To be livid that year 11 DS thinks 4-5 hours/week homework/revision is enough for GCSEs?

[Hotdaisies22]

DS in year 11. Bright boy but has always been poor at doing homework at home despite being well set up for it at home (quiet desk space etc). Does his homework at homework club after school -Mon - Thurs max 5 hrs week (thats only time homework club room is available at his school). We're having conversations that he now needs to up his game these next few months before GCSEs and start studying /revising at home extra time. Getting massive push back and causing a lot of friction. He thinks what he does is enough and no intention of doing more "at the end of a tiring school day" (he only has a 20 min journey to school). What are other year 11s doing? (I'm trying to have conversation with his school on this but so far they've been rubbish - no reply!)

Sounds like you have him living in a prison.

I agree with posters pointing out that hours of ‘revision’ doesn’t means hours of useful work- particularly if that is reluctant work. I don’t want to hear my students are doing 3 hours a night at this stage as it is highly unlikely to be productive and much more likely to be contributing to unhelpful anxiety.

It is great that you are thinking of his GCSE results but i would suggest that there are more time efficient less confrontational ways to show support and get him working.

Have a proper sit down with him and get him to rank his subjects in terms of which ones will need the most revision .

Agree a plan together and then suggest a reasonable timeframe.

Point out that the work he does now will be work the Easter holiday him will be very grateful for as he will be so much less stressed. Get him to discuss what grades he wants to see when he opens the envelope in August and what he wants to do in 6th form. Try and take the head butting element out of conversations .

Lets say you agree an hour with 20mins or so on 3 subjects . Help him decide the tasks he will do Get hold of past paper practice books and get him to do a couple of pages properly, thoughtfully and mark them. Do a section of Seneca or similar. Tick off what he has done to see progress .

Most schools are doing mocks now as a benchmark to see what work needs doing. See how he does, go to parents evening and ask his teachers.

Your support can make a huge difference to his grades but it will be a long 6 months if you are trying to drag him with you rather than find ways to motivate him to step up himself.

We worked out timetables for both boys which probably translated to 2 hours a night and more at weekends

but this was in the few weeks/ months before the exams

dd on the other hand wasn’t well at the time and probably only managed at most 3 hours a week

but she started in the December/January

so for her little and often was much better

it is very stressful for you both though 💐

Absolutely nolinger. Dd wanted us to test her and engage with her to check the info from
the revision notes had “gone in”. It was hard work on us but the technique really worked for her. She knew it inside out.

Mamarsupial

“Be careful, pushy parents. You want them to succeed so that they can have a happy life, right?

Don’t make them miserable”

Not always true. Some just want to be able to crow about their offsprings’ A*s. Their happiness doesn’t come into it.

That's ample at this stage and roughly what dd was doing. (she ended up with mostly 8's, two 9's and one 7. He would need to increase it around March time.

DD did GCSES in the summer.
I would say that most nights she probably did about an hour of work.

She did extra revision before assessments and before her mocks.

She spent most of the Easter holiday completing her art and drama portfolios and doing very little revision to the point that I was seriously worried.
She started more concerted revision after Easter.
She got high grades.

What she did do, is make sure that her notes during lessons were excellent, that she asked questions /found out about things she didn't know as soon as possible. She also made summary cards/mind maps etc continually.
Her revision sessions were shorter and easier because she was already organised. And in her work sessions she remained totally focussed - in the hour a night she was working, she prioritised what was most important and made sure she did it well.

Clearly not all DC are as driven or as organised as that (my other DC would spent 3 hours looking at a book and absorbing nothing). But I think aiming for her sort of work pattern is probably more productive than insisting on x hours of work a day.

Yep. I would 1000 times more have had poorer exam grades and been happier.

If the school are teaching properly and the child is bright GCSEs really aren't hard.

Our lives didn't change dramatically, we offered help to DS1 but he was confident in what he was doing. He did nothing outside school before Xmas, most of his revision started around Easter hols. He got 7-9 and 1 x 6. He could have done better but he also plays music and sport to a high level so needed to fit a lot in that is just as important. All 8s and 9s is not always the ultimate goal.

