ASN spent £200 on game refusing to refund

[MissesG]

I am teaching my sixteen year old daughter with ASN about money. She is cognitively underdeveloped and behaves as someone much younger. first she started with smaller amounts of money and less that she had to buy with now she has got her own debit card and we built up to bigger amounts which she was handling mostly well.

But one night she got carried away impulsively bought something expensive on moviestarplanet over all she spent in the region of £200 on the online game in the space of 2 months with the debit card and used up the virtual assets she got with it. I only found out when she didnt have the money to use on what it was intended for! I was expecting this sort of thing might happen, but know most places protect people against this sort of thing and thought shed have the money back soon. I checked and sure enough according to their terms, they dont accept purchases made by under 18s without parental permission, nor do they accept cards used by under 18s.

First I got her to contact the business and be honest that she had done it without my permission and used her under 18s card, with receipts of every transaction. The response she got was that all sales are final and that they will not be refunding! I sent my own email explaining to confirm, and they told me the same thing and that all sales are final and that the case is closed!

She really needs that £200. I am really disgusted and angry and have now told them she has ASN and warned them that I will be opening up a dispute with the bank. Im not sure if ive got a leg to stand on or what that entails or if moviestarplanet can still refuse to refund.

It's her money, right? In her account?

Just like it's her device and her game and her internet access..?

What did she need to pay for that wasn't her choice?

If she owes you money then she'll just need to save up.

It's actually a great learning opportunity for her. How is she going to learn about managing money if it magically reappears after she has spent it

Natural consequences - often the best way to learn.

Im just so sad for her. £200.

Yabu. She spent the money, it's gone. Ok it's virtual but she spent it.

Not sad enough to protect her from it happening.

I think, as with the other PP, that this is a hard lesson to learn, but you don't have a leg to stand on. If you were afraid she would do this then you can set permissions on tablets, PCs etc that don't permit in-app purchases to be made - hell, I've even done that with my own tablet in case my godchildren get old of it and play games.

But the terms and conditions are clear - and once you tick to say you have accepted them, you are bound. It doesn't matter to them that your daughter has ASN; they will counter that you should have sat with her and either explained them to her or put in place the safeguards to ensure she could not make in-game purchases. I really cannot see any bank agreeing to refund the money either.

Of course your sad but things like this happen. The company wasn’t at fault in anyway, you and your daughter have learned a hard lessons. Yes it stings but mark it down to experience and put things in place to stop it happening again

I am teaching my sixteen year old daughter with ASN about money. She is cognitively underdeveloped and behaves as someone much younger. first she started with smaller amounts of money and less that she had to buy with now she has got her own debit card and we built up to bigger amounts which she was handling mostly well.

It's obvious that any discussion so far on money management hasn't worked.

It was much easier when everyone had a set wage in cash at the end of the week and they knew that had to last til the next week's payday.
Online banking and card payments are a much more abstract type of thing to understand.

Can you work out some sort of system that explains her money to her in a similar way.

Maybe a physical notebook with columns with a money in and date then a money out with date, balanced weekly that she has to show you, so you can help her over time to see exactly how her money works.

Or a jar for money in and a box for money out, with some sort of tokens with 'value' or even toy money, so she can reproduce her actual spending she's doing on her debit card.

Basically any system she can understand that will help her to control her spending.

Yeah, it is sad. I get it. I’d be cut up if it was my kid.

But in my opinion this (albeit on a large scale) is a learning experience. If you ran and got the money back she’s learned that money spent online isn’t ‘real money’ and that she can spend it, enjoy the new skins/lives/features, and still have all her money in the bank. As it is, she’s learned that money spent online is money spent. I’d have a good chat with her about how much £200 is and how she has spent it and will never see anything for it. These online games are specifically designed to part people with their money - they’re addictive and you can get instant gratification by buying your way up. Maybe she needs support to stop playing these games.

