To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

So you're unhappy with his current school but haven't bothered to fill out the form or sort the necessary documents until the night before the deadline? Great parenting there. Also you've made a LOT of assumptions about the fees - why was this not something you looked into before you laid out the £100?

Are you kidding me. My niece had an IQ of 154 at age 7 and that dropped to 110 by age 16. She was very advanced (learned to read by age 4, for example) and the school did not set an appropriate program for her although she was accelerated two times. She was bored, lost interest in school and just scraped through A levels.

So yes, you can really be too clever for state school. Whether this is any better in private school I don't know. I think home schooling or a private tutor would have been best for my niece.

It is very arrogant to say that your child is too clever for state school. It implies that you look down your nose at families in the state system, from which my three daughters (two of whom are very gifted and talented) have done very well.

On the one hand you are waxing lyrical about how very bright he is, passing every test with ease etc., and on the other you are saying that he may not pass the entrant's exam!

If you want to have any chance of getting the bursary then you will have to fill in the form and get it back to them by the deadline tomorrow, whether you like it or not. How can they be expected to assess your needs without the necessary information?

You're being extremely silly. If you want the bursary then apply for it now. If you don't want it then don't bother, but you'll struggle if your son wins the place and you have no funding for him.

Yabu. If you want to be considered for a bursary in the event your son passes the entrance exam then meet the deadline. If not you can't complain if he misses out on a bursary and you have to turn a place down.

Their game, their rules… take it or leave it

Wtf is this thread?

The OP states "he is too clever for his state school". We don't know what other state schools are available in the area and the OP isn't asking for advice about other state schools.

I understand it is annoying. They want you to pay for the privilege of complete finance strip down for him to be allowed to sit a test. I doubt they will actually evaluate all of them now, maybe they just want to test compliance and have it ready for when the tests are done.

Letting the children sit the tests first and proving financial situation later would be an option as well, they just decided to not use it, and as the rest of the thread insists, unfortunately it is the situation.

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

beep

OP please ignore all these people who are outraged that you have the audacity to say out loud that your son is very bright. A classroom full of 'average' children is certainly no place for him and in my experience the school will do nothing extra to stimulate him. I don't know if it will be any better at private school, but
please fill in the application correctly so he will have that option if you do decide this is is the way to go.

That's not too clever for state school, that's the school she went to didn't give her what she needed. A different state school might have.

Or her parents could have found a better state that stretched her and met her needs better.

One crap school is just that, one crap school. That her parents didnt bother their arses to move her somewhere better (but still somehow managed to get her IQ tested....) is on them, not the system she was educated in.

If your embarrassed filling out the form then your in for a shock.

Your low income will be glaringly obvious to the school and the kids. They will see where you live and what you have or don’t have.

You won’t be able to keep up with the standard of living , the clothing , holidays , trips and everything else that comes with the private education. The costs on top of the standard fees and all the extra activities.

The child will be the odd one out and suffer.
You would be better to put the child in a grammar school where you won’t be put under financial pressure.

Could you see yourself going to Harrords for school clothes ?

YABU if you want to get it. Just do what you have to do. Which isn't to say you can't find it annoying.

My niece had an IQ of 154 at age 7 and that dropped to 110 by age 16.

beep

Hardly random. It's someone you have applied to for financial support.

Good luck.

I forgot to say when I was at school everyone knew who had a scholarship, a bursary and the families with no money relying on the rich families for donations towards their bills. It was common knowledge amongst staff and children. This is the reality when you ask for a handout

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.
Doesn’t sound that complicated. What is it you’re worried about with sharing the information? It’s data protected: they’re not going to put your car registration in the school newsletter.

Its really interesting that when anybody on MN criticises a state school, the following threads boast of how amazing the state school THEIR DC attended was. The problem is there are TOO MANY crap state schools. Having a few decent ones provided the DCs are even eligible for them, does not mean state schools are good.

Hardly random. It's someone you have applied to for financial support

Yes, that’s a very good point. Presumably these are professionals with qualifications and experience. Somewhat disrespectful to call them “randoms”.

@ZiriForEver It is exactly that. I’ve never had experience of scholarship assessments for private school so have no idea what they entail. I’d be surprised if he didn’t score enough but can’t assume anything.

I obviously don’t expect a bursary to be awarded without vigorous financial checks but I feel uncomfortable divulging all that information when he may not even be offered a place. Mainly embarrassment I suppose for our shit financial situation. We rent in an expensive area and have debt due to me not being able to work for many years and now only part time as another DC (young adult) is disabled and still needs a lot of support.

There is an outstanding school in our area with higher GCSE grades but our disabled DC attended there and he was treated disgracefully, discriminated against and my relationship with the school completely broke down before I had no choice but to remove him. The Head was blatantly trying to bully me to get rid of him so there’s no way I would send DS there! It is also well known for bullying amongst students not being dealt with and older DS suffered that as well.

DS doesn’t particularly want to move schools as he has a lot of friends and enjoys the social side but he is definitely bored and frustrated so is very demotivated in the mornings especially,, with deep sighing about going to school! He has said he’s happy to do the assessments for a bit fun to see what he gets and take it from there.

Thank you @2late only on MN is saying your kid is clever met with such derision. I was not at all saying his peers in state school are ‘thick’ just that the curriculum is not enough for HIM.

@Wintersnowflakes I’ve thought of that. DS is not the type of kid who will care though. He is very mature, very logical in his thinking that us being ‘poor’ is no reflection on him. Very thick skinned too. He’s already been bullied for being clever and dealt with it himself, refused to let us intervene and he was right! All he’ll care about is what he’s learning and enjoying it.

Looking forward to the dispatches from Oxford Brookes after a few years…

@MxGrinch Hope you find the best solution for your son. The school should give him work that challenges him whatever level of development he is at... sadly they are so busy trying to drag the 'challenged' ones up to average level that the gifted ones get ignored.

@MxGrinch - I would say firstly have you researched the private school properly - Private does not not always = better. It may be in your case - but just a point. Also if Ds is getting bored , does he have an appetite for learning - could he speak to a teacher about further reading / excercises etc to be done at home - not all education is just about exams or sitting in class.

You lost me at 'way too clever for his state school'

Nah, he’s set on Cambridge. Actually first thing he said to me when I discussed it with him was ‘if I go a private school, won’t that lower my chances of getting into Cambridge as a disadvantaged student’ 😂.