This is why British people don’t talk about money?

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I think the reason why we don’t talk about money is because people then use that as ammunition against us.

If your low earning and tell people your household earns X amount, people then question how you can afford to do xyz.

If your high earning and tell people how much you earn, people then question why you can’t do xyz and assume you must be debt or something.

So it’s easier just to not talk about it?

Well, theres lots of other things to talk about besides how much money you've got.

what sort of things do you talk about with your friends?

It's because your worth in the UK seems yo be measured in pounds and pence. Its an aspect I've always found very off putting. The UK likes to think it's a 'class' thing but in reality it is a wealth thing.

I'm sure that's part of it when it comes to dealing with some people.

If you've got none your spending choices are judged.

If you've got loads they want a piece.

I've never had any reason to talk about money with anyone other than who it actually concerns.

I don't tell anyone how much money is in the bank.
It's none of their business.
Likewise, I wouldn't expect anyone else to tell me about their financial position.

Everything really boxsets, relationships, health, work, hobbies etc.

But I’ve been told the British are quite secretive about our earnings by my friend. I think that’s why. Could be wrong.

I disagree. I'm probably old fashioned but think it's not the done thing to discuss salaries etc with other people. Nor was I ever interested in other people's.

Never, in all my working life, did I ever discuss my salary, apart from live with partners, of course.

You can usually tell how much money someone has got but looking at their house and their job - although why you'd care is puzzling. Stick to boxsets, relationships, health, work, hobbies, etc.

Most brits I know are quite happy to talk about money - they just don't want to talk about their income. Because it's irrelevant to anyone else.

Anyone I'm likely to be talking to about anything personal is not going to use it as 'ammunition', because, well they kind of like me?

yes! Someone once said I was ‘tight’ as I must ‘earn loads’ when I didn’t want to do rounds at a pub because I wasn’t drinking alcohol and about to go home within the hour. I think they thought I’d pay for everyone to have a drink with my ‘tons of money’.

I don’t earn loads. Never have ‘earned loads’.

I think not talking about money plays into the hands of those who profit from low wage workers. The UK has the largest gap between the richest and the poorest citizens in Europe.

I would dream of asking anyone about money.
Because it's intrusive and personal. Because it's not considered very classy. Because lots of people (used to be the majority) are taught that it's bad manners to talk about money or religion.
It's not something that interests me very much. It's usually the least interesting thing about someone. Or the people I relate to anyway.

I know what you mean. I earn less than someone "normally" would with my qualifications - by choice. I'm choosing to work in a low-stress job 3 days a week while retraining, because I find parenting a 4 year old stressful and my old industry has been destroyed by the economy.

I keep my mouth shut about my sub-15k job when I have friends complaining about their "shit" wage of £40k because people in a city an hour away earn £60k for the same role.

I find work is the worst place. Dare you say you on holiday abroad a couple of times a year for cheap breaks and suddenly my there are comments about how can you afford it. Pure jealousy. And more time than not its from people earning double what you are. Then they .make snide comments that you don't need a payrise. Maybe its because some people choose to spend their money differently or don't have kids or large mortgages.

Its so bad noone in my team talks about going abroad or doing reno jobs.

BagOfBollocks · Today 16:55
I've never had any reason to talk about money with anyone other than who it actually concerns.

Same here. Why does anyone? I've come across people who do go on about what this or that cost and it is a real turn off. Personal finances are just that, personal.

Yeah, work is hard for discussing money.

My colleagues ask how I afford my house and it’s because I don’t drink, smoke, eat numerous takeaways and have a £££ phone.

I can’t say that though. Rude.

I was that bastard who talked about wages at one workplace. Mainly because I had a strong suspicion some people could really benefit from finding out their colleagues on same job are on quite different wages...
Talking about salaries can be good thing.

But yes, as pps, never had to really discuss money elsewhere unless we talked about like holiday budgets and best sales with friends or colleagues.

I think it's a kind of feedback loop.

Generally people don't talk about money. Which means people are less capable of dealing with the feelings that arise when they realise someone is much wealthier than they are. Which turns the "wealth reveal" into a negative experience for the wealthy person, which teaches them not to do it in the future !

Certainly my experience and observations have been that there are a lot of people who are jealous and have a massive sense of entitlement. They don't realise that even if you appear "wealthy" to them, it doesn't mean you are financially strong enough to fund an entire families largesse.

From what I've seen, it's not really a good idea to reveal your personal wealth to anyone - the best thing that can happen is that everyone carries on as before (so nothing to gain) and the worst is that you will ruin relationships through jealousy, entitlement and perceived meanness.

It’s just vulgar to talk about money socially.

In contrast, the poor and the rich have no problem talking about money.

It's the people in the middle that don't like to talk about it.

That is my personal experience - not to be pulled apart by Mumsnet please!

Totally agree.

British culture is also terrible for jealous entitlement, hence all the repulsive threads complaining that disabled people have enough money to have nice things instead of heating their porridge over a candle. "How dare that person have something I don't, let's stomp on them."

Employers in the UK have done a great little number on people convincing them it is 'vulgar' to talk about salary/remuneration.
In reality, everybody keeping their pay secret is how employers keep wages down. If you don't ever find out that your colleague Bob earns 10k more than you for the same job, you don't know to ask for more money. It's why big public sector organisation hire according to published payscales, pay is kept equitable because everyone knows what everybody else earns.
Smart people discuss their pay with colleagues, it enables collective bargaining for higher salaries.

It's definitely better to not talk about it. I think there is a lot of jealousy around and people seem to compare every aspect of their lives, which leads to envy. The obsession with house prices and moving every 5 years to upgrade the size/location of houses does not help either.

In comparison to what I grew up and we were never poor in the fullest sense of the word, we have a lot of money, I have an inheritance coming that will match our defined contribution savings of the last twenty years, we also have a final salary pension and state pensions, nobody knows anything, we are just perceived to be more generous at the bar at the club. Money ruins everything, if it is to the forefront of a friendship. IMO.

Agree that discouraging people from openly talking about wages at work is a handy way to keep wages low and also to set up a culture of nervous obedience. It also allows nepotism and favouritism to flourish.

It is starting to change now though, with the shit hitting the fan. I recently got a new job and before I left my last place colleagues were openly talking about pay, specifically about how they weren't being paid enough. Which was true, they weren't.

So ime if you really take the piss out of staff wage-wise, they will break that taboo. And the whole "ooh, let's not talk about money, we're all professionals and that is distasteful" schtick gets blown wide open.

It does take extreme provocation but it happens. Hopefully it's happening in more places now, too.