To not fear death but the aftermath!

[SnitterBug]

I'm due a big birthday soon . Obviously it's made me reflective. I'm not scare to die as such but I'm really scared of being aware of what's going on after my death in some way . As in being cremated or buried . Silly I know but it terrifies me .

2greenroses, I adore what you wrote. Thank you so much for sharing that.

@2greenroses Thank you. As someone who lives hoping her cancer won’t come back but understanding that it very well could I have to say you’ve described exactly how I now feel about death.

I'm with you op. I worry that it'll hurt when I get cremated. There's no way I want to be buried tho.

If you want to do something really useful after you are dead make a gift of your body to the local Medical School.
They are allowed to keep for for 7 years before they need to dispose of you. So you can lay there on a gurney watching what the students are doing and listening to their gossip ....🤔

Remember dreams you've had, where everything is different or technically makes no sense, or you're someone else or whatever, or loved ones don't seem to be part of existence in that dream and it makes no difference, etc, and you're nonplussed because that's how it seems to be in a dream. Like a different state in every way. Think of whatever comes after as a long version of that!

My mum was really scared of this and always said she wanted to be buried with a spade. When she died suddenly and too young we saw her body and it was just so clear that she wasn't in there anymore. The body was just something that she lived in and she was definitely gone. My dad had her cremated.

I have no words of wisdom, but I'm posting in solidarity... I often think about the same thing.

I know what you mean OP. But maybe look at it as being the same as before you were born? Life was carrying on then…

Yes what a positive post . Maybe when you reach the the age / point when its inevitable a sense of calmness envelopes you . Acceptance .

This . I guess it's everyone's fear .

I had thought about that . Wow never knew they could keep a body all that time .

Thank you for understanding.

I'm 61 and my mother died recently. Dad died years ago. I think that once both parents are gone you start to ask yourself, how much time do I have left?
I don't fear being buried alive because thankfully nowadays death can be confirmed beyond all doubt. It's the state of nothingness and just not being here anymore that I can't get my head around

I fear death, like 2greenroses I have a terminal disease.I think its because I cant quite get my head around oblivion, and somehow I will be watching the rest of the world carry on without me! Idont actually believe in the afterlife

Thank you @2greenroses. What a beautiful, thought provoking post 💖

@thereisonlyoneofme that could be fun! especially if we could travel wherever, just watching what is going on, like a film!

I remember someone posting the wise words of her grandmother on here....(paraphrasing)

Life is like a party - no one wants to leave early, but by the early hours of the morning you are tired, have had enough and just want to go home.

I often look at videos and photographs of people long ago, the ones on TikTok or Instagram where they've added colour to black and white. I know that all those people have gone, they've all experienced life and death and it comforts me that it's mostly a natural experience that billions have been through. The same feeling that PP had about how it was before they were born. I wasn't there then and I won't be again.

OP I totally get what you mean. I have this too about being buried alive. Have you seen the Kevin Bacon advert? I can't even watch it or anything where someone's trapped.
I think it's one of those things where one day that thought came to us, and it was so unpleasant when we think about it again were scared of our own thoughts and it becomes even more unpleasant.
The best thing we can do is just try and think about something else as soon as it happens. I remember my mum saying she had the buried alive thought too, it's probably really common!

OP, when you die, you will leave your body behind, like a butterfly emerging from a dead chrysalis. Whether your body is buried or cremated, you will not still be in it to feel any pain or fear.
As a Christian, I believe we have souls, and will continue to exist outside the mortal realm of time and space, in the loving presence of God, reunited with all those we have loved and lost. Christ gave us His promise, that “I go to prepare a place for you”, and rose from the dead to prove it.
Personally, though I fear the physical process of dying, I look forward to seeing my much loved and missed late DH again, and am awestruck at the prospect of meeting again the loving creator of our universe, who willingly died for us.
I had one encounter with the presence of God, at my DH’s funeral, 30 years ago, and was overwhelmed by His infinite love and compassion, that carried me through that first awful week of bereavement.

My 14 year old asked me about this yesterday and I got quite upset thinking about it, while trying to reassure him. I don't want my child contemplating death but maybe it's good to instil a lack of fear early on.
I explained that I can't rationalise it but I just 'know' there is more. I don't want to believe anything or seek it out, it's just something that's always been there.
Plus I feel like if I'm wrong and there's nothing that will be ok, after quite a tough life. And if there's something, my God I'm so excited to see my dad and grandparents again.

Some lovely thoughts on here.
My fear is not being there for my children and and if they will be OK, who will comfort them.
I want to be cremated but have never thought about it hurting until now.

I am exactly the same , it's hideous.

I don't fear death, just dying.

Also the effect it will have on my loved-ones. But I'm not a believer in any king of afterlife so I don't think it's possible to have any experience of your own death, only the process of dying - and that is scary. I worry now, while I'm alive, about my children/husband after my death, but of course I won't be in a position to worry once I've gone!!

They won't always take a body. I've had patients refused twice.