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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To , just once ,ask is anyone else fed up of being the squeezed middle?

535 replies

Wildandallthatjazz · 14/11/2022 17:12

Thats it really. !

Yes , on mn , its seen as a privilege to have a mortgage, a job etc .

But sometimes it feels hard and you just wish that you got a break . Recognition of the hard slog maybe .

I am not begrudging those on benefits who got the extra payment support, its more about just wanting to have a treat / a bonus/ etc .. a spare bit of money.. a boost .. the heating on … or maybe recognition that the middle can struggle too ?

I totally accept that people can struggle and need help , sort of also feel the struggling middle are invisible ? ( and not seen to have the’ right ‘to have a little moan as it does you good sometimes )

I do think we are incredibly lucky to live in a county with a welfare state, nhs, free gp care I really do .
But sometimes, it just would be nice not to feel you are paying taxes , working as much as possible, and to be able not to feel squeezed all the time and the need to just have a grump about it .

sometimes it is good to let of steam .. when you cant IRL

and then you move on in a more positive fashion .

OP posts:
BosaNova · 14/11/2022 21:04

Stressedmum2017 · 14/11/2022 20:58

I've been both and its far harder and more miserable being a single parent topped up by benefits, renting. Yeah it is tough not being completely loaded like some but would I swap and be in the position I was in a few years ago? Absolutely not, and if everyone was honest, none of you would swap.

That's what makes me laugh about all those complaining about benefit claimers living the life of riley, yet don't do it themselves because truth is if they were genuinely convinced they would be better off they could all jack their jobs in tomorrow and join the housing register but they dont because deep down they know full well they wouldn't be better off.

It may come you know. This is fairly new to many people. Once they get into minus in a bit, they might really be in exact same financial situation as if they were on benefits....

Lauren1983 · 14/11/2022 21:06

QualityAndQuantity · 14/11/2022 20:31

Those numbers don’t add up. Just working 40 hours per week is £20,000 per year on minimum wage, and you’re then getting over £5,000 per year for your one day per week.

How can your total income be only this if your husband is doing shirt work and also getting lots of overtime?

I work 2 days a week not one. Sorry if that was not clear. My DP gets a set hourly wage, the shifts are just standard - no extra pay. The overtime is not guaranteed. It might push us up a grand or two at most and then we will probably have to pay back the £600 tax credits we have been given this year.

dorib · 14/11/2022 21:09

I guess it is a matter of opinion, but I feel that is pretty unfair and I hope payment for furlough will be loaded towards those that benefited from it.

I see this argument constantly & it makes me despair at the lack of intelligence! How can you not pay someone when you have forced their job to stop? And no I wasn't furloughed & yes I worked throughout. The idea that you can do a lockdown & prevent people from working & tell them to stay home but without any money is dumber than dumb.

MidnightMeltdown · 14/11/2022 21:10

Endwalker · 14/11/2022 20:49

For those who think loads of people are playing the system, benefit fraud makes up a tiny percentage of the overall welfare spend and by tiny I mean around 1-2%.

The total number of people claiming DWP benefits is around 23 million. Of that around 12.5 million are pensioners, 9.5 million are working age, and the remainder are children in receipt of Disability Living Allowance.

There will be some.overlap where people are claiming more than one benefit but of that 9.5 million working age adults, around 1.9 million are in receipt of ESA (what used to be part of Incapacity Benefit). 1.3 million are in receipt of Carers Allowance. Around 2.7 million are in receipt of PIP.

Around 5.6 million receive Universal Credit. Around 40% of these are in work. The remainder are either in the 'looking for work' category meaning they have requirements to meet or else face sanctions, or they are in the 'no requirement to work' category meaning they are unable to work for specific reasons (e.g., caring responsibilities, disability, etc).

There are only around 301,000 claimants in the 'looking for work' category who have been unemployed for more than a year - a small percentage of the 5.6 million in receipt of UC.

In work maybe, but what about full time work? Many people will work just a few hours a week so that they can claim as much as possible.

QualityAndQuantity · 14/11/2022 21:11

Lauren1983 · 14/11/2022 21:06

I work 2 days a week not one. Sorry if that was not clear. My DP gets a set hourly wage, the shifts are just standard - no extra pay. The overtime is not guaranteed. It might push us up a grand or two at most and then we will probably have to pay back the £600 tax credits we have been given this year.

That’s hard for your DP, if he’s on minimum wage (or very close to it) yet having to do shifts. Is that a permanent arrangement?

ghostyslovesheets · 14/11/2022 21:12

maybe look to the employers who used the furlough scheme to pay workers while being very rich themselves - people whose workplaces were closed had no choice - did you expect bar staff to go and stand in empty pubs all night?

WindyKnickers · 14/11/2022 21:15

I think one of the problems is that we have, as a country, certainly the middle classes and upper WC, had it pretty good for a long time until recently. Very low interest rates have meant people have big mortgages and big houses, we have got used to having nice cars on finance, regular foreign holidays, disposable income to spend on whatever. All things that were very nice but were only there because the cost of living was actually artificially low. Now we have the perfect storm of post Brexit, post covid spending, war in Europe and the financial markets are taking the strain but as previous interest rates were very low for a very long time we now struggle to adjust our lifestyles to what we can afford. I'm not sure more government hand outs is the answer really. I think we all need a wake up call that actually frittering our money away was a luxury and that isn't the way forward. Downsizing our lives (fewer "treats", smaller mortgages etc) and reducing our expectations is probably where we need to head.

