To question his intentions?

[Purpledott]

Hi everyone

Really confused and starting to have some doubts. I have been speaking to somebody for a few weeks and we get on well. We have not met yet but he’s been saying how much he likes me and how much he wants me to be in his life and he has been very full on with me very quickly.

He went on a night out last night and this morning I have woke up to lots of missed calls and texts. Telling me he feels lost and has heard some bad news that he’s having to move out of his house for the time being and has no where to go and that he wants to see me to talk about it to me. What would you do?

Seriously, @Purpledott - you need to work on your boundaries and self esteem.

Presumably you are a grown woman........ so why do you need a bunch of strangers to tell you that this man is seriously bad news and the only sensible thing to do is to not engage at all and block him

@ProFannyTea I think you’re probably right about that. He has opened up to me about money problems and the fact all his money goes on repaying debt’s etc and that he is left with nothing else

and that he really cares about me

Someone he's spoken to for a few weeks? He's manipulating you into feeling sorry for him and sorting his housing problem out by offering him space. That's why he wants to 'meet and discuss.' Turning someone down F2F is a lot harder than by message.

This is SO WEIRD

"We've not yet met but he's been saying how much he likes me"

You can't tell from chatting on-line. Believe me, I've been there - so disappointing, good thing it was only a Usenet group

So to be frank I'd have been suspicious quite some time ago. This latest development has simply banged the nails in the coffin.

"Sorry to hear all this. I won't expect to continue a light-hearted conversation while you sort things. Hope it all works out."

Honestly though as others pointed out, if you were in dire straits would you be turning to people who know you or frantically calling a random stranger you barely know pleading for help? He's probably run out of people to turn to.

Nooooooooo

You just block and run. Enormous red flags.

Thank goodness he got drunk and let his guard down so you knew he wasn’t a good un.

He has messaged about saying he feels betrayed by his house mate and just needs somebody to talk too about it all. I will definitely not be engaging anymore

That was your warning.
Did he tell you that to explain why he can’t take you out on dates?

He has money to go out drinking then!

I would immediately block him.
No reasonable person wants to move in with someone they don't know.

This!

Run, run away. Change his name to cocklodger in your phone and Block

@Badgirlriri yes, he explained that he couldn’t offer ‘glitz and glamour’

He has opened up to me about money problems and the fact all his money goes on repaying debt’s etc and that he is left with nothing else

So let him move in and you'll end up paying for everything. Not exactly selling himself, is he?

Jeez - he’s not sounding like catch of the century is he

Yeah just block him. At least he’s making the fact he’s a wrong’un obvious now rather than further down the line!

I bet he hasn't been paying his share of the rent and housemate has had enough. You sound local enough to be a viable nest to squat in. Given all his "debts that leave him with nothing", you would also be funding the life of this stranger who you haven't even had one date with.

What a prize.

Why is he offloading about his money problems after only a few weeks?

The same reason you’ve had ten missed calls and requests to speak about his housing situation!

(please tell me you’re a troll and just a bit bored?)

HUGE red flag. He hasn't met you and you don't have a relationship. Does he have social media presence you've been able to access? He absolutely has real life friends or family so why is he calling you

You know how this goes. The person you were texting that seemed nice was most likely an act. Block and move on

Why do you think this stranger, who has made no effort to met you but has been reeling you in for weeks with his Love Bombing bullshit, has decided that now he is homeless, he simply has to meet you?

We have not met yet but he’s been saying how much he likes me and how much he wants me to be in his life and he has been very full on with me very quickly.
Even without his "suddenly homeless" crap, this has trouble written all over it.
How can you not see what a fake this man is?
He bangs on about "wanting you in his life" but has never met you! Until he needs a new roof over his head ...

If you ask me, his wife/girlfriend has found out he's on dating sites & has kicked him out. Don't be his next victim. Don't even go & meet him - he is full of shit & just wants to use you. BLOCK!!!!

Of course he can't! He's too busy getting pissed, being evicted by his "housemate/wife" fuck that for a game of soldiers, he sounds cracked!!
He really likes you and you're the only one he can talk to smacks of him manipulating your feelings to be sorry for him. He'd move in, take ALL your money because he has "debts" for all you know he could be on the Columbian marching powder and be a lazy good for nothing arsehole.
Just block this waster ffs!

Oh he’s good, tugging at the heartstrings…will you ‘betray’ him too?

You’re acing it so far. Do not give an inch on this, be realistic.

”I don’t know you well enough to take this on. I can’t help. Good luck with sorting your situation out.”

Block him if he persists.

Ignore. Block. He can find someone else to “talk to about it” (guilt-trip into providing free accommodation).

No, he's hoping that's what you might offer instead.

Oh he’s good, tugging at the heartstrings…will you ‘betray’ him too?

I was just thinking that he seems to be pretty good at this. Saying how much he cares for her and wants her in his life, being upfront about being broke, how she's the only one he can turn to in his hour of need...

This is like a slow motion car crash that everyone else can see happening except the person in the passenger seat.