… about the car lights?

[Lindalightson]

NC because I don’t want the world to know the extent of my and DP’s petty squabbles. 😀

DP and I share a car. There’s an setting for the headlights, so they come on automatically as it gets dark or in low-light situations.

I always leave the lights on automatic, so I don’t have to think about them. DP has started turning them off. I asked if he could leave them on automatic, so I wouldn’t accidentally drive off in the dark with no lights. He said he couldn’t. I asked why. He said it’s just the way he was brought up (!).

I asked him why he couldn’t do this for me, as I couldn’t see what difference it would make to him. He said if I mentioned it again, he’d get out of the car and I could drive home. FINE! I said. And so he did. And so I did. And when I got home, I left the lights on the automatic setting, just to show him.

Leaving aside the ridiculous pettiness of our argument, who is BU about the lights?

I would hope anyone driving in the dark woild but it seems you and many others struggle

How tedious. When you get in the car you check the setting of the lights; so simple. You don't need someone to leave them on for you.

It sort of defeats the purpose of having automatic lights if you have to switch them to auto everytime you get in the car. It's no hardship leaving them on auto.

Basically a rebadged loo seat debate this

@Sirzy If we didn’t have the magic automatic light thingy, of course I would! But we do! So why should I have to check? (I’m only talking about daytime driving, really - I instinctively check if it’s already dark.)

It’s not really like the loo seat, @hotdiggetydog - DP is causing me unnecessary inconvenience whereas I’m causing him none.

Who said anything about fog? I didn't. OP didn't.

I know exactly how auto lights work.

And don't shout 😆

It sort of defeats the purpose of having automatic lights if you have to switch them to auto everytime you get in the car. It's no hardship leaving them on auto.

It's not any different to adjusting the seat/mirror after another driver, is it?

The automatic function is available throughout the whole drive so having to set that at the beginning doesn't defeat any purpose.

Just check the vehicle setting me when you get in, nobody needs another adult to turn/switch a light setting for them.

Neither of you is right, OP ☺️

Just leave them on (not automatic, but just on) all the time.

(Unless your car doesn't switch them off when the engine is off, obviously).

Its not really about the lights though, is it? You asked him to do something for you, he refused to even entertain the idea and when you asked why he could not make a change for you, he completely refused to engage and stormed off. I dont think this is petty at all, there is a great book called 'I left my glass by the sink and she divorced me' or something similar about just this. That when men are asked for something they dont understand or agree with, even when it means a lot to their wives, they often just completely dismiss it.

It’s not really like the loo seat, @hotdiggetydog - DP is causing me unnecessary inconvenience whereas I’m causing him none.

You think checking/switching the lights in is inconvenience?

What a blessed life you must have if that's you idea of an inconvenience. Sweet jeepers.

That’s what fog lights are for - you don’t want headlights in fog.

@tabulahrasa - most cars I've driven don't switch fog lights on if headlights aren't on too.

But it's not exactly hard to turn a switch on and off, surely? I'm with your husband and the PP who doesn't like everything being automatic.

@madnesss I did say it was petty.

I wouldn’t accidentally drive off in the dark with no lights.

If you can't tell that you've no lights on when it's dark, you have bigger issues.

You're the driver. Up to you to check everything is as-needed before you set off. Mirrors, seatbelt, lights etc etc.

I don't either of you are being unreasonable for having a different preference.

Yab a little u to want him to change how he does things just because you prefer it that way. Would you start leaving the toilet seat up because he prefers it like that 😉

@Halstead

Exactly!

You what? How is the car in charge of you??

I didn't know there was such a thing as automatic lights. I need a new car

I’d hope anyone driving in fog would have the gumption to check their lights were on.

and I'd hope anyone driving in the dark, rain or just on a gloomy day would have the gumption to check their lights were on too.

My DH does this too. He’s a cock.

Just turn the auto back in when you get in the car op. Why does he have to remember to turn it on and you don't have to remember to check?

I Leave everything on auto, including the gearbox. Why make work for yourself?

Check your damn lights and stop being a child.

Too many idiots think technology is some replacement for having a brain. Probably the same people who buy into Tesla Full Self Driving and end up on fire in a ditch as consequence.