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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think flying with a 18month old will be that bad?

138 replies

Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 08:52

Am needing some guidance from parents who have experienced an 18 month old!

I am turning 30 next year and the plan has always been to go to the Bahamas for a couple of weeks to celebrate.

DD is our first and is currently a very well behaved baby, but as I don’t have a crystal ball I’m wondering if DH and I are crazy to think flying for 10 hours with her will be fine.

She has flown a few times already (one trip being more than 10 hours), but she slept for most of those flights so not a fair comparison.

AIBU to think an 18 month old won’t be a total nightmare to fly long distance with?

We can’t wait much longer to book as the hotel is already holding a room and has given a deadline to book of next week (they sell out quite far in advance so are lucky to have a hold!)

YABU - 18 month olds are usually awful flyers. Don’t do it

YANBU - should be fine

OP posts:
Delatron · 07/11/2022 11:00

Those saying ‘it will be fine’ - how do you know? Based on your own child? Who could be completely different?

16-18 months are peak toddler. There’s a chance it could be fine or there’s a chance it could be horrific. Nobody knows but after having toddler. And doing a very short haul with one. There’s no way I’d personally have done it.

There’s some good tips on here if you do decide but there’s no guarantee even with a normally ‘good’ toddler that they wouldn’t comply in this scenario. If you’re ok with worst case then do it. I didn’t go abroad with mine until they were around 3 after some horrid toddler journeys!

MarshaBradyo · 07/11/2022 11:00

And yes they need their own seat. Do not do it without one

Original poster
Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 11:02

byvirtue · 07/11/2022 10:43

Go for it we did, daughter was fine!

Does it have to be the Bahamas? Mauritius is virtually the same time zone and you can do night flights there and back? We went to the Caribbean though and it was great although I was still breast feeding and it helped with her ears.

Also Pack twice the amount of food you think you will need under 2s don’t get any food on the plane.

I have a date with pig beach on the cards! (Or swimming with my people as I have described it to others Grin) so unless Mauritius can release some hogs into the sea it’s the Bahamas!

And yes the food seems to be a common theme so will definitely be packing more than I’d have originally planned for!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 11:13

WoolyMammoth55 · 07/11/2022 10:46

We took our 18 month old on a 15 hour flight this summer.

Booked a night flight but due to Heathrow disruption they rescheduled it for the morning!

Not going to lie, it was HARD. My toddler won't watch screens for hours, isn't all that snack orientated, and loves to run.

We did end up letting him run laps of the plane at a few points when nothing else was keeping him happy - down one aisle, through the cabin crew section at the back, up the other aisle, scoop him up before he bursts into business class and then let him reverse the route...

It wasn't ideal but the whole plane heard his meltdown when we tried to stop him, and I think everyone appreciated that he at least wasn't screaming...

On the way back we got our night flight (thank god!) so got the chance to use a £20 inflatable foot rest cube we'd bought from amazon, which blows up like a beachball to fill the gap between the edge of the seat and the seat in front - makes a toddler-sized flat bed from any standard seat. Worked well and he slept well on it.

Wish you best of luck OP x

Adds blow up cube to Amazon list!! Thank you for the tip Flowers

night flights seem to be what makes the difference from reading these comments - will have a look and see what the latest one we can get would be!

OP posts:
FlounderingFruitcake · 07/11/2022 11:14

If they have their own seat they’ll get fed and you can order a kids meal. Whether or not they’ll eat it though is another matter! Definitely best to have favourite foods to hand.

FlounderingFruitcake · 07/11/2022 11:15

And don’t buy those blow up things without checking your airline permits them first. A lot don’t, including BA.

Original poster
Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 11:18

OrangePumpkinLobelia · 07/11/2022 10:59

i took my older one at that age to New Zealand to see family. i was also pregnant at the time. I had taken him younger than that but because he was not walking it was easier. he was walking at 18 months and it was really hard work on my own. if your DH or another adult is there as well you can tag team things which makes it alot easier.

