's birth certificate, excluding official government agencies who need it for a legitimate reason. You never know what sort of fraud they might commit with it.

You don’t need to give mil a copy of the birth certificate. That is for you, and in the future, for your son.
Mil can accept it or go away. That is her choice to make. And if she continues to call him junior, tell her she won’t be allowed to visit if she’s going to continue her nonsense.

Birth certificates are public documents. Anyone who knows your child's name, DOB and the district where they were registered can get an official copy exactly the same as the one the parents get when they register the baby. The original is the one at the registry office. There's nothing any of us could do about people buying official versions of our birth certificates, our kids or anyone else's.

You do have to give a reason for requesting a copy though... Imo your mil would prob tell them she is going to tipex it out and put her choice on there!

That would be kind of hilarious.....

Well done OP!

I hope you are recovering; your little boy is doing well; and that your husband having hung onto his balls by a whisker, remembers to keep them well away from his overbearing mother in future.

Oh Jesus I don't even know where to start with this so I will just quote you
"My argument is, it’s not her baby so it’s not her business what his name is."
She can be disappointed all she wants. It's YOUR baby. Not hers. I would consider uninviting her to future events until she grows up, stops talking about you behind your back and comes back down to this planet

Good for you mum (and dad)! No need to argue with or eliminate grandma just yet. Relax, give your hormones a chance to settle, don't engage in drama with anyone but let your mil be the special person in baby's life that only a grandparent can be. He is your baby, you will raise him and name him as you see fit because you are his parents. Don't worry that grandparents will take over or love him more ( so many new parents fear this now!). They will love him as only grandparents can and you will be his parents forever. And there is no such thing as too many people loving your child.

Well done, good on you