ASN spent £200 on game refusing to refund

[MissesG]

I am teaching my sixteen year old daughter with ASN about money. She is cognitively underdeveloped and behaves as someone much younger. first she started with smaller amounts of money and less that she had to buy with now she has got her own debit card and we built up to bigger amounts which she was handling mostly well.

But one night she got carried away impulsively bought something expensive on moviestarplanet over all she spent in the region of £200 on the online game in the space of 2 months with the debit card and used up the virtual assets she got with it. I only found out when she didnt have the money to use on what it was intended for! I was expecting this sort of thing might happen, but know most places protect people against this sort of thing and thought shed have the money back soon. I checked and sure enough according to their terms, they dont accept purchases made by under 18s without parental permission, nor do they accept cards used by under 18s.

First I got her to contact the business and be honest that she had done it without my permission and used her under 18s card, with receipts of every transaction. The response she got was that all sales are final and that they will not be refunding! I sent my own email explaining to confirm, and they told me the same thing and that all sales are final and that the case is closed!

She really needs that £200. I am really disgusted and angry and have now told them she has ASN and warned them that I will be opening up a dispute with the bank. Im not sure if ive got a leg to stand on or what that entails or if moviestarplanet can still refuse to refund.

Vile.

This happened over a period of a few months.

You should have noticed and stopped it sooner if she needs such control and support over her finances.

And I say that as a mum of a older teen with asd who also needs close supervision to support the executive function aspects of his SNs.

I couldnt have noticed it. I dont have any control over the account, and I cant see whats on the account. its her account in her own right. Its no different from trying to see and control a strangers account.

The items arent real. They arent limited and can be duplicated. There is not a finite amount. Its virtual. Its a childs game. Charging so much for virtual items on a childs game is a massive rip off anyway. Its not like its serious collector's items. Ridiculous.

Yes ridiculous is the word. But not the company. You.

Another typical post. AIBU?
All of Mumsnet: yes
OP: I'm not though.

I couldnt have noticed it. I dont have any control over the account, and I cant see whats on the account. its her account in her own right

You put her in that position despite knowing she wasn't capable of understanding it fully. This is on you.

Do you only pay for things you think have a value that corresponds to their price, then, and shoplift the rest? Or is it just online purchases that you think you should be able to steal because you don’t think there’s any value to them?

If your daughter isn’t sensible enough to have an account and you’re not prepared to supervise her because you think it’s akin to spying on her, then you need to get her to close the account and you both need lessons in financial responsibility.

With expecting it to happen, and expecting a refund you are pretty much admitting theft.

You are so unreasonable. It's beyond dispute. ASN daughter given control of money and spends money. Her age has nothing to do with it if she cannot grasp the concept of what she is spending. You may as well have given it to a 5 year old to spend on Minecraft blocks or something.

OP also thought something like this would probably happen, but also thought they could just email to explain if it did and they’d be ‘covered’

Truly mind-boggling.

Online content - game add ins etc still cost money to create.

If you are concerned your daughter has the inability to control her finances (although I can’t imagine what a 16yr old needs) then you could have opened a joint account to help her learn.

Not nice and uncalled for.

You don't need to have tangible items for online spending to be 'real'. If you want additional life's in games or whatever you need to pay for them. That's how they make money. If your DD isn't capable of understanding this then you need to monitor her spending more closely rather than expecting the money to be paid back after she has been taught a lesson about making poor choices.

Why did you let her have her own bank account if she's not capable of understand money and spending?

Ive said too much and not enough.

whilst a certain age she got pocket money now she gets the money from her job which i expect her to manage for some things, i have no control of where her wages go, nor could I close or prevent her from opening a bank account. There is no monitoring I could do and I cant reasonably stop her accessing the internet or watch her constantly. she shouldnt have been able to tick something she should only be able to buy at 18 without proving ID

There is a reason you dont go around accusing people of theft me deciding she has to pay for some things out of her money doesnt mean ive set her up to fail when I cant control what she does in the first place.

You know she’s not capable but you’ve let this carry on for 2 months presumably without checking what’s going on and all the time working on the assumption that they will refund . This is entirely of your own making . Why should they refund , your daughter has had the benefit of whatever she bought .

So you have a cognitively underdeveloped 16 year old who holds down a job?

Come on OP if she doesn't understand money you have to act for her. You didn't.

I feel like I am being interrogated it was a job set up for people with ASN.

Who on earth set up the bank account for her then ? Maybe take some parental responsibility here op ?

What is ASN?

At her age she can open up a bank account without my permission. Whether she had it or not she was going to do it anyway.

I feel like I am being interrogated it was a job set up for people with ASN.

Right; so, taking all the facts into consideration do you still not see that you need to act for her when it comes to money? She doesn't understand and allowing her access to large amounts of money to 'teach' her will not in fact teach her as she does not have the ability to learn it.

Take responsibility for this, you should be in control of her money.

I assume it means Additional Support Needs @Youdoyoubabe

whilst a certain age she got pocket money now she gets the money from her job which i expect her to manage for some things, i have no control of where her wages go, nor could I close or prevent her from opening a bank account. There is no monitoring I could do and I cant reasonably stop her accessing the internet or watch her constantly. she shouldnt have been able to tick something she should only be able to buy at 18 without proving ID

so you, a parent, can’t stop her you don’t seem to think this is your responsibility, but you expect a website to? You’ve not answered what proof of age could be asked for? Should we all need to give ID for all payments in case we are a wayward 16 year old spending their wages on what they want, but not what their mother wants?

If you aren't responsible for your DD's financial affairs, why on Earth would MSP take that responsibility and refund her ? For her to have a bank account, she must have been judged capable by the bank?
What's your plan for when she's 18 and given an overdraft ?