I would say the following;

  • if they use electronics take it off them a few days before then give it back when they start to moan on the plane. That might keep them occupied for a bit.
  • take little wrapped things- a colouring book; new toy etc and hand them out at strategic intervals to distract.
  • let them watch unlimited cartoons on the inflight media if they want to.
  • take some vicks nose inhaler things - it helps with their ears on the descent. I also use something called earplanes which has made a huge difference, for us. One of mine has sensory issues so the plane descending was a nightmare until we discovered these.

www.amazon.co.uk/EarPlanes-Original-Earplugs-Filtering-Protection/dp/B0849562BY/ref=asc_df_B0849562BY/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=535228085039&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1122390349455956897&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006591&hvtargid=pla-1412591333972&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

No way around it- it isn't fun at that age. You have to mitigate as much as possible.

Thank you for all these tips! And links Flowers

She hasn’t had any screen time yet, but might start introducing it as a ‘high value treat’ soon to get her used to it, and great point on the taking it away for a few days before so it will be an even bigger thing when she is allowed it again!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hadriansfall · 07/11/2022 11:19

FlounderingFruitcake · 07/11/2022 11:15

And don’t buy those blow up things without checking your airline permits them first. A lot don’t, including BA.

*off to check if Virgin allow the cubes and then will be adding to basket! Smile

OP posts:
nanodyne · 07/11/2022 11:23

I'm sure it depends on the kid, but DS1 was totally fine when we flew with him at that age. He had a tablet preloaded with his favourite shows, colouring books, story books, some Lego and lots of food/snacks and that seemed to be enough. Helped that he's very sociable and we were surrounded by older ladies who all wanted a chat and a cuddle, so he got to move around quite a bit - you're all allowed to stretch your legs though so don't feel like you can't take your little one for a toddle up and down every now and then.

user1471523870 · 07/11/2022 11:32

It really depend on the children. Mine was a little monster at that age, constantly wriggling away, trying to escape from his seat, getting in the way of the drinks trolley, jumping on the seat, trying to throw things to the other passengers, major tantrums at take off/landing as he didn't want to keep hi seatbelt on.... Even a 90 minutes fly was so stressful! Things went progressively better and now at 4 we are beginning to consider longer haul flights.
This said, I have friends whose children were perfectly fine onboard!

My suggestions are:

  • take some few new toys with you, to show to her only when there is nothing else that will entertain her
  • take stickers with you
  • take her favourite snacks
  • upload to your phone/tablet as many Peppa/Duggee/whatever you can and make sure to have a charger and a powerbank
  • noise cancelling headphones will help her focus on what she's watching
Onthegrid · 07/11/2022 11:48

With her own seat, only 1 child to 2 adults and 18 months old I really don’t see an issue. We did similar with DC1 at 17 months in economy to the east coast us and whilst it was over 20 years ago I can remember it wasn’t that difficult. We didn’t have iPads etc, just drawing and toys plus the small seat back tv. She slept in her seat reclined without issue. I always travel with snacks and this DC has never eaten the provided meals so has a packed lunch. They used a dummy which helps with the air pressure.

We repeated when DC2 was just over 2 and DC1 nearly 5 again without incident, except this child liked to sleep across you which is OK whilst they are small.

Since then they have flown long haul at least once a year and never caused any issues or had any meltdowns. One is ND and one NT.

Handbagsandfabs · 07/11/2022 11:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

HermioneWeasley · 07/11/2022 12:01

The Bahamas will still be there in a few years. It’s not just the flight, it’s the protecting from the sun, it’s the jet lag, it’s the bug bites.

I would do something closer to home, or leave her if you can and enjoy an adult holiday.

musketeersmama · 07/11/2022 12:04

Did 9hour flight with DD 16months & it was totally fine & she sat on my lap the whole way - apart from a poonami situation on the return leg! (we both had changes of clothing so it was ok.) This was pre iPads so I took lots of little toys, puzzles, colouring, stickers etc, plenty of snacks & she also watched a lot of Pingu on the inflight entertainment. There was no relaxing, read a book time for me but we chatted & played & the flight was fine. I’d say just do it!!

