To ask what to do about neighbours loud sex?

[otherellie]

We live in a flat in a converted period house, so we don't expect soundproofing to be the best.

New neighbours moved in below us about two months ago. Ever since they moved in, they've been having ridiculously loud sex every weekend. It's only ever on the weekend, usually starting in the morning and then periodically throughout the rest of the day. They have woken me up on multiple occasions (I work late shifts so sleep in until 9am). Without going into too much detail, the woman is a screamer.

I'm glad she's having a good time but I'm so fed up of not being able to sleep, watch TV, or just be in my own home at the weekend without being disturbed by them. If it was an occasional thing, fine, but it's every single weekend without fail.

I've tried banging on the walls/floors and playing loud music, thinking maybe they didn't realise the sound travelled so much and once they did, they'd be quieter. It worked for about five minutes but then they were back to it as usual.

All suggestions welcome - sensible and non-sensible!!

I think you have to speak to them, and ask them if they are aware if how loud they are. It's going to be an awkward conversation but necessary

My neighbor is having loud sex at 8:30 in the morning!

Maybe search for the above thread? Lots of good advice there.

Tricky one....wouldn't know what to do myself.

My concern would be that given they've quietened down once, and you've banged on the walls, they know that they're loud and don't care, or worse they get off on knowing everyone else can hear them.

You're probably going to have to be direct with them, tell them you can hear them and that you'd appreciate they keep it down when they're living in a flat where noise travels.

Put a note through to say please keep it down

What can you do really?

I had this in the flat above me, it was absolutely rank 🤮 I don’t want to hear your performative sex you gross freaks.

Note through the door

Ear plugs?

just STFU on a bit of paper should suffice

Play canned laughter at them? Or start clapping.

Bear in mind they may get off on the fact that others can hear them. Letting them know you can hear could make them worse.

Text them just as they finish up giving them a rating out of 10

Change your wifi name to “I can hear you having sex Flat 1A”

I think you have to say something. Are they approachable?

Borrow a loudspeaker and microphone and then channel your inner racing commentator.
"And they're off! A lot of excitement here at (your street name) as this frisky filly and sexy stallion get started! Sounds like he's found the little man in the boat - pretty quickly for him, he can be a bit of a fumbler! And they've settled in to what sounds like an efficient rhythm - in, out, in, out!"
And get louder and louder while they're "on the home straight" and more and more enthusiastic until they, um, pass the post.

Just go and speak to them. So many mumsnet threads could be over in one reply with, "Open your mouth and use your words."

Stick notes through the door saying you know she's faking it and you'll be scoring the next time so better make it good.

They may not be aware how loud it’s coming through the walls. Some people can’t help but make noise 😽

Drop in a note saying ‘She’s faking it, mate’ There is no need for people to scream whilst having sex unless they’re trying to persuade their partner they’re coming. Ridiculous.

I think you might have my old neighbours 🙈 we had this in the apartment block we lived in. We popped a note under their door and nothing changed, unfortunately I think PP is right and some people get off on it.

It's going to have to be a note through the door or a quick chat situation. You don't have to be specific about what noise you're hearing.

Alternatively next time she's screaming run up and bang on the door and ask if she's alright in faux panic?

I love this one. Bang in the door and say that it sounded like someone was being attacked and you've called the police.

Exactly this.

There'll be lots of outlandish suggestions of what to do but they're not practical in RL. What works in RL is speaking to them about it. It's not going to the most fun conversation you've ever had but you don't need to be explicit about it, just knock on the door and ask if they are aware that sound travels so much between the flats and that you're hearing a lot of noise on weekends. They'll know exactly what noise you mean and will hopefully be more mindful of it next time.

If they're not more mindful then speak to environmental health at your local council as you would have grounds to make a noise complaint.

Knock the door and ask to join in???

Either a good pair of earplugs while you're trying to sleep, and turn the TV up louder when you're not, or you have to go and confront them about it. One of the joys of communal living along with loud washing machines, crying babies, and barky dogs.

They're not necessarily going to do it any quieter though, so you've got to work out if the resulting awkwardness when you see them is worth it.