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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think flying with a 18month old will be that bad?

138 replies

Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 08:52

Am needing some guidance from parents who have experienced an 18 month old!

I am turning 30 next year and the plan has always been to go to the Bahamas for a couple of weeks to celebrate.

DD is our first and is currently a very well behaved baby, but as I don’t have a crystal ball I’m wondering if DH and I are crazy to think flying for 10 hours with her will be fine.

She has flown a few times already (one trip being more than 10 hours), but she slept for most of those flights so not a fair comparison.

AIBU to think an 18 month old won’t be a total nightmare to fly long distance with?

We can’t wait much longer to book as the hotel is already holding a room and has given a deadline to book of next week (they sell out quite far in advance so are lucky to have a hold!)

YABU - 18 month olds are usually awful flyers. Don’t do it

YANBU - should be fine

OP posts:
ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 07/11/2022 09:08

Fine for you or for every other poor sod trapped on the plane with you?

MainliningChocolate · 07/11/2022 09:11

It will be hardwork but fine. Just make sure you are both prepared with snacks and toys. Kids go on planes all the time, enjoy your holiday!

heldinadream · 07/11/2022 09:15

No way of predicting this. She might be fine or she might be hell.
If you are prepared to cope with the journey being hell then book it. If the idea makes you want to run away screaming, don't risk it.

Juicylychee · 07/11/2022 09:15

Night flight is the only way.

Untitledsquatboulder · 07/11/2022 09:15

Mine were both horrendous (fliers) at that age but perhaps your dd is more placid.

It was after a short-haul flight with ds1 at 18 months that we vowed never to fly long haul with a child under 5.

butterfliedtwo · 07/11/2022 09:17

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 07/11/2022 09:08

Fine for you or for every other poor sod trapped on the plane with you?

Ha, my thought exactly!

heldinadream · 07/11/2022 09:18

Just to add I have a great photo of my granddaughter at that age in total meltdown at the airport, lying on the floor kicking and screaming. She's usually sweet as pie. Longhaul travelling is/can be very stressful for a small person who can't yet regulate her emotions. It really tests them.

Beees · 07/11/2022 09:18

18 months is prime toddling age and she's likely to not want to stay still for more than 5 minutes it sounds like a terribly stressful idea and not at all enjoyable for your birthday.

Is there any way you could leave her at home with grandparents? It would be much less stressful for everyone involved.

Original poster
Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 09:19

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 07/11/2022 09:08

Fine for you or for every other poor sod trapped on the plane with you?

Well if she is that bad it’s not going to be fine for me!

I hate the idea of people staring, getting annoyed etc. but I’ve never flown with a toddler, none of my NCT friends have older kids either so I have no one to ask how shit it might be Blush

OP posts:
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 07/11/2022 09:21

Should be fine. We flew when my DD was 18 months and it was pretty easy, that long a flight there will definitely be a nap at soem point, couple of meals as well. Take a kindle and headphones (i started getting my DD to watch films from around 15 months so by the time we flew she would sit through a 90min kids film!), lots of little activities, colouring, toys etc. Lots and lots of snacks!!

Whoneedsleep · 07/11/2022 09:21

We’ve just flown on a 2.5 hour flight with our very well behaved 12m old.

Never again. We have both vowed no more flying until they can talk and we can explain they need to stay seated etc. We survived just with the help of snacks and a little nap and it was only 2 hours.

Even the being stuck in a pram for 2 hours before the plane was awful. It’s a hard stage as they want to be independent and most won’t stay in a seat for that long!

beonmywaythen · 07/11/2022 09:21

It's fine, people do it all the time. Have a nice holiday

DrJump · 07/11/2022 09:22

We did a long weekend in London when DD was 18 months. We flew from Australia. It was fine. It was tiring.

Original poster
Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 09:23

Beees · 07/11/2022 09:18

18 months is prime toddling age and she's likely to not want to stay still for more than 5 minutes it sounds like a terribly stressful idea and not at all enjoyable for your birthday.

Is there any way you could leave her at home with grandparents? It would be much less stressful for everyone involved.

This was our worry, as it sounds like the time most are actively not wanting to stay still, but again that’s all I’ve got from books no actual real life experience with a child that age to use as a guide!

We were planning to leave her, but as it’s 2 weeks I’m 50:50 whether it will be a bit too long. I’m not that precious about leaving her and if it’s a case of leave her or don’t go I’ll be going, but taking her is the top option.

OP posts:
Beees · 07/11/2022 09:23

I started getting my DD to watch films from around 15 months so by the time we flew she would sit through a 90min kids film!

That's a very rare anomaly for a child so young! Even my nearly 3 year old doesn't have the concentration skills to watch a 90 minute film.

lilyfire · 07/11/2022 09:23

18 months is probably one of worst ages to fly at - they are toddling and just want to be on the move and they’re too young to want to sit and watch screens for very long. I guess maybe if it’s a night flight and they sleep through most of it might be ok - but then you’ve still got the horrendous disruption to sleep pattern thing to get through. I did long haul with 2 and half year old and it was ok though as they watched stuff and slept. Maybe put it off a bit?

picklemewalnuts · 07/11/2022 09:25

I had to do long haul with a toddler. It's hard work. A night flight is helpful, if they are good sleepers, because they are tired and ready to sleep. Think about whether you can pay for a seat for them, or will they be on your lap the whole time (tight fit if the seat in front reclines).

Whatever you do, pack lots of food and drink- things that take a lot of time to eat, so sweetcorn she can pick up one piece at a time etc.

Activities- bubbles, wheeled toys, new toys that will catch her interest. Maybe a flashing light spinner toy?

Mine had a Lego tractor that he drove all round the plane.

Beees · 07/11/2022 09:26

This was our worry, as it sounds like the time most are actively not wanting to stay still, but again that’s all I’ve got from books no actual real life experience with a child that age to use as a guide!

Definitely prime wandering figety bottom age and you'll likely spend 90% of the flight walking her up and down the aisle.

I would definitely leave her if you have the option. Yes she might be fine and enjoy it but the odds are just as if not more likely that she won't and you will feel like the whole experience was a huge waste of time, money and energy.

Sidge · 07/11/2022 09:29

We flew London to Perth when DD3 was 13 months.

It was hideous. She was a placid, happy child usually, but metamorphosed into a hyperactive non sleeping demon as soon as we boarded. Hardly slept and hardly ate.

Everyone thought it was cute as we toddled up and down the aisle. I smiled back at them through gritted teeth.

I’ve blocked the return journey from my memory.

MinkyWinky · 07/11/2022 09:30

We did it and it was fine but:

  • she had her own seat. You don't want a 18mth climbing all over you on a 10hr flight
  • we had various 'surprises for her' that we brought out over the flight. Small new toys, food etc. (We froze some yoghurt pouches which we used to keep things cool then she ate later in the flight).
  • New games/stories on the iPad. She vaguely watched the inflight enterntainment
  • Definitely take your own food, the only bit she was interested food wise on the flight was the ice cream (Virgin Atlantic)
  • We sat at the back of the plane where 4 seats went to three, so had some additional space to the side of the seats - helped with all the bits we were carrying

She didn't sleep at all on the way out - it was day time and there was far too much interesting stuff going on. She fell asleep in her car seat on the way to the hotel. We had a night flight on the way back and she fell asleep after she'd eaten.

Enjoy!

Appleblum · 07/11/2022 09:31

It'll be fine but I suggest you get her a seat.

5foot5 · 07/11/2022 09:31

When DD was 11 months I flew with her to Sydney dingle handed. She was absolutely ticket boo.

At 22 months we took her on a very short haul flight, flight time only one hour. I cannot begin to tell you how terrible that was. For us and everyone else on the plane.

So clearly there is a transition from easy peasy to nightmarish at some point between 11 and 22 months. I guess the change from baby to toddler. Whether 18 months will be that point for you is hard to predict.

FlounderingFruitcake · 07/11/2022 09:32

18MO if they’ll watch an ipad (download stuff before you go) with headphones is actually pretty easy. Stupid as it sounds you actually have to practice this so get them hooked on paw patrol or peppa pig or whatever and use the headphones at home a lot in the weeks before you go to get them used to it. I know it’s tempting to save money but under no circumstances book them as a lap infant in economy. You can comfortably share a business or first class seat as they’re bigger but otherwise they need their own. Take all the snacks, a few toys, colouring and stickers, sippy cup, dummy if they have one. Suspend any rules you might usually have about screens and snacks, forget the routine and remember anything that isn’t crying or shouting is a win! Genuinely I’ve never had a bad flight with mine and back when we were expats we used to do a lot of travel.

ChristmasCakeAndStilton · 07/11/2022 09:33

There is a chance it will be fine, and she will be an angel.
There is a chance it will be hell on earth, and your previously docile child will spend the whole time wanting to jump on the seat (DS1) or scream (DS2).
Only you can decide if you are prepared the risk the second possibility.

Anything between babes in arms and about 4 years old (which is when personally screens became possible for mine) is hard work.

pjparty · 07/11/2022 09:33

Totally fine! Kids have to fly, it's only 10 hours out of a fantastic two week holiday! Go for it! We lived abroad (18 hours flying in total and three connecting flights) and my mum used to fly solo with me and my brother from 18m and 4 years. It was probably difficult but doable and worth it.

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