Nor are all 8s and 9s actually possible for many students, no matter how many hours of revision they're forced to do

Totally agree. My DS2 has additional needs and whilst he will probably pass his GCSEs he won't get 8s or 9s. He would be unable to do 3 hrs of studying a night. He does any homework/studying at school homework club as is just unable to focus later in the evenings at home. We could increase his medication to cover longer in the evenings but we just aren't willing to do this. He needs 5 x 4 grades for his course so his health/mental health is not worth risking for much higher grades.

If a DC wants a career path that requires 8/9 grades at GCSE then they should be motivated enough to do whatever they need to without parents forcing them, if they need forcing then they clearly don't want it enough. My DS1 puts a huge effort into his music which is just chosen career, sacrificing that for 8/9s instead of 6/7s would be completely the wrong thing. He chooses to spend several hours a day practicing, I never have to tell him but am always here to help if he wants me to.

YABU to be ‘livid’ - it’s his life, not yours, it’s not really something to be angry about and it’s not going to encourage him to revise, to have you putting the pressure on like that. If that were me, it would make me do less? Wouldn’t most people be the same? He can always resit if he doesn’t get grades he is happy with.

DS is the same. He’s getting A’s and B’s, could probably do more if he worked harder but I’d rather his mental health was intact. I did LOADS of work for mine and got fantastic grades but it wrecked my mental health, the pressure of it. I then didn’t do well in my a levels because I was ill, if that puts it in perspective.

You are completely bonkers 😂

Your poor kid .
Surprised they haven't rebelled under so much pressure and very little down time.Some anxious kids would not cope under your regime. Some might even be suicidal. It really happens you know!
I wonder what your reaction would be if your child simply failed their exams, despite you cracking the whip so hard.
Mine did about six hours a week and had weekends off.They sailed through their exams.
Went through uni whilst holding down jobs as well and are now in excellent, very well paid jobs.
But you would have called them lazy. OK then.....

My son never did a thing over and beyond what was sent home as homework, often he had it done by the time he'd even finished the school day. He coasted through school and got awesome grades. If your sons bright, he'll be fine. Don't stress over it, worst case he'll do his mocks, find out he's not done enough work, up his game and cruise through his gcse's :)

@PinkiOcelot recommended home study for year 11 is 1-1.5 hours per subject. 10 subjects equals 10-15 hours studying. 5 hours isn’t enough.

My daughter is in year 11. She uses her long lunchtime to study and have down time. She revises at home until about 7.30pm. she does this 6 days a week and has either Saturday or Sunday off. There is only so much information the brain can retain. If he wants good grades he does need to do far more.
My son sat down and put together a time table. I always said there are 24 hours in a day. 8 for sleep 8 for school and the rest you can revise for and have at least one day off to do what you want.
We said to my son if you want nice things in life you have to put the hard work in. It's for a short period in your life. You must make the right choices . Our son is doing well now. Professional photographer.
Check out lots of YouTubers that do study tips. They were a valuable asset to us both and they gave great tips. In the end it's up to him. He writes his future and if he won't put in the hard work he'll have nothing.
Don't get mad with him . Just sit down and listen to what he says and you can give him some advise.

PalmTrees7 Seriously, 3 hours revision Monday-Thursday and 5 hours revision on Saturday and Sunday?!!! AND you're going to increase it! Does he actually have any leisure time? I'm surprised he hasn't run away from home. That is ridiculous. You must know how pressurising children too much can cause mental health problems. You hear of children committing suicide because their parents have put too much pressure on them. Then afterwards it turns out they got all A*. Never confident enough to think they would do well, because of the continued pressure from their parents, and desperately worried about failing them. By the way it's laissez faire.

That sounds fine to me

Teacher here. We recommend 1.5 hours per exam subject per week. I’d count English as two subjects if studying Lang and Lit, and Science as three if studying separate Biol, Chem and Physics.

I did zero revision. Did really well in my gcses

UANBU
I feel your pain OP.

I think that it quite a lot per week

Poor mental health, stress, depression, self harm and eating disorders among young people on the increase.

I wonder what might be causing that?