… about the car lights?

[Lindalightson]

NC because I don’t want the world to know the extent of my and DP’s petty squabbles. 😀

DP and I share a car. There’s an setting for the headlights, so they come on automatically as it gets dark or in low-light situations.

I always leave the lights on automatic, so I don’t have to think about them. DP has started turning them off. I asked if he could leave them on automatic, so I wouldn’t accidentally drive off in the dark with no lights. He said he couldn’t. I asked why. He said it’s just the way he was brought up (!).

I asked him why he couldn’t do this for me, as I couldn’t see what difference it would make to him. He said if I mentioned it again, he’d get out of the car and I could drive home. FINE! I said. And so he did. And so I did. And when I got home, I left the lights on the automatic setting, just to show him.

Leaving aside the ridiculous pettiness of our argument, who is BU about the lights?

From this response, I totally get now the type of driver we are dealing with

OP, YABU.

@Lindalightson

So you're the person I see when it's foggy who wants to make an RTA happen. Nice to meet you.

Hi is. The end.

Automated things can fail.
they can’t sense all conditions.
drivers need to check, and recheck during the trip.

If you think using auto lights and wipers mean you are no longe run control of your car then you probably shouldn't;t be using them at all, you're right - better for you to turn the option off.

For most of us though having auto lights and wipers are just an added luxury, whilst still remaining firmly in control when driving.

Personally I think it’s reasonable in a shared car, when you are driving, to adjust the seat, mirrors and check the lights before settling off.
I think he has as much right to leave the settings as he prefers as you have to leave them in the way you prefer.
Both of you should check your lights before setting off, it must take a second or two at most.

Completely agree @Sirzy . A lot of people however treat their car like a white good, they just want to set and forget.

this is why it’s so hard to see some cars in fog on the motorway. It’s infuriating

“Let the car decide” someone said earlier .. sure it can decide, but ultimately you are still accountable.

So you're the person I see when it's foggy who wants to make an RTA happen. Nice to meet you.

Auto lights, etc have nothing to do with fog.
Using auto aspects in a car doesn't then render you incapable of turning on fog lights if and when they are required.
It isn't an either/or scenario! You can use both!

I have them on 100% of the time. We live near a road where visibility can be poor, at dawn and dusk and in wet weather I can see cars coming considerably earlier if they have their lights on. It does no harm having them on all the time so I do.

We've got a car where there isn't actually an "off" setting for the lights (left parking light, right parking light, side lights, auto, on). OP's DP would struggle there.

(and the lights do indeed come on automatically in fog - clearly it can be done)

That explains the '21 Range Rover that I nearly rear ended last week by the A14.

Because auto lights have nothing to do with fog. And they just assumed, like many do, that "auto" accommodates their laziness. Why engage brain when car manufacturer did a thing?

The way he was brought up? 🤣 “This way of using car lights has been in my family for six generations”
Automatic lights didn’t even exist when I was “brought up” but I still use them. Those of you who ‘like to control the car, not the other way round’ better not be driving automatics and I hope you turn the ABS, keyless entry, etc. off too! Also do you get angry when the indicators cancel themselves when you straighten the wheel, because you aren’t doing it yourself?

So you don't check the light settings when it's daylight, but foggy?

It isn’t an either/or scenario. You can use both

That’s not the point though is it.

The point is that many people who use automatic lights, somehow think they will magically switch brighter when fog appears.

They think “automatic” means “every single light requirement will be met” and just stop reacting to extreme conditions.

So you’re right it isn’t either or. But let’s bring in some behavioural science perhaps

The average intelligence in the UK is scary at times. Folk will do anything to be lazier or not have to think.

So even if it’s not “either or”, people will make it so by taking the word “automatic” to mean “all occasion”.

I wish I had a pound for ever driver that just assumes DRLs being bright means they've got lights on. They don't, and DRLs don't cover tail lights.

Dumb society we have here where people just assume driving a tonne plus chunk of metal at high speeds in poor lightning conditions is fine because they got upsold on modcons to compensate for actual thought.

You seem a bit fog-obsessed, @VeniVidiWeeWee!
And to PPs frothing about hurtling down the motorway at night in a chunk of unlit metal, I’m talking about pootling around my bit of London, with its 20 mph limits, in daytime.
@Imthegingerbreadwoman He doesn’t HAVE to do anything. If he leaves it on automatic after I’ve been driving, it’s done for him. That’s the actual definition of automatic.

But why would he turn it off after you have been driving. I thought you meant after he was driving

The last car I had, had automatic lights and I hated it! We all have our preferences.

I don't know how you could drive off into the dark with out noticing you'd didn't have lights on.. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I commenting saying you would know if you didn't have your lights on. I agree in a lit up area it's easy to see you haven't got them. I've done this myself but as soon as the street lights went I noticed.

@Lindalightson

When you've nearly been killed by some moron driving in fog without lights it does become a concern, yes. Just because you can see others need to see you.

No, the point of the automatic setting is that you don’t have to think about the lights during the journey.

@Lindalightson I fully agree with you, there is a reason some of us deliberately by high tech, high spec vehicles, it makes life that little bit more easier.

Leave the bloody things on automatic or buy a low spec low tech car instead.

He won't do it because he thinks it'll drain tge battery. It won't.

It's not worth boiling in oil over, so just put a sticker on your car key tgat says set lights to auto, then you'll remember to do that.

I have mine set to auto too btw. It's just easier, right?!

I must be a bit dim - like my headlights. What is this downside of just leaving the lights on automatic that I’m missing? I’m working on the assumption that both I and my DP are capable of turning things up/down/on/off if the conditions demand it - eg, it’s foggy? Turn on the fog lamps!

Which you almost certainly can't do if your lights are set to automatic.