Erber · 14/11/2022 21:15

Absolutely. I would consider myself to be in this category even though we don't have a mortgage. Over the past 10 years myself and partner have always worked, mostly full time except when I was on mat leave and for a couple of years when I was a student I worked part time. We've always been low earners and we're previously entitled to some child tax credit to top up our income.

Last year myself and my partner both got new jobs and in doing so doubled our household income. We've been very frugal over the last year paying off debt we accrued over the last few years (due to simply not having enough coming in to cover the bills). We haven't seen any benefit at all for our hard work and lost our entitlement to benefits, so no help with cost of living crisis. We've lost far more than We've gained. It's a massive kick in the teeth to work so hard and never get anywhere. We live in a high poverty area (because that's the only place we can afford to rent) and it is frustrating that 90% of people are unemployed yet have more disposable income than us. I don't blame them at all, I blame the people in charge!

Lauren1983 · 14/11/2022 21:16

QualityAndQuantity · 14/11/2022 21:11

That’s hard for your DP, if he’s on minimum wage (or very close to it) yet having to do shifts. Is that a permanent arrangement?

Yes permanent. The shifts are not too bad really 6.30am to 3.30pm and 9.30am to 6pm. In his last job he did nights one week and days the next which was a lot worse.

namechanging21 · 14/11/2022 21:17

Endwalker · 14/11/2022 20:49

For those who think loads of people are playing the system, benefit fraud makes up a tiny percentage of the overall welfare spend and by tiny I mean around 1-2%.

The total number of people claiming DWP benefits is around 23 million. Of that around 12.5 million are pensioners, 9.5 million are working age, and the remainder are children in receipt of Disability Living Allowance.

There will be some.overlap where people are claiming more than one benefit but of that 9.5 million working age adults, around 1.9 million are in receipt of ESA (what used to be part of Incapacity Benefit). 1.3 million are in receipt of Carers Allowance. Around 2.7 million are in receipt of PIP.

Around 5.6 million receive Universal Credit. Around 40% of these are in work. The remainder are either in the 'looking for work' category meaning they have requirements to meet or else face sanctions, or they are in the 'no requirement to work' category meaning they are unable to work for specific reasons (e.g., caring responsibilities, disability, etc).

There are only around 301,000 claimants in the 'looking for work' category who have been unemployed for more than a year - a small percentage of the 5.6 million in receipt of UC.

DWPs own estimate is 4% of benefit expenditure was £8.6 billion lost due to Fraud and Error in 21/22.

£8.6 billion!

FacebookPhotos · 14/11/2022 21:17

I agree with you in theory. I earn a bit above the UK average salary. I’m single so CoL in general is higher than couples, but have no kids. Having a moan every now and then is cathartic.

Our country has been massively screwed over, but mostly by the electorate. We voted for this. Brexit, Tory party, public clamouring for lockdown. Interest rates were always going to rise at some point, but the public loved low-rate mortgages. The problems we’re facing are largely due to things the citizens wanted so it is our own (collective) fault we’re in this mess.

So what alternatives are there at this point? No CoL payment for those on the lowest incomes so they (mostly) have to cut down on even the most basic food or have dangerously cold homes? Children whose parents refuse to work taken in to care (expensive as well as appalling)? Further reduce funding for the NHS / schools / care homes?

Life is quite crap right now for loads of people. But, as part of the squeezed middle, I’d prefer to cut down on the disposable income stuff, wear blankets / jumpers at home and switch to cheap supermarkets (rather than Tesco). The alternatives aren’t acceptable.

ilovesushi · 14/11/2022 21:17

DH and I both work full time in decent jobs but we are definitely feeling the squeeze as a family. Really feel for those on lower incomes.

LocalHobo · 14/11/2022 21:17

I read today that 42% of adults in the UK pay zero income tax.
I guess that is why those of us who do pay, feel pretty wrung dry.

FacebookPhotos · 14/11/2022 21:18

DWPs own estimate is 4% of benefit expenditure was £8.6 billion lost due to Fraud and Error in 21/22.

Source? Sorry to be that person, but last time I checked more money was “saved” by mistakenly underpaying benefits than was lost to fraudulent claims.

Blossomtoes · 14/11/2022 21:20

MidnightMeltdown · 14/11/2022 20:51

So did I, but benefits are a lot more generous these days than they were then

I don’t think they are. I was a single parent on benefits in the late 70s. I could afford to heat my flat. I don’t think someone in the same position could now.

Cuppasoupmonster · 14/11/2022 21:20

If we hadn’t locked down we would be in such a strong financial position in the world at the moment. I do begrudge it if I’m honest.

