This is why British people don’t talk about money?

[MoneyTalks202]

I think the reason why we don’t talk about money is because people then use that as ammunition against us.

If your low earning and tell people your household earns X amount, people then question how you can afford to do xyz.

If your high earning and tell people how much you earn, people then question why you can’t do xyz and assume you must be debt or something.

So it’s easier just to not talk about it?

Interesting
That's my experience too.

I discuss mortgages eg size, rates with friends & savings.

Talking about money can be very beneficial for many things. There is a perception that it is crass but actually it is all about context.

I find the UK industry culture where no one talks about their wages has led to widespread inequalities. And as usual more so for women. In cultures where people share their wages there is no way for the employers to hide and offer some lower wages.

Although lots of people seem very happy to talk about their house price.

Not if it's gone down in value! 😆

@Fishlegs & @tickticksnooze actually there are quite a few European countries with wider wealth inequality (World population review ) such as Luxembourg, Turkey, Bulgaria, Romania, Italy, Serbia, Montenegro, Lithuania & Russia.

I've said it many times to people who have asked me. I also say that I'm good at saving, that I don't take out loans. Most people think it's acceptable to have a loan, whereas I was brought up and still believe a loan is unacceptable unless in the direst of circumstances. If you can't afford the 15K for a car, then buy one for 1k. If you can't afford the 1k for a car to get you to and from work to earn the salary, then yes a loan is understandable (but so then is, never getting into that situation again).

Slightly off OP's request, but at work we are told it's a disciplinary offence to talk about our salaries, so they don't realise the massive range of our pay scale. So we talk about peanuts instead, there is nothing that work can do about that, and so we say things like, I've got an extra 300 peanuts.(from the "You pay peanuts you get monkeys" quote". Of course we don't discuss it during our working hours, but on lunch breaks we do. Our (now ex) line manager used to think it was brilliant but obviously wasn't allowed to comment on it officially. His boss came over agressively saying "We know what you are doing, you can't discuss this at work"
in our staff canteen because she over heard, so for the next week we just bought packs of peanuts and literally started counting each peanut out.

It's so important to talk about money, I find it maddening that people still think it's vulgar. The only way you're going to know that your salary is fair is if you discuss it! My group of friends always discuss when applying for a new role and I'm quite certain it's helped us all to be better paid than we might otherwise be. Being transparent has also helped with having a more neutral stance on generational wealth - it's much harder to feel like a failure when you know something has only been achieved through good fortune, and it's humanising for the recipient too.

~Yeah they can't do that. Totally unenforceable contract term

Sunsnowsun. My DH was embarrassed he had seen the wage slip,it wasn't hidden or even closed. We're a previous generation that definitely doesn't discuss money. What did he do. ... told me, and gave up work. Others had attempted to get a rise, we're basically told if you don't like it, you know what you can do. A lot of people left,then returned, some several times. This was the motor industry,where owners/bosses/management are only interested in profit.

I bet you that wage slip was in open like that for a reason😉

Unfortunately the economy doesn't quite work like that.
The majority of vehicles are on some kind of finance agreement for instance. Globalization is driven by consumption this is funded by credit and debt.
The issue with the UK is salaries, wages across the board are very poor. Both DP and I have roles are double the pay in the states. The UK also struggles with jealousy and sniping due to hangovers from the class system.

Why are people talking about class system like it was a past?
Just look at threads on MN or twotter. For many people their class is half their personality...m

I doubt if the wage slip was left open for any reason, the workforce were told NOT to discuss the salary .

Agree that not being more open and honest about salaries and sources of money isn’t good, but I find it hard to believe the British are uniquely interested in money, status and the judgement that tends to go alongside. I haven’t lived in one, but I understand it’s quite ok in some cultures to ask people about their finances. Presumably the question is being asked for some reason?

I think there has been a change over the last 20 years and the younger generation is more comfortable talking about finances. This is brilliant for those getting out of debt and to find out about products like help to save, LISAs...

I personally wouldn't talk about my own situation in real life because so many people are currently struggling. I know I am well off and no one needs to hear that. I do talk more openly online and use Reddit and MSE to get some advise as needed.

I'm not sure that's true.

Talking about money isn't a great tactic generally because claiming to have too little sounds like whining, and claiming to have an excess just sounds smug.

Neither is attractive.

In the last few months at work, we have started being a bit more honest to each other about salaries. This lead me to find out that staff that have been there for years are underpaid compared to new staff.

ive left: and told my colleagues what my new salary is. Not because I’m being smug: but because I want them to be aware of what salaries are like in the wider market, and to aim higher. It gives me no pleasure to find out a colleague is underpaid

I know someone who earns a very good wage and is very skilled in their job and has a reputation in their industry to go with it. They've worked their backside off to get where they did.

A friend asked how much they earnt. They wouldn't say. After months and months of being harassed to say, they eventually admitted what they earnt.

The friend then kept on going on about it constantly to put the boot in and be deliberately nasty.

It broke the friendship and the one being pestered regretted being honest in the end.

The one asking was massively insecure and jealous about it. The one who told had never made a comment looking down on the other, as it didn't matter to them that they earnt less.

The whole thing was just awful to witness.

It's useful to discuss pay rates from time to time with certain ex-colleagues who are in the same industry and know each other's skills to effectively benchmark. People aren't always very good at grading the relative value of their own performance, and I know my pay is good, so I avoid discussions with direct colleagues. Higher qualifications or longer tenure do not necessarily mean that someone makes the business more profit.

I don't mind sharing our house purchase price for the same reason I never ask anyone theirs, which is that it's publicly available information. The purchase price also doesn't reveal much without knowing about any mortgage. We only discuss money with friends and family on higher income to share thoughts on investments, high value house expenses etc. Like most who live in London/ South-East, there is fairly high income disparity in our local area, so it's clearly just rude to blather on to someone on lower income that we don't have debt, that can only lead to them feeling bad and I wouldn't get anything out of it either. In my experience from the local school it's only those on low income who are happy to share. General murmurs about increasing costs are levelling and companionable; even though we can afford increases it's still startling and generally concerning to see costs going up.

We do discuss salaries at work, not often, but it definitely isn't a taboo subject there - same with DH. I see that as quite different.

Outside of work though we both very much avoid talking about money. People do make assumptions though, and I let them keep those assumptions (now). I've found people especially don't like it if they've levelled their income/wealth higher than yours and it twig that isn't the case...

We didn’t really talk about it in family when young but I do talk about it with dc in terms of what sectors typically pay so they can be informed on choosing

Really this.

I used to teach finance to kids and the secrecy over wages is part of of the reason some kids aren’t aspirational with careers or good with money. Even the difference in being paid by the hour or having a salary isn’t explained.

Its really noticeable during these strikes over pay that anyone either worker, unions or commenter is reluctant to actually state what pay they get. I have heard several comments that nurses are using food banks now and I guess most people don’t really know what level of poverty is required to use a food bank.

Not sure why union s don’t say, “They get £30k but they are expected to have the responsibility of someone on £80k and they don’t get a break on a 12 hour shift”? And then the public gets a better look at what the job entails and can vote properly at the next election for whoever offers appropriate reform.