To not want my personal financial affairs to be pored over by randoms?

[MxGrinch]

i am looking into getting DC into a private school as he is way too clever for his state school.

I knew of one in the next county and discovered they had academic scholarships for Yr9 entry. Had to register with them (non returnable £100 fee! we are a low income family) and arrange for DC to take the entrance test and scholarship assessments which he’ll be doing next month.

I’m obviously nowhere near as clever as DS as I thought a scholarship meant the fees would be paid! It seems they are only 10-20% paid so we will need to apply for a bursary.

I was sent the application form last week and need to return it tomorrow.

They want so much personal information such as 3 months bank statements, full income and expenditures, children’s income and expenditure. debts, car reg and value etc.it’s really flipping complicated and will take ages.

I know they need to assess whether we can afford the fees but seeing as there is no guarantee DC will even pass the entrance test, this is not information I want to share at this point as it may not go any further.

Theg have said if we don’t return it by tomorrow DC may not get a bursary at all.

AIBU to not want to give loads of private info until DS is actually offered a place?

@PurpleWisteria1 you are wrong. There are some private schools which are highly selective. I have no idea whether this one is which is why I told OP to be check it carefully.

Obviously you don’t think he’s that clever if you’re worried about him failing the test.

My DD is on a bursary & scholarship at a private school. It’s fabulous. She wasn’t being stretched at her state school (her teacher actually told me he ‘didn’t have time to give her extra work as I have 31 other children in the class’) So I totally get what the OP is saying. And contrary to other posters, literally no-one knows she is on a bursary. Her clothes are the same as all her friends. They don’t think she’s a ‘chav’. They don’t all go on posh holidays in the summer - a lot of the parents are feeling the pinch too like we all are! Not everyone is totally loaded - granted, they have more money than most but a lot of them struggle to pay the fees each term too.
There is a lot of anti-private sentiment on here - often from people with limited/old knowledge of the system.
good luck OP - it’s the best thing we could have done for our DD. Hope it all works out well for you.

You do realise OP, that all the final exams state & private schools have are the same? There aren’t any extra exams for ‘way too clever’ kids.

My state school daughter got A*’s in all her exams, does that mean she’s missed out on something by not going to a private school?

I’m confused.

Too clever for his state school 🤣

DN is a nice child - think there must be some toxicity at that particular private school though for her to come out with that.

@TheaBrandt just like there was toxicity at my comp. But not one of the actually nice people were nasty to me. She is not nice if she said that. I hope you pulled her up on it, or her parents did.

If you want to do it - do it. Don’t be embarrassed, the worse your finances the better for this exersize.

YABVU! Good luck turning up at any private school with that attitude.
Would you consider going to a restaurant you couldn’t afford because it was better than a cheaper one? No. Your son is not too clever for state school. He stays at state school because you cannot afford a private school. The fact even the £100 fee was too much for you shows you will have absolutely no way of keeping up with everything private school entails. Have you seen the uniform? The trips? The extras? You will make a miserable life for your son.

They're not just checking affordability for you, they're making sure you are genuinely in need of the bursary and don't have a speedboat on the drive.

I didn't know that private schools checked to see if the parents had been on Bullseye.

Even a with a bursary and scholarship you will need to find money to top it up ...
I work in an independent prep .....fees of £6000 plus a term basic
Have they said what %age the bursary would be ?
They look at all your info ..but it's the figures they look at they won't have your photo so won't actually know who you are as such.
Independent doesn't always mean better ....recently a lot of smaller ones have closed due to lack of numbers which means less fees ...staff have been made redundant in others.
Have you looked at Grammar schools....or State Boarding schools ?
Home education?

Surely he will if he is way too clever for state school

😂

I'm confused.

Private school isn't about intelligence. It's about money. Rich people pay for average kids to attend. How will that benefit your son?

It's bought privilege regardless of academic abilities.

Get too-genius-for-state-school son to fill it in.

What an embarrassing comment. If he does get in, please never say that to anyone.

This is true!

There is no such thing as being too clever for state schools!!
Private schools are for those that can afford the fees. It can't buy intelligence!!
We just asked our primary school for extra work to keep them occupied because they had done everything else.

Similarly there are super selective private schools that select the top 1-3% which are extremely sought after in areas where there are no grammar schools ie. most of the country.

"randoms"? get a grip
You want people to give you money - they are going to ask for evidence you need it.

@Brefugee agree! It’s only like providing the info for a mortgage. If you want somebody to give you money, you need to show evidence.

Having had 2 kids go through schooling, in my experience kids who are 'too clever and bored' are in fact just extremely poorly behaved and overindulged.....

Hum. I have direct experience of this situation OP and I hope you have all the facts to hand. DD was awarded a 50% bursary and scholarship at Yr 9. Well known Cotswolds school. Years 7/8 at a local 'outstanding' academy had been miserable, she was bullied. She aced the entrance paper and she had an IQ assessment. It was 162.
What she couldn't handle was the private schools expectation to always be on show. A trick pony if you like. Open Days, scholars pin etc. If that suits you child good luck to you. This scrutiny led to poor mental health for my dc.
She left to attend a local village school with small class sizes. The previous academy was over subscribed and 'encouraged' all the SEN kids to go to this school. Of the four schools she attended this was her favourite. They saved her.
What I didn't know is that the FE college in the next town takes from 14. It might be an option if you can't find a suitable secondary?
All the major public schools will take a super clever child but not one with SEMH like my daughter. We looked at 22 schools so I did my homework!
I second looking at grammar schools and there are also state boarding schools.
My daughter is off to study at University next year. She needed to find her love of learning again. Make sure your son wants to attend the school that is chosen. Alternatively look at studying for an OU degree. No age limits.
And I went to Oxford from my state comp. However I didn't enjoy it.

Exactly!!! what a weird thing to say !

The OP clearly had lived a somewhat sheltered life. Never had to claim benefits or discounts on utilities such as council tax - all which require investigation of finances and assets.

My heart bleeds for you that you are having to do this and your super bright son isn’t having the moneyed doors of private schools flown open for him.

Some state schools do not stretch children. Our local comp only allowed children to take one MFL, offered no classical language and did not offer triple science. It had not yet sent a young person to Oxford or Cambridge.

Where we lived the selective independents were:

Westminster
King's College School
St Paul's School
Lady Eleanor Holles
St Paul's Girls
Putney and Wimbledon High Schols

The DC may be from well off families, but there won't be any dumbos at those schools. Eton is also very selective.