To not think flying with a 18month old will be that bad?

[Hadriansfall]

Am needing some guidance from parents who have experienced an 18 month old!

I am turning 30 next year and the plan has always been to go to the Bahamas for a couple of weeks to celebrate.

DD is our first and is currently a very well behaved baby, but as I don’t have a crystal ball I’m wondering if DH and I are crazy to think flying for 10 hours with her will be fine.

She has flown a few times already (one trip being more than 10 hours), but she slept for most of those flights so not a fair comparison.

AIBU to think an 18 month old won’t be a total nightmare to fly long distance with?

We can’t wait much longer to book as the hotel is already holding a room and has given a deadline to book of next week (they sell out quite far in advance so are lucky to have a hold!)

YABU - 18 month olds are usually awful flyers. Don’t do it

YANBU - should be fine

This was my first thought.

Honestly, I had some really shit holidays in the early days with DC - same shit as home but extra challenges in terms of avoiding sun burn, lack of sleep, hazards everywhere, not eating the food, worrying about dehydration and overheating and mosquitoes etc. Not much lying by the pool. Even the beach was hard without enough shade, sand in eyes etc. I think you could risk spending a lot of money to have a stressful time. Kids don't always enjoy the change in scenery, it can be unsettling for them. I wouldn't fancy a ten hour flight either.

Is it possible that your dream just isn't compatible with parenthood of a toddler? You could go somewhere nice in Europe for now and put this off for a few years if you have someone you could leave her with.

I realise that sounds very grouchy but it's based in experience!

I took my one year old abroad but she breastfed for most of it and fed to sleep which was great. But when she wasn't doing that I just gave her attention and it was fine. As in books, toys, and speaking to her.

We used to travel all over the place with ours. Take a night flight if you can. 1 toddler with two adults is hardly going to be an issue is it?

Sounds horrendous. I’d try a short break first to Barcelona or somewhere so you can see what’s she’s like, but plan to push back the big holiday until she’s a bit older

We took DD away when she was 16 months, flight was 4.5 hours. She was absolutely fine, slept for the majority but we did choose an evening flight.

I have flown - long haul - lots of times with kids of all ages from a few months old and never had an issue. Depends on the kids though.

I've flown with an 18 month old and it was ok because it was only a relatively short flight and because we were flying with grandparents and the flight was quiet.

The issue with 18 month olds is that they have no attention span so they won't sit and watch the iPad for example or do colouring etc like a 3 year old would. They will want to be on the move constantly and won't understand that they can't be and won't be entertained for long by any activity.

Your best hope is a rotation of activities, walking up and down constantly and snacks and hope that they nap. If you fly overnight they might sleep but then again might not so that could also be hell. Also not sure where they would sleep unless you buy them their own seat at great expense.

Basically it's more likely to be hell than not but it might be worth it.

Calpol could be your friend.

This.

Depends on your child. I did it with my 17 month old, flew to Asia via the Middle East (2x7hr flights). DH And I took turns to sleep and deal with him, the night flights were ok as he slept quite a bit. Just take loads and loads of snacks!

No, we are planning a trip with no consideration on how DD will fit in when we get there.

18months was the worst age for mine, because they are too old to just sleep and too young to watch 10h of tv 😃
But we fly to Australia twice a year to visit family and have done that since they were weeks old until now at age 7 and 8. You will be fine and even if its not, its a short time compared to the rest of the holidays.

Bring lots of distractions like snacks, books, small toys.

I have stated in my first post she has flown multiple times already.

We are also planning a mini break a few months before which will be a 4hr flight so can see what she is like - but at that point it would be too late to change our minds

Hey OP, you could do all the prep, disaster management, distraction techniques and contingencies in the world but you won't know how she is or how she copes until the day.

There are only 2 aspects you can control here.

1. You and your DH need to be in a zen like state, totally aligned and in tune to one another for what will be a somewhat naturally stressful event. If you know you can essentially not react to any of that stress, go for it.

1. You will have to take that zen like state with you on that flight. TRUST me there will be people flying on the same flight who will have ZERO tolerance for a toddler and that's a hard atmosphere to be stuck in. (See the need for point number 1 here).

I flew a 5 hour flight last week. There was a family on the flight back, they had a 20 month old little girl who was just not settling at all. Both parents were trying everything with her. The massive over the top sighs from some of the other passengers and the tutting was horrible to witness and the parents felt it too. They were in the seats behind me. I felt immensely for them. Those 2 parents were so, so stressed, inevitably their child was distressed and it wasn't a nice experience.

Point 1 and 2 are all you can prep for. If it was me, I'd take my toddler, you turn 30 once. But you've got to be imperious to the sneers and judgement of others. Do your best if you take her but ultimately she's not a robot and you're not holding her remote.

Have a wonderful 30th 😊

This made me laugh!!!!

Just leave her in Reception at the hotel, she'll entertain herself.

No, we are planning a trip with no consideration on how DD will fit in when we get there.

There is no need to be snarky @Hadriansfall. You said that you were first time parents and had little idea of the reality vs the theory of the flight. I was asking if you had extended that thought to the holiday overall as it might help tip the balance between taking her or leaving her. I was speaking from actual experience, which you do not have and which, if I'm not mistaken, you asked us to share?

I already have someone I can leave her with (well multiple people) and if the choice is leave her or not go, we will be leaving her with nanny!

But I wanted to see if I am blowing how bad it might be out of proportion (half hoping I am )

I flew with mine 10 hours long haul 2-3 times a year, often on my own and it was fine. Not restful for the parent as you need to entertain them unless they are sleeping but certainly not a problem.

Impervious to the sneers and judgment of others**

Sounds hellish but if you do go book her a seat, an 18 month on your lap for that long would be absolutely awful.

I did 10 hours with a baby about that age and a toddler.

Fine for us, them and the other passengers.

Personally I found 18 months pretty much the worst age for flying - past the tiny baby sleeping stage, old enough to be unhappy about being confined in a small space, and too young to reason with/ occupy with an iPad. That's not to say you shouldn't do it but be prepared for it to be very hard work.

She will have no idea now about what her child's bedtime and feeding routine at 18 months will be.

What were you doing with your child up to when you all went to bed at 10pm?

Mine would both have been a total nightmare at that age, both always wanting to just run off - too heavy to be held comfortably and would squirm, but didn’t want to hold hands and walk about in a calm way. We once did a 2 hour train journey to spend a nice afternoon in another city with the then-15-mo DS, and ended up sat, exhausted, trying to book train tickets home early as he was such a handful on the journey and when we got there - he broke a plate in a cafe, ran off (thank god for reins) wouldn’t sit in the pushchair, wouldn’t be carried, lay on the floor a lot……

But if your DD is an experienced flyer it might be fine, sounds like you’re well prepared!