To not fear death but the aftermath!

[SnitterBug]

I'm due a big birthday soon . Obviously it's made me reflective. I'm not scare to die as such but I'm really scared of being aware of what's going on after my death in some way . As in being cremated or buried . Silly I know but it terrifies me .

What being buried alive, or where you go after, heaven etc ?

Well OP, it depends whether or not you believe in an afterlife.

If you don't then there's nothing to worry about is there? Enjoy your oblivion.

If you do, then, - who knows?

I've seen dead people and trust me they are dead.

If you really are concerned, put a clause in your will to be embalmed, that will make sure you're really, really dead......

No just knowing on some level what's going on . Silly I know .

There’s a couple of programmes on Netflix about life after death and so many YouTube video accounts too. All say very peaceful living things about afterlife experiences and near death experiences.

But what terrifies you about it? Sometimes anxiety can be caused by some unprocessed grief, and once you attend to the grief, the anxiety drops away.

what Is it your frightened of. Being aware somehow of being cremated or buried? Being conscious in some way that you are dead? Not being actually dead at the time of burial or cremation? I’m not quite sure what aspect is causing you the most fear. Can you say a little more about it?

I suppose being cremated and feeling everything . Or being buried alive . I guess it's a primal fear .

Btw don’t dismiss it as ‘silly’ - let your fear speak and explore it. There will be wisdom to be found in it.

Is it physical pain you’re worried about?

Yes I think I will . Once the blood had been drained out of you than that truly is it .

The only thing I fear is oblivion

But I know most people don't understand why I feel that way.

I guess I know that the clock is now ticking down and not up. How fast time goes

No it’s not silly. Its fear of the unknown? Medically once our brains die it’s like an electric appliance that’s been turned off and unplugged. There’s no activity and no awareness.

Yes the fear of the unknown.

But our fears aren’t always rational so if making it official that you want to be embalmed would ease your anxiety about this then I’d make it very clear that is what is to be done

OP, it's very, very rare nowadays that someone alive ends up in the mortuary by accident. Even if they have been, the mistake is rectified quite quickly, certainly before they are collected by the undertaker.

If it helps, think of it as a birth.

We all came into this world alone and naked. It was painful but we no longer remember it.

I believe we go out of this world the way we came in. It will be ok OP. You've done it once, you can do it again.

I like the idea of being buried so trees or flowers can grow. Or having ashes scattered at sea, I'm a total mermaid at heart...

But the idea of being trapped in the cold dark earth or at the bottom of the cold ocean for all eternity, and somehow being aware of it... irrational I know but its still scary to think about.

I'm fast approaching 50 and I have never felt such morbid thoughts as I am experiencing right now. I keep wondering about death and what it will feel like. At times, I even think that I might prefer to die now rather than later (from some horrible disease - cancer, dementia, etc). I think there's just something about approaching a "milestone" birthday that makes you much more aware of your own mortality. I really wish I could stop thinking about my impending doom!

What will it be like when I’m dead? Same as it was before I was born. Can’t remember when I first heard that but it’s always made a comforting kind of sense to me. There’s literally nothing, oblivion isn’t really even the word. It’s not like some kind of coma where there might be some awareness of the situation you’re in. Fully understand that not everybody finds that particularly comforting and of course billions of people simply don’t believe there isn’t “another place” we leave for.

You usually lie (dead) in a mortuary for a week. Little chance of instant cremation

I was afraid of death until I was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer recently. Now I feel quite light hearted about it. Like all the worry about how and when and where has been lifted off me, all the things I was worried about in the far distant future are all now someone else's problem, or not a problem at all - no likelihood that I am going to need an old peoples home, no worry about the leasehold running out, I wont be the person making decisions about my cat in her old age......

I am afraid of the process of dying ( a little) but not about actual death

I think we maybe have a fear of death during our life time, to help us avoid death; it's evolutionary! But once it is unavoidable, the fear is serving no further purpose, and it dissipates, in some cases, anyway

@2greenroses what a beautiful post. I cannot possibly imagine what it is like for you so thank you for articulating your feelings.

Thank you @WallaceinAnderland xx

@2greenroses

Thank you for this post.

I work with dementia patients.
Death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person!