I do like the idea of a little ‘accounts’ book as a pp has come up with, where she can note down outgoings. Maybe with your support she could also make a budget in the same book, with you helping her break her wage down into money for essentials, money for going to the cinema/takeaways, money for travel, savings, a small amount set aside for online purchases. This might enable her to see more clearly what a big chunk of money £200 is.

YABU. You said you knew this would happen but allowed it to because you thought someone else would pick up the pieces for your lack of parenting.

They didn’t. And they won’t. It’s a lesson for both of you.

This. You knew it could be an issue but didn't put a limit on her spending or check her account regularly.

I still think they are obligated to refund me due to their terms. I thought shed do something like this but thought id be covered.

So she bought credits for a game, used them and you think they should pay her back??
If they don't were unused then maybe I could understand this, but she has used them.

There's a reason why my SN son doesn't have a card, and why his Internet activity is checked (and he's an adult).

I'd be sad if my DS17 with ASN/SEN did this, which is exactly why he doesn't have a bank account and I am in control of any money which comes his way.

Then again, I am actually parenting him.

So moving forward OP, it would be a good idea to:

• explain to your DD again that once spent, money is gone for good.
• explain again that in-game purchases are a pointless waste.
• go through her accounts and turn off all in-game purchase options.
• check her social media every couple of days and talk to her regularly about anything inappropriate or dubious,
• If she is supposed to save some money, set up a second bank account without a debit card, and create a standing order on pay day to transfer some money across, automatically putting it out of easy reach.

Wow. What a rude and judgemental comment.

@Charcy you are being extremely goady, nasty and coming across like you are bullying the OP. Just be kind and offer advice in a nice way.

She won't take advice or listen to reason. She's right and the world owes her a favour for making a poor decision. If she'd shown an ounce of holding hands up, my response would be different.

Therefore, I'll do as I please thank you.

@Charcy do as you please but you are coming across as a bully. There is no need for it. Maybe step away from the keyboard a bit if this thread is having such a detrimental affect on how you are responding to the OP.

If she'd shown an ounce of holding hands up, my response would be different

God is real and posting on mumsnet under @Charcy!

All my dcs have made purchases they later regretted. Haven’t a lot of us as adults? Especially when we go from pocket money to earning considerably more.
It’s a learning curve.

She may even do it again. It’s a harsh lesson but one that has to be learned if there is any hope of full autonomy over finances. Of course it’s sad for her.

Did you think that because Sony, apple and Xbox gave refunds years ago gave refunds this was still the case with all gaming companies?

At 16 of course you can still monitor bank accounts. Just in the same way you can if the person is 61 and has additional needs. Maybe in Scotland at her age you need to get poa or something, in England I don’t need this for my 16 year old whose account I do monitor. I also monitor my adult ds as like the 16 there are additional needs. Just like I am the adult ds representative when it comes to contacting his bank or whatever.

I'm assuming your DD has "additional support needs"? That's a very wide umbrella term that could mean either she needs a very substantial amount of support, or just a little extra help here and there.

The fact she's managing to hold down a job and operate a bank account without any supervision at all suggests that her additional needs aren't substantial.

You say you "saw this coming" - in which case it was on you to put safeguards in place. She's still only 16 - you have lots of options. Just shrugging your shoulders and hoping that a company will take the hit and refund her if she ends up spending all her cash is a really irresponsible approach. Sorry to be so harsh, but it's true.

I have two teen SEN DC and of course it's more difficult. But if I know there's something that they can't be trusted to act appropriately with, then a solution is found. I don't just ignore it and assume that someone else will sort it out when the inevitable occurs.

You might be lucky and get a refund, but really, you've been hugely irresponsible in just ignoring this issue.

You are being ridiculous. You can’t honestly think this should be refunded. You are pulling a stunt.

I thought the comment hit the nail bang on the head. The truth often hurts (much as finding out your child has wasted £200 on pointless online games hurts!).

She purchased, she consumed, she enjoyed. And she learned. A great lesson to learn.