Was this parent U?

[afosull]

Going to keep this anonymous for the first post, then I'll say which parent I am after I've got responses.

Parent 1 has a not long turned turned 18 year old DD, she's best friends with a 17 yo boy (parent 2’s child). 17 yo has ADHD which could make him vulnerable, he's allowed to drink a little at parties with his friends but not very often.

The two of them went out to a club, 17 yo was using parent 1’s elder sons ID. Parent 1 knew about this as told elder son how he could get in trouble with someone else using his ID but didn't tell parent 2. The boy told parent 2 he was at a party

Parent 2 found out and isn’t happy

Was parent 1 U?

Absolutely parent 1 was U and irresponsible. Is parent 2 the 17 year old's parent? There's a world of difference between being allowed to drink a little bit at parties and using a fake ID to go out on the lash.

Oh I don’t know. The ‘kids’ are old enough to know better. I’d leave the adults out of it. If the 17 year old is permitted to drink a little, the parents have already allowed him to break the rules. In some situations, ‘almost an adult’ is as good as 18 years old when it comes to owning their own decisions and accepting consequences. This is one of them, I think.

Parent 1 had no obligation to tell parent 2

Parent 2 sounds a bit of a helicoper parent TBH

It's a teenage thing. I was 15 going in clubs with fake ID

I think parent 2 should really be talking to their son about the implications of using someone else's ID. Parent 1 should be talking to their son too about not letting others use their id.

Parent 2 needs to loosen the reins. Are they handing any responsibility of this to their own child or is everyone else the big bad wolf?

I don't think parent 1 was unreasonable. Nothing to do with parent 1. The issue is between 17yo and the fact he lied to his parents - not parent1's fault.

I don’t think anyone was being unreasonable.
Each parent has a different view and I personally think given the ages, the situation described that something like this was bound to happen sooner or later.

17 year olds will always try and get into night clubs with borrowed Id and almost all of them will have a story to relay about how drunk they got and how their parents didn’t know.

I have been there in both situations and funnily enough it was my best friends daughter.

I've got a 17 year old and it sounds like something she'd try. If she did borrow someone's ID I'd see it as something to discuss with her, not the parent of the ID holder, although this really is not something I could get worked up about. Your son is not a little boy anymore and going to clubs at 17 is not the world's worst transgression.

How does parent 2 know that parent 1 knew? Might be more to it, e.g parent 1 didn't know, didn't know till after, was told parent 2 was aware of the club visit.

So the 17 year old tells lots of lies but somehow it’s another parents fault?

Surely the one at fault is the 17 year old? They are old enough to know what they were doing was wrong - not that it's the biggest deal.

Oh hullo there Parent 1.

You did your bit by speaking to the IDlender.

Jesus
It's not a big deal
Leave them be

Wouldn't have snitched
Wouldn't be pissed off

I was up all night taking drugs aged 16

I turned out fine

What’s the difference between a party and a club?

If the 17 year old is permitted to drink a little, the parents have already allowed him to break the rules.

What 'rules' are those?

You were fine, but one of the friends of an ex ended up in a coma after taking MDMA, and many die. You were lucky, others may not be.

An almost 18yo sneaking into a club with their mate’s older sibling’s ID? Surely this is almost every teen for the last 40 years. Parent 2 sounds over-anxious.

If parent 2 has an issue, it should be with their own child, for lying.

Yep, this for me.

Oh dear. You’ve used ‘ ‘

I’m about to lesson, aren’t I?

I think any parent with a 17 year old going out out is mad to think they won’t have a drink or two!

Parent two needs to calm the fuck down. You can't be holding other adults responsible for your 17 year olds behaviour!

Definitely this!