Grumpybutfunny · 14/11/2022 21:21

It's not only the currently being the squeezed middle but the fact their no end in site. If say we said hey we owe X due to COVID which divided by the population is Y per person deducted at % per month I could happily live with that.

To me the threat of higher tax, higher council tax, cuts to essential services take away the incentive to go out and better yourself. What's the point in putting in a 48 hour week working overtime to lose 40% to income tax before you even start on NI etc.

It would be nice if we set a lifetime maximum tax take and lived within our means as a country.

ghostyslovesheets · 14/11/2022 21:24

Blossomtoes · 14/11/2022 21:20

I don’t think they are. I was a single parent on benefits in the late 70s. I could afford to heat my flat. I don’t think someone in the same position could now.

Yes - when my dad left my mum, she had her mortgage interest paid I'm sure (I was little so I'm not 100%) as part of her benefits

Endwalker · 14/11/2022 21:24

VeronicaFranklin · 14/11/2022 21:03

Yep I agree,

I mentioned something on here a while back about how those with a two working parent household who aren't entitled to any help with childcare costs will struggle in current climate...and honestly it became a competition of who was worst off between everyone.

I got told just because me and my DH both work (although I'm on mat leave atm) and we have an affordable mortgage we worked hard to get and we live within our means that we are lucky and aren't allowed to complain that we will struggle with current cost of living.

Everyone will struggle, some more than others. There is always someone better and someone worse off than you. Doesn't mean you can't complain about how you are feeling or your personal circumstances. Everyone's situation is different.

Of course I feel for those reliant purely on benefits, especially those with ill health who aren't able to work or try better their situation, but that isn't to say I can't also be allowed to say actually as a two working parent household I'm scared to put the heating on with a 4 month old baby who is currently asleep beside me in two vests, a sleep suit and 3.5 tog grobag...and that I'm worried about not being financially viable for me to go back to work because of the cost of childcare taking all of my salary effectively meaning I'll be working full time just to cover cost of someone else looking after my DD.

I think everyone just needs to have a bit of understanding that most people will suffer in the current climate one way or another and that we all need to be more gentle with one another.

And people do have sympathy with it. I wholeheartedly agree that it's a shit situation that is going to get even shittier for a lot of people but anger should be directed at the top. The government could mitigate against these issues, they could take measures to improve rhe situation,but they choose not to because they'd rather line their own pockets and those of their friends.

Having said that, punching down and taking it out on those at the bottom isn't going to magically improve your situation. If the government take away their benefits, they aren't going to hand it over to the middle. They're going to keep it and society is going to fracture even further alongside all the knock-on effects of increased poverty.

MarshaBradyo · 14/11/2022 21:26

Cuppasoupmonster · 14/11/2022 21:20

If we hadn’t locked down we would be in such a strong financial position in the world at the moment. I do begrudge it if I’m honest.

Florida is apparently benefitting from more open economy back then. I thought it would be the case, but also the war has impacted hugely too.

CopOut27 · 14/11/2022 21:27

@Erber

So the point you’re making is it doesn’t pay to work (at that salary). It’s a huge issue as the benefits bill is too high relative to taxes raised but if taxes increase too much, it is little incentive for ‘average’ earners as you said yourself. To keep increasing corporation tax depresses economic growth which is one big reason we’re in this mess. No easy answers others than it’s going to be painful.

jenkel · 14/11/2022 21:27

Yes, we feel exactly like this, both work, teenage dds with one going off to uni next year which we will have to support. Freezing cold at home as we can’t afford the heating, trying to save every penny we can and no spare for treats. Worked all the way through covid at home which was a struggle, all of us trying to work and kids doing school work, no furlough for us, and it fact we probably worked longer hours during covid as we just couldn’t walk away from it and no extra money, I’m worried sick about energy as potentially no help for us. We do have a big mortgage, dh was a contractor and lost a big chunk of his pay due to ir35, we just about managed that but this cost of living crisis is pushing us way beyond our means. Not many options, can’t really downsize as nothing selling at the moment. I do appreciate that we have a reasonably nice home and we are lucky but just feel that we need a little break.

Endwalker · 14/11/2022 21:28

LocalHobo · 14/11/2022 21:17

I read today that 42% of adults in the UK pay zero income tax.
I guess that is why those of us who do pay, feel pretty wrung dry.

Some of those adults will be full time students, some will be disabled, unwell, or carers, some of them will be people who are working but earn under the income tax threshold for whatever reason.

Abra1t · 14/11/2022 21:29

theworldhas · 14/11/2022 20:17

…. which is the bit that Sunak and co need to try very hard to disguise. Millions of people in Britain are not struggling in the least. They would be at the top of any league table with their French, German, Australian counterparts. By developed country standards - Britain is a country with a few million exceptionally well off people, a large middle of people who are doing okay but whose living standards pale in comparison to the middles elsewhere in Western Europe, and then a bottom 10% which is constantly blamed for everything and targeted whenever politically expedient.

Actually recent research showed greater wealth polarisation in Germany. Not sure about the others.

Article

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/92d1dd96-5628-11ed-a03e-f7ac672386f7?shareToken=5e7f4606b75a8417a6391602544cdfef

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