Problem with DD violin teacher

[MarkyMarky]

DD 7 started violin lessons in sept and I don’t feel she has made much progress. I encourage her to practise most days but the noise is atrocious. I contacted the violin teacher to ask why it’s so bad. The violin teacher basically said in not so many words that we must be patient and the violin takes time as it’s a very difficult instrument and implied that maybe she needs to practise more. This rubbed me up the wrong way as we are already practicing.

however DH is an accomplished cellist and said it must be the teacher as he’s musical and knows how to played stringed instruments. He said DD should be using her left hand fingers by now and making a ‘half decent’ sound.

I contacted the teacher again and said I’d appreciate more detail as what is covered in lessons as I wasn’t satisfied. She has ignored me so I contacted the local music service who basically said it’s down to the teacher to liaise directly with us, I explained that she was ignoring us.

I spoke with the school who said the same thing, the teacher needs to speak to us as there’s no-one else who will be able to help us.

AIBu to now make a complaint as we are not being listened to and we are paying a fortune for lessons?

It does sound like the DH prefers a Suzuki-type method. My DD learned both violin and cello under a grades-based system, starting from about this age. She played violin up to about the 13 years old without tremendous progression - perhaps Grade 3 or 4 - and she didn't really enjoy it. She then moved to cello and the change was significant. She steamed through the grades, practiced constantly without being reminded, and as a young adult now, teaches others the instrument.

The basics are so very important - so much more so than just playing a simple tune. This stage is when children learn finger placement and correct bow hold. Rushing or skipping this can lead to injury down the line and/or frustration for the child when they cannot master the instrument.

I honestly don’t believe you are for real. It’s been two months. Two months.

Violin teacher in a previous life here. Your husband is wrong. Twinkle twinkle little star requires 3rd position for a start. Hot cross buns also and quaver bowing. Unlike cello, the violin is supported by the chin and shoulder blade (with chin and decent shoulder rest) to allow this. Your daughter will not have the strength or control to do this for at least 18 months. Lord save us from “accomplished” musicians who obviously know nothing!

@MarkyMarky

Watch the movie “Music of the Heart,” with Meryl Streep.
It’s a true story about a woman who teaches a bunch of little kids the violin at a “poor school” in Harlem in NYC.

It won’t help your daughter, but it’s a very inspiring movie and it might take your mind off things for a bit and make you feel better.

The little kids in that movie practiced their hearts out — and their families supported them. It’s really uplifting. On second thought, it might help you and your daughter both. You’ll love it.

How did she get all those kids to Carnegie Hall all at one time?
Practice! Practice! Practice!

This YABU!

Your DH also sounds like a right know it all and you need to accept that your DD just isn't musical!

Is she having school lessons in a group? This is much slower progress than 1 to 1.

Also is it her first instrument? Some children will start on piano first and so can already read music and know the rhythms etc when starting a second, making it much quicker to pick up.

Violins do sound awful when they start but maybe this just isn't the instrument for her.

Twinkle twinkle little star requires 3rd position for a start.

Eh? Im sure you can play a simple twinkle twinkle in 1st position

Also 68 a term is v cheap. Is it a 30 min lesson or 20 min? Do the school subsidise? Lots do but also lots of councils pay very poor rates to peripatetic teachers so it tends not to attract the decent teachers these days.

For contrast I pay £18 for 30 mins one to 1 piano lesson and the teacher is relatively cheap locally.

7 is actually really young to learn an instrument anyway, it will take longer to be good at that age than if she started at say 10 years old

This is terrible advice. Children who start later tend to simply give up a couple of years in because they get bored because they can't play anything decent & have higher expectations than a 7 yo does.

DN start cello about 9 months ago at just 7, having already started on piano at 5. One to one lessons with a decent teacher so is starting grade 1 pieces now.

I think it's sad you don't think your daughter should be having fun in her violin lessons.

Your husband is an arse.

I started learning violin in group lessons aged 7 and sounded shit for at least a couple of years. I think I was only grade 3 by the time I went to high school. At 18, I received a guaranteed, unconditional offer at a conservatoire with violin as my first instrument. Her progress sounds completely normal. The smaller sized, cheap violins aren't even capable of producing a pleasant sound.

This is a wind up.

Your DH has very wrong expectations! If your DD only started in Sep I would only expect her to be using her fingers to pluck at the strings! The teacher's explanation sounds about right.

£68 per term is super cheap! My DD goes for a group class at £25 per session and her 30 mins private classes are £50 each.

Violin sounds absolutely shit for years in my experience! It is incredibly difficult. By year 4 I was using left had but even then, we did lots of plucking songs and fun stuff. I was considered quite good at it and my family said it was a horrendous sound!

Your husband must have forgotten how hard it is to pick up a string instrument. They don't use the left hand until at least after a year as far as I recall. If you don't like the teacher, can you just change to another one?

2 months? Lol. If your child is unusually gifted and dedicated, in about 2 years she may make a sound that doesn’t have you mentally covering your ears. Especially, as PP said, on a 1/4? sized violin. Violins are bad news for parents, unfortunately, but if she has a good ear you may have to grin and bear it for a while.

Suzuki does introduce twinkle twinkle early, but it does not sound good.

Please find a new teacher. The poor woman doesn't deserve to have her teaching analysed, dissected and criticised by you every time you're dissatisfied with your child's progress.

How does your dh know what your child should be doing by now? Because he learnt an instrument himself when he was 7, decades ago? Is he an expert in how children learn?

I'm a teacher and I have literally never had a 7 year old know how to play recognisable tunes on a violin after two months.

2 months of practice, what do you expect??

I play violin and cello. Violin is harder to acquire good sound on, especially in non-full sized instruments.

Be patient or switch her to recorder.

Your child enjoys the lessons.

At her age this should be all that matters, especially after only one half term!

Maybe your child is just shit at violin, or isn't very musical full stop? Maybe she's a slow learner? Maybe the pressure to be a concert violinist at 7 after 2 months is too much? Just because you or hubby are musical, doesn't mean she will be. Does she even want to learn? Or has the violin, and the daily practice, been forced upon her? If she really does want to learn, maybe be a bit more patient before getting so rude and confrontational with the teacher. Two months is a very short time, and your daughter is only seven! It can take some time for a voilin to start to sound anythinh more than a loud screechy nuisance, not unlike the sound of a cat being given a bath. If, after some time has passed and still no improvement, maybe your hubby could teach her as you and he clearly know more than a professional music instructor? Or try another teacher, another instrument, or maybe another hobby altogether, of your daughter's choosing?

Your child is only 7.. they've had 2 months of group lessons which cost a whole 68 pounds a term. Your expectations are too high.
Do the teacher a favour and hand in your notice.
I would suggest get your husband to teach her or wait 2 years til she's 9 and have private lessons

Oh my god, she’s only 7. With your attitude, I’d drop your daughter as a pupil.

I have to add, this isn't a girl who is "shit at violin". It's completely normal and totally expected that at two months she'll be playing open strings and getting basic technique right. If you let her, OP, she'll get there but if you want quick wins the violin isn't the instrument to choose.

I think the teacher sounds very good!