To have older child in nursery when on maternity leave?

[Darkmoons]

My son will be just over two and a half when his sibling arrives, and I am a bit worried about how to manage both their needs. He currently attends nursery for three days a week - is it reasonable to keep this up, or reduce, take out altogether … interested to hear what most people do?

God I think I'd die of exhaustion with two if I had my older one at home as well! Definitely keeping him in nursery for as long as we can afford it!

Main reason I kept mine in is they couldn’t hold the place for when I went back to work, and there was a 2 year wait list.

How are you all affording nursery feed while on maternity leave?😬Am I the only poor person here?

In our case, I had 6 months mat leave on full pay and then a few weeks of annual leave to take. And then by the time I was done with that, DS was on the 30 free hours so it cost a lot less.

How did lockdown make you miss on maternity leave, the majority of people were home....

How are you all affording nursery feed while on maternity leave?😬Am I the only poor person here?

I had no choice. I couldn’t afford not to go back to work, and needed to keep the nursery place to do so.

i reduced my mortgage to interest only while the kids were in nursery, which got us through those years. As well as using savings, interest free credit cards etc.

short term loss for long term gain.

That’s what I did, DC1 was a similar age and got much more stimulation than I could ever give whilst also caring for a newborn, plus it meant that I could give DC2 all the same attention DC1 had and go to baby groups etc. it was expensive but I don’t regret it!

Free hours at 3. We pay £168 for three days a week 48 weeks a year at a private nursery. That's why we did this gap (among other reasons!)

£168 a month*

You left that age gap so you could dump the eldest at nursery for free when the new one came along? Lovely

I’ll be keeping DD in full time when on maternity leave. We need to save a pot for it though as I don’t get any enhanced mat leave.

Personally I think it’s worth it as I don’t want to take her out and then have to resettle her again. I think it’s fairer on her to keep her in.
Plus she would lose her place and then the chance of her and DS2 getting into the same nursery would be small! Not a risk I’m willing to take.

Username checks out.

Ours was nearly 3 and we just kept him at the child minder, same hours. We are lucky to afford it and it's early education not just looking after your child, so there's no guilt as it's in everyone's interest to keep them going.
We are both off work so it does seem a bit top heavy but we are all happy and doing well.
Now he is starting off at pre school in preparation for his 30 hours next year.
The only surprise was the childminder assumed we would take him out as soon as the baby was born which made us wonder if we are doing something strange, but it was all fine in the end.

Various ways. DH was WFH which was very difficult - he was noisy and woke the baby up and it was hard sitting there trying to chill with the baby with him there booming out on work calls!

So that was the main thing. But also I didn’t get to do things like baby sensory and so on. I know they aren’t for everybody but I was really looking forward to that sort of thing!

Of course carry on the nursery! My eldest was in 3 days a week when my youngest was born, and we kept him in. In fact, we upped it to 5 days a week for around 3 weeks I think, while I was recovering from c section. He was absolutely fine and definitely better looked after than he would have been with me - I was a mess!

I would definitely keep them in nursery. It keeps their routine up and allows you some time with the new baby, time that your older child had with you. Nursery has so many benefits too - and you can always pull them out for the odd day if you want a ‘special’ day with them

I just think that sounds really mean... Why have more than one child if you're unable to cope with more than one

Yep

Mind you she was already at nursery. Now it's just mega cheap!

I kept my eldest in nursery 3 day pw on reduced hours when on maternity leave with second child. Lots of reasons- to keep the place open at nursery for when I went back to work, to keep some routine for my eldest, and to give me some time to focus just on the new baby. Worked out well for us.

Parenting shouldn’t really be about just coping though, ideally. I agree that personally I wouldn’t have a child do a five day week if I was off with another (depends on age though) but at the moment DS goes for three days and I was inclined to have him drop a day and do two but I am a bit worried about establishing breastfeeding, naps, general managing different needs for five out of seven days a week!

Haven’t RTFT. Make the decision based on what would be best for your older child ( assuming you can afford the fees). DD was 3 when DS was born and loved nursery so we kept her in 3 days/week. She had a much better time with her friends than at home with me spending hours feeding and changing DS.

Keep him in for the full 3 days. No need to disrupt his routine. Its really hard with a newborn and toddler. Its also dull for older siblings whilst baby is been fed/changed/napped. Nursery is lots of fun.
He honestly won't know any different and you'll get to establish feeding, do classes and bond with baby.
That still gives you 4 days per week with both children.

He’s about to have his world turned upside down, why would you change his routine even more if he’s happy and settled? He’ll benefit from a less frazzled you at the end of the day as well. DC1 stayed in 4 days a week, I thought about dropping a day or 2 but we weren’t guaranteed them back at the end of Mat leave and couldn’t afford to lose her place. COVID meant she was actually home with me for the first 3 months anyway and we couldn’t go anywhere or do anything other than walks, it was crap.

Id continue with your current schedule. It’s not about ‘coping’, it’s beneficial for children to spend time with peers, do fun different activities they do at nursery and for you to bond with baby. Plus i found it gave me more energy to put into my eldest when they were home and take them out for trips both together which I might have struggled with every single day with barely any sleep!