Kinsters · 07/11/2022 12:17

I would say, if travelling is going to be a regular thing for you then don't make walking up and down the aisles an option for them. Easy for me to say as my only walker so far is very chilled out but from her first flight we've never done the walking up and down, hanging out in the galley thing. I don't want them to think that that is something you do on flights so it's just never been presented as an option.

VickyEadieofThigh · 07/11/2022 12:24

Those saying "Go for it! It'll be fine" and "Mine was brilliant" - you do realise that every child is not identical to yours?

pinkyredrose · 07/11/2022 12:24

Activities- bubbles, wheeled toys, new toys that will catch her interest. Maybe a flashing light spinner toy?

Please do not do this!

miltonj · 07/11/2022 12:30

Yeah it will be hard at that age but worth it!

Funkyblues101 · 07/11/2022 12:31

Take all their favourite books, colouring crayons, everything that keeps them busy normally. Then be prepared to keep them entertained for the entire journey. At the airport make them walk for the entire 3 hour wait so they have plenty of exercise then be prepared to walk up and down the plane with them. It's tiring and boring.

FuzzyPuffling · 07/11/2022 12:32

pinkyredrose · 07/11/2022 12:24

Activities- bubbles, wheeled toys, new toys that will catch her interest. Maybe a flashing light spinner toy?

Please do not do this!

Ha ha....or maybe a new drum and trumpet kit? And any toy that repeats back what you just said to it.

AnyRandomName · 07/11/2022 12:35

I'd do it, I've done it, it might be a bit troublesome but it's fine. You'll all get there in one piece.

Come prepared with lots of bits and bobs, and at worst it's 10 uncomfortable hours. At best it's ok.

If you can afford it I'd get a 3rd seat for extra space, makes things much much easier

Delatron · 07/11/2022 12:52

Even those that said ‘Go for it, it was fine, mine was brilliant’ may have just got lucky on that certain flight. Another flight at a different time could have been a completely different situation. If the toddler is tired and goes to sleep - massive win. Different flight same toddler - meltdown- there are no guarantees.

For example, my toddler had a good day on a 6 hour train journey. He had a bad day on a 90 minute flight that felt like 6 hours..

There is no guarantee ‘it will be fine’ it might be. It might be hellish. You need to decide whether it’s worth the risk.

Also, with a baby I had no idea what was in store for me in the toddler years. It would never have been worth risking a holiday to the Bahamas for. It was definitely same shit different place. But with no home comforts and sometimes a shared room. And paying £f for the pleasure.

I happily travelled with a non moving baby. How I revised my plans with toddlers!

notimagain · 07/11/2022 12:56

Los of people are recommending booking night flights but I think the reality is that you'll struggle to find any non stop night flights from Europe/UK to the Bahamas, they're almost inevitably day flights outbound, night flight back...

Also second the comment upthread about checking to ensure any extra comfort devices/blow up cots etc are actually allowed by the airline...

LeevMarie · 07/11/2022 14:02

I wouldn't do it, personally. Other passengers will hate you if it all goes awry. You may think that won't bother you, but having half a planeload of people sighing, tutting and staring at me wouldn't be my idea of a perfect start to my holiday.

Our first flight with DS at that age wasn't even bad, but even on shorthaul, by the end, we were both exhausted. I'd put it off for a couple of years. Taking a 3 or 4 year old on holiday was a brilliant experience. The flight was a big adventure for him and we even managed to relax.

Chanel05 · 07/11/2022 14:06

Flew 10 hours to Florida when my dd was 18 months. A dream, there and back.

Flew to Florida again when she was just about to turn 2 and was horrendous on the way home. Wouldn't sleep at all.