To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

YABVU- how can they possibly assess if you need the place subsidised if you don’t tell them your income and outgoings??

They don’t know you, they won’t hold your private banking information or discuss it. If you don’t submit it, fine, but then don’t expect your child to get a bursary - they can’t just take it on trust.

If he's as clever as you think he'll do well anywhere. I have two first class degrees and a masters thanks to my "substandard" state education.

Would they put the deadline off til Tuesday if you tell them the dog ate the application form?

It’s passed down their fathers side, hasn’t it?

Surely your son will pass the entrance exam since he's so clever.

I am looking into getting DC into private school as he is way too clever for his state school. *
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hahahahahha

OP, you have said that he is too clever, therefore you must think that he will pass the entrance exam? Yet you are saying that you dont want to fill in forms in case he doesnt get in? Which one is it then?

Your choice. There’ll be plenty of other children applying. No one will care if you don’t.

This is good advice. His current school may well be unwilling to extend him, that doesn't mean you can't find a public school that will. It's not state vs private it's whether the individual school will meet his needs.

You want the place, you fill in the forms. Simple as that really. If you don't want to that's up to you but then your child will just have to bear it with the thickos at the local comp

If your son is that clever could he not fill in the forms for you?

The teaching may be the "same" but the experience probably is not.

In one private school I know of, gifted children are put into a special class designed to stretch them, with more subjects at more challenging levels, different and additional extra curricular topics. Working at least 1 year ahead in all subjects. At the local state schools, the gifted kids are bored and not stretched.

In another, class sizes as small as 8 sometimes with two teachers at a time meant much more personalised teaching. Also some A level subjects had multiple teachers for different modules to play to their strengths. Native speakers for languages and so on.

Behaviour generally excellent throughout both schools too.

I would suggest that educating your child privately is not perhaps for you if you cannot understand the rudimentary requirements of assessing whether your child could qualify for a bursary place and all that it entails.

As others have pointed out the fees are a very large part of the equation but other factors come into play as well.

If your DC is very bright they might also do just fine with state schooling and the right support from you as well.

What exactly is your main concern? That they are asking for this information at all, that they are asking for it now, that the form is too complicated or something else?

My son was awarded a bursary for 6th form and indeed the forms were rather time consuming, but I don't remember them being complicated. With most information online you should easily be able to get hold of what they need.

They need all the information so they can make informed decisions as to who they give their money to. If you're finding them too hard or don't have some of the information I would encourage you to contact the bursar as soon as possible, they are usually pretty helpful.

So, op, what do you see as your role in his education? Parents are partners in their DCs' education.

I had an extremely bright son who became passionate about all sorts of things as a kid - art, music, mythology, birdwatching, languages, geology. His younger siblings had their own interests, but many coincided with DS1's. Their primary was a low-decile, multi-cultural school, with kids who had many social issues, and the principal, who was also DS's Year 6 teacher, left the 4 brightest kids to work independently. They had a wonderful time exploring each other's, complementary, interests. I made a point of taking all my kids, and some of DS's "group" on field trips to look at archeological sites that I had worked on. We travelled for miles to watch rare birds, and did all the research about genus and species, their Latin meanings, habitat and migration patterns. We went to museums wherever we found them. We had Japanese and French homestays so that my DC could become acquainted with other cultures and languages first-hand. They learned Japanese Kanji and cuisine. We stayed on marae and learned Maori cultural practices. We played spelling games on long trips in the car, and snuggled down in the big bed of an evening to make up silly limericks - such a useful adjunct to English classes.

They all learned to swim at a very young age, how to be water confident, and how to react to emergencies. We went camping in the bush, and they learned bushcraft and survival skills. We canoed down the Whanganui River - 4 days and nights of being in total wilderness, surrounded by mountains and completely out of contact of any sort. We had cats and dogs and chickens. I went on courses abroad, and brought them back fascinating realia of other cultures.

We bought books on astronomy, Polynesian navigation, archaeology, marine biology, evolution...their choice. They ran cross-country, played hockey and netball, swam competitively, learned the cello and the trumpet. We did a tour of the entire South Island in our little old beat-up car, to see the whales, seals and penguins, camping out on beaches. I read to them for an hour every night, and each child had their own "sleepy time music" of their own choice . DS has taught himself Ancient Greek, Portuguese, and speaks fluent Japanese. He has DC of his own, whom he has raised in exactly the same way. A rich, varied, expansive education beyond the classroom.

You have to remember, OP, that YOU are your child's primary educator. It takes time, effort and dedication. Ultimately, however, it will be a LOT cheaper than a private education, because, believe me, having the fees, or part thereof paid is only the start of the real cost. Several different uniforms, sports fees and costs, school trips... it swallows up a fortune. Be a great role model, take time to do research on things that interest him, challenge him to fun quizzes and games. It will pay huge dividends.

I think you are right to try to get him into a private school if you think he will do better there.

There has to be more than one surely though and you must have applied to others? YABU not to fill in the forms.

If I can afford to send DC to private school, I will do so for the reasons listed in this thread - specialised teachers, small classes, better resources, hopefully eliminate the need for additional tuition.

I'd also look around for better state schools than the one he is currently in (which sounds like the type of school my own DC are in - half hearted approaches to everything). Can you move so you are in the catchment for a better school?

Them? Who is 'them'?

5 minutes ago he was really clever?

The state school nearest me has class sizes of 30+. The private school near me has class sizes of 15, max. How is that "the same" teaching? The private school pupils will get twice the teacher attention.

He should pass it he's too clever for state school. Most private schools take the cleverest people who can afford it. So there will be many cleverer kids in the state school, who can't afford it. So if he is very smart, surely you don't need to worry. Or if he fails then there will be many better than him academically at state school and so he won't be too clever.

Do they need to know if he can afford it before offering places? So is doing the bursary now important to determine who should get the place

this thread seems to be written by a tory HQ (incompetent) intern. To get people riled up.

DD’s state school reduced TAs to increase teachers and reduce class sizes - there’s 24 in her class max. State schools vary so look around.

Also bear in mind they're selecting the parents as well as the child. Don't make yourself "that parent".

It doesn’t work like that. Your DC will need to do the test. In the background, the bursar will be checking your finances so they can decide whether to offer him a bursary or not. It’s an complete waste of their time you applying for a bursary, only for them to find you can actually afford the fees.

we don’t even know if he’ll pass the entrance test I thought you think he's incredibly intelligent?

No child is 'too clever' for state school 😂

And you want the school to basically give lots of money to educate your child... but you can't be bothered to spend ages on detailing your financial information so they can make sure you actually are a deserving case?? THEY don't want to waste their time on YOU unless it's clear that you tick all the boxes!