Problem with DD violin teacher

[MarkyMarky]

DD 7 started violin lessons in sept and I don’t feel she has made much progress. I encourage her to practise most days but the noise is atrocious. I contacted the violin teacher to ask why it’s so bad. The violin teacher basically said in not so many words that we must be patient and the violin takes time as it’s a very difficult instrument and implied that maybe she needs to practise more. This rubbed me up the wrong way as we are already practicing.

however DH is an accomplished cellist and said it must be the teacher as he’s musical and knows how to played stringed instruments. He said DD should be using her left hand fingers by now and making a ‘half decent’ sound.

I contacted the teacher again and said I’d appreciate more detail as what is covered in lessons as I wasn’t satisfied. She has ignored me so I contacted the local music service who basically said it’s down to the teacher to liaise directly with us, I explained that she was ignoring us.

I spoke with the school who said the same thing, the teacher needs to speak to us as there’s no-one else who will be able to help us.

AIBu to now make a complaint as we are not being listened to and we are paying a fortune for lessons?

Also, she needs some music theory as well to learn rhythm and notes. The group is a good place to start for this. It's more motivating to learn in a group providing it's only a few children. She will need an individual lesson once she gets beyond the basics to make progress. So long as the teacher is competent and it sounds like she is.

@MarkyMarky

What your daughter's music teacher is doing sounds great - teaching children a good understanding of the core elements while making it fun and accessible. And at that price, I'd say you're getting a bargain!

Getting these things right now will be much better for your DD's music (both her interest in music and her actual performance) than rote learning of the movements to make the sounds of 'Twinkle Twinkle'. These key elements are also transferable between instruments - learn them for one, and you can (if it's your thing) apply them to most instruments.

So, basically, it sounds like you have a highly qualified teacher with a good lesson plan, working on starting young musicians with good habits and making music fun for them. And at a really good price. But if your DH thinks it's more important to play 'Twinkle Twinkle', then please, give up the space in the class so it can be taken by someone who'll appreciate it.

Sound advice from others thus far…. Also, just because your dh has musical aptitude doesn’t mean your daughter will!!…. Just bear in mind our kids aren’t carbon copies of our perceived best qualities, they are individuals who will have their own interests and talents. And ffs chill out before you totally put her off!!

Most small size violins sound grim. They’re usually mass produced and cheaply made and have a nasty whiny timbre. I started age 9 and remember my DBs complaining about the racket. It really is normal for it to sound like a mouse in the final throes of death. If she’s still just playing open strings then it maybe so the teacher can concentrate on making sure she’s holding the violin and bow correctly which can take a while to get right but is massively important. I’d rather she be playing open strings only but with the correct bow hold and position over the strings and holding the violin taking the weight on her chin/collar bone area.

i am from a very musical family - DB is a piano teacher, DF was a competent amateur pianist and I am very musical but I’d say for the first two years it didn’t sound great at all. I was very small and has a small, nasty violin which didn’t help. Give her time and if she happy to practice and keep going, have patience. As she grows and get bigger instruments which sound less like a dying mouse, it will hopefully sound better. If she’s enjoying what she does and likes her teacher I’d not be rushing to change teacher

The ideal age is around 4. Russia, E.Europe, E.Asia (China, Japan, Korea) and many in the US start at that age. It’s standard in the the U.K. to start later but that’s partly why so many give up. By 7 I was playing Bach and Vivaldi concertos.

This has to be a wind up, surely.

You should be on some sort of teacher's blacklist with such an ignorant, entitled attitude. It's incredible how lacking in self-awareness you and your part of a husband are.

You should reach out to this peach of a poster who had a similar "problem" with a violin teacher....

(Spoiler: the teacher did absolutely nothing wrong and the poster had their arse handed to them.)

Eerily similar.

Is this rude of DD’s violin teacher? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4630587-is-this-rude-of-dds-violin-teacher

I really hope you read this as my knowledge could be really helpful to you.

I'm a cellist and my 8 year old dd plays the violin.

I'm really surprised by your husband's attitude. He should know that technique and musicianship are crucial.

Your dd's progress is fine. My daughter had about 8 one to one lessons before playing anything more than open strings.

The teacher sounds great but I'd switch to one to one if you can, or see if the teacher has capacity to supplement with some one to one.

Is your husband muddling the progress with what you'd expect on piano?

Also depends on the child’s personality what instrument they should play, I think.

My son is 3 with a big, larger-than-life personality. He’s a straight-up brass player, I reckon. No way will he have the patience for a stringed instrument.

The violin sounds like someone being strangled anyway.

Being an adult education teacher I get the occasional student who thinks having paid the fee and turned up-Ta Da! Instant mastery. Sounds like you.

Your DH sounds like a total tool. Of course her playing sounds like a cat fight - she's 7 and she's been playing for 2 months. The violin sounds truly awful for ages - like brace yourself for 2 years. The Cello is quicker, but even so - it's not that quick, she would not yet be playing tunes.

You and you husband sound like an absolute nightmare. Neither of you know what you are talking about……if your husband is that accomplished musically, then I’m gobsmacked, he’s talking out of his backside ! Your teacher sounds very well qualified and is teaching exactly the correct way for a 7 year old beginner. I feel sorry for your daughter, she will never live up to your uneducated standards. Oh…and private 1-1 lessons around here are about £40 a pop. …..£65 per term…..bloody hell !

I love when someone with no expertise in an area (mum) and similar but not correct, nor professional experience (dad) think they know better than the experienced, educated person (well educated teacher of the specific instrument). Good luck to your daughter, I suspect she probably already know you think she’s ‘shit’. moving her, despite her abilities being where they should be, will shatter her confidence no end.

Why don't your learn violin as well?

you not your

Why are you quoting the OP so early in the thread? It’s unnecessary and quite frankly, irritating.

What does your daughter think about it?

Give the teacher a chance - your 7 year old DD isn't going to be Vanessa Mae in 2 months, and she may never be within touching distance!!

I didn't have the benefit of music lessons - my parents couldn't afford it, though they did buy a piano (which was pointless without lessons tbf).

However my older two showed some musical talent. DD1 played piano, cello, guitar and tin whistle in primary school, and went on to achieve grade 6 in cello and grade 7 in piano. DD2 played piano, clarinet and guitar. She didn't enjoy clarinet though she persevered but only achieved a grade 4 (am so sorry I didn't send her to singing lessons instead!) She got a merit in Grade 8 piano.

Wanting to give DS the same chance, he had piano and guitar lessons. Both were pretty much a disaster as he really wasn't that interested; piano teacher lost patience because he just wouldn't practice, so he gave that up after grade 2. He enjoyed his guitar lessons so he did those for 8/9 years before I finally called time as he was about to sit his A levels and hadn't progressed beyond grade 3....

Swings and roundabouts!!! I will never forget the horrendous caterwauling of a badly played cello lol!

🤣 oh yeah suck all the joy. Poor child is enjoying the bloody lessons leave her alone !

Your husband sounds like an idiot, but if he is so wonderful (in his own mind) then I suggest he teach your daughter to play the violin.

YABVU.

Seriously?

She's 7. The violin is hard.

YABU. My daughter plays violin. She’s nearly 17 and has been playing since year 1. It was a good year before she sounded ok. 3 years before she did grade 1. She rarely practiced though 🤦‍♀️ Every child is different . I saw other kids at orchestra speed past her with grades and ability early on and others go a lot slower. The important thing is that she enjoys it and if you pressure her I can guarantee she’ll end up hating it and give it up.

I struggle to believe your husband is an accomplished musician if he doesn't understand that it takes years of hard work and practice to get any instrument, especially a stringed one, to make a decent sound.

Twinkle Twinkle involves using fingers up to the third finger. No beginner will be playing that for a long time. You and your DH know nothing. Give the teacher a break though and withdraw. Let another child have the space. I'm certain the (highly qualified and clearly knowledgeable) teacher will breathe a sigh of relief to have rid of you.