I am at my wits end.
i have two girls. They are 8 and almost 5. They are generally good girls, well behaved and well mannered when they are in school etc. Very different personalities (8 is generally quite bookish and quiet, while 5ish is a bit of a tornado) but they are close and they get on well.
They share a bedroom by choice. Bunk beds. Bedtimes are a total and utter nightmare. The behaviour is absolutely dreadful. It’s like a switch flicks after 7pm.
They simply will. Not. Stay. In. Bed.
We go to their room, I read them a story each, they get into bed. The light is off but the hall light is on to let them read (8 is an avid reader, obv youngest can’t read yet) and also because they aren’t keen on the dark.
All seems settled and then chaos starts as soon as I leave. They are up, books/toys everywhere. Screaming, shouting, banging etc. we are up and down all evening. Returning them to bed. The minute we leave they are up again. Doesn’t matter how angry we get or consequences outlined etc.
I have been sitting for the past few weeks on the floor of their room until youngest falls asleep. This is the only way I can think of to get them to stay the fuck in bed (other than literally tying them to the bunk bed - perhaps a step too far…). Because they don’t give a single solitary fuck about how angry we get. Or any consequences. But this means I’m losing my evenings because they aren’t setting till gone 10, even with me in the room. Tossing and turning and whispering and asking me for drinks etc.
Last night I was getting really stressed out because I had a lot to do (as you do in an evening). So once I settled them (they seemed quiet and tired) I left them. Came back 15 mins later when I heard the usual riot, they had taken all the bed covers etc off the beds and were playing some game. So that was me sat there till half ten. Got nothing done. Cried.
The youngest goes absolutely off her fucking head at any attempt to remove her toys/books from her or put the light off. I am talking anger and screaming like she is being murdered, that would bring social services to the front door if a neighbour heard. She is incredibly belligerent. I really am at the end of my rope with her. She is bright and funny but a real wildcard and I really don’t know how to deal with her. She started school this year and her behaviour at home has been fairly atrocious since. I know she’s keeping her shit together all day and letting it all go at home but it’s so hard.
in the Christmas holidays, I am separating them. Putting eldest in a different bedroom (which she is excited about, youngest is not). But it won’t help - youngest will just be in and out of her room all night.
i feel like a complete fucking failure as a parent.