To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

it's the batshit use of the word "randoms" that makes me chuckle.

I went to a highly competitive, entry-by-exam only, private school. One thing that did get kicked out of a lot of students early on was this belief they were totally brilliant. Even if they were. That is something to watch out for, OP, if your DS gets in and it's ok. Boasting is frowned upon (hope he doesn't catch it from you)

Learning isn't about sitting gcse papers early. That's about getting satisfaction from test results. If he wants to learn there are any number of books to read. Your idea that he's too clever for state school is nonsensical.

It really isn't. And a lot of private schools pay less wages and don't pay into the teachers pension. Much easier to be an OK teacher in private school than a state one.

Not necessarily. The teachers could teach the same, just have less books to mark. And OPs son as the bursary student will not be encouraged to moan that he's bored and not being challenged.

@Q2C4
Only if the teacher can be arsed to give twice the amount of attention. Sure, they potentially can. But in the teaching world, private schools are an easy way out for lazier teachers.

@MxGrinch you come across as very self entitled and up you own a$$ good luck with your gifted child whatever happens

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

They really couldn't be clearer: no return, no bursary.

If you are not prepared to be open about your financials, your DC will not be considered for a bursary.

Seems fair enough to me.

Many private schools are selective and choose only the most academically able.

OP, do check all the small print.

It is highly unlikely that they will offer you a 100% bursary, so there will be money to pay.

Also check whether uniform costs are covered, or to how much. Private school uniforms are usually extremely expensive.

Lunch costs. What’s the deal on trips?

Check everything upfront. If you do need to pay a proportion and think you can afford it bear in mind that the cost may rise by 10% every year.

I get that he is currently bored and not challenged by his current school.

But he does have friends. Once he is in GCSE sets it is more likely that classes will be set according to ability.

In the end they all cover the same curriculum and take the same exams to apply for the same university courses. Though different schools might offer more challenging extra curricular challenges.

Brilliant!

Hes way too clever for state school? But you dont want to fill in the necessary forms............. dont then.
Or do as many others have done - home educate. My ds abilities were beyond my own in most subjects when he was 6 or 7. Still managed to home educate very successfully for almost a decade.
Private schools arent a catch all that will solve all the issues you have with your "too clever" son going to state school. Plus even with a bursary you will still have to find the funds for all the extras........... the uniform, the sports kit, the school trips, the exam fees etc.

Plus going to private school doesnt mean a better route into university or a career. Id leave him in state school - when applying for uni he will get extra credit for having done well "even though" he was "too clever" for state school.

Don’t be ridiculous. Many many private schools have kids attending t because their parents prioritise their kid’s education over everything else. Sure there will be rich kids but there will be as many kids from ordinary families who value and prioritise the education provided by a private school - kids of nurses, office staff and police attend.

Ignore the poster who said otherwise OP.

@RedHelenB the teacher would no doubt teach the same / similar content but would have twice the amount of time to help each pupil individually and answer their questions.

Absolutely not true. Private schools have many kids whose parents do without to put their kids through it.
They are ordinary families who prioritise education.
Sure there are rich kids but there are plenty from ordinary families who move heaven and earth to get their kids educated there.

Meanwhile there are families who prioritise holidays and cars who say state education is good enough.
Different families and different priorities.

IQ doesn’t work like that, so no she didn’t.

This.
And many schools earn their ‘customers’ by results so the teachers put the effort in .

@arethereanyleftatall if the teachers are lazy & make no effort their students' results would reflect this, surely? Can't see that being tolerated for long.

I'm fairly sure that private schools do not have many kids whose families do without things like food and a roof over their head to put their children through private education.

If you can afford private school by not going on holiday and buying a car, you are by definition a pretty well off household.

Oh bless your heart! That’s definitely their intent. Even if this scenario is made up, this comment right here👆🏾👆🏾 is gold.

@2late and in todays things that never happened….

This always gets spouted on here but, in reality, it’s not as common as people seem to think to have “ordinary” families making sacrifices. It is sadly the case that there may be 1, maybe 2, in a year group whose family have financial assistance and they do have to make very huge sacrifices to send their child. There is no bullying of these children in my DCs school but do not be so naive to assume it doesn’t show; it does. Even in passing conversation, particularly on Mondays discussing the weekend of after the school holidays.

I'm going to assume private schools haven't changed that much since my time, but we had classes of max 15 students, and for A.-levels most of mine were between 5 and 10.
There was a lot of pressure to get good grades, not just pass but good grades, (O-level era) at O and A level and if the teaching staff thought you weren't good enough there might be a bit of extra coaching, the suggestion your parents get a tutor, and if that didn't work, you were told you wouldn't be entered for the exam.

Some private schools may be dumping grounds for less intelligent rich kids, but the ones that my friends and i went to were hugely competitive, highly stressful in terms of producing results and doing a shit ton on extra curriculars and so on.

Well yes @TheOrigRights
But the key word there is 'selective'
There are selective private and sleveyobr state schools (grammars) which is what the op wants and needs for her ds.
What she is wrong about though is to say that private schools are for intelligent kids per se. They're not.

Very high IQs in young children almost always drop as they get older because they are measured against age. It is far more common to score significantly higher than the average for your age when you are very young ('child prodigies'). In the vast majority of cases, iq scores level out as children get older.

The fact that she screwed up her A-levels is a separate issue, not the school's fault, and also not uncommon with children who start off very bright.

Who gives a guck if it shows? Parents are not pretending and lying to their kids that they can easily afford it. Nobody is pretending to be the same as everyone else. I remember a friend of mine telling me he was worried about sending their child to a private primary in case it was full of rich kids. He sighed with relief telling me it was full of ordinary people like themselves.

Private schools differ. Some have royalty. Some have